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Stephen Buxton
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This puzzle was first heard on Radio 4's Puzzle Panel back in October 1999. The author of the puzzle? Me.

My Russian friend sent me a script of the Russian sitcom 'Why is no one being served?' Unfortunately the translation leaves a lot to be desired, so I need some help in interpreting it. Can anyone here help translate this short extract?

A: Hello, tin end of needle Hades bench.

B: Yes, sight organ forest similar to addition spoon partners.

A: Make tapestry succeeded solidify.

B: Have sheep chicken leg joint heath.

A: Be cognisant that onion.
If you put an infinite number of apes in front of an infinite number of computers, you get a pretty good idea of what internet chat rooms can be like
Lambertmoon
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I have to go but ...This looks good,Stephen
I'll be back tomorrow.

I only see the obvious

B. Yes I would like to ?

B. Have ewe(you) any (hen knee)??
Sapient
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"B: Yes, sight organ forest similar to addition spoon partners. "

Yes,I would like some forks or sliverware or knives.

"A: Make tapestry succeeded solidify. "

We've done harden?

"A: Be cognisant that onion. "

No, the root?
stanalger
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Hello, tin end of needle Hades bench.

= Hi, can I hell pew

= Hi, can I help you?
stanalger
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Hi, can I help you?
Yes, I would like some silverware.
We've one set.
Have you any more? (heath=moor)
No, it's all out. (onion=shallot)
Jonathan Townsend
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I will not buy this tobacconist, it is broken.
...to all the coins I've dropped here
stanalger
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Quote:
On 2005-08-03 08:27, Jonathan Townsend wrote:
I will not buy this tobacconist, it is broken.


Well, that's something that's completely different!

(If not broken, at least scratched.)
Stephen Buxton
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There are some right answers!

A: Hello, tin end of needle Hades bench.
Hello, Can eye hell pew (Hello, Can I help you?)
B: Yes, sight organ forest similar to addition spoon partners.
Yes, eye wood like sum spoon partners (Yes, I would like some...)
A: Make tapestry succeeded solidify.
Weave won set (We've one set)
B: Have sheep chicken leg joint heath.
Have ewe hen knee moor (Have you any more?)
A: Be cognisant that onion
know that shallot (No...)

Almost there with the last line - just try saying it out loud. As for the "spoon partners", try thinking back to your time at playschool
If you put an infinite number of apes in front of an infinite number of computers, you get a pretty good idea of what internet chat rooms can be like
Sapient
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Yes, I would like some knives?
No, that's a lot?
Vandy Grift
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Yes, I would like some dishes? (the dish ran away with the spoon)
"Get a life dude." -some guy in a magic forum
Stephen Buxton
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Dishes is right (and for the right reason).

How about the last line now?
If you put an infinite number of apes in front of an infinite number of computers, you get a pretty good idea of what internet chat rooms can be like
Stephen Buxton
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Not "That's a lot" - replace the middle word
If you put an infinite number of apes in front of an infinite number of computers, you get a pretty good idea of what internet chat rooms can be like
Vandy Grift
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That the lot?
"Get a life dude." -some guy in a magic forum
Stephen Buxton
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No, not "the" - make it more possessive
If you put an infinite number of apes in front of an infinite number of computers, you get a pretty good idea of what internet chat rooms can be like
Vandy Grift
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I think my American accent is preventing me from sounding it out correctly. LOL
"Get a life dude." -some guy in a magic forum
pxs
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No, that's your lot
Jonathan Townsend
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Where did you get the "y" sound?
...to all the coins I've dropped here
stanalger
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No "y" sound in the "sh" of "shallot"?

"That shore opinion."

Okay, if it's not a "y" sound, it's awful darn close
to a "y" sound, isn't it?

"Let shell louder!"

If we're going to nitpick, how about the "r" sound?

I think pxs has finished this one off.
Stephen Buxton
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I think pxs did too Smile
If you put an infinite number of apes in front of an infinite number of computers, you get a pretty good idea of what internet chat rooms can be like
Sapient
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"No, that's your lot"

Dang that British phrasology. It gets me every time.
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