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daffydoug Eternal Order Look mom! I've got 14077 Posts |
What have you done that gets the dumb award?
Myself, I recall as a kid going into the basement and playing with my dad's tools. Unfortunately, I didn't bother to put them back in the toolbox, ( a minor detail) and I left them and some huge nails laying on the basement floor. I found out real quick, though, when I came home one day and my dad was sitting in the kitchen with a huge gauze bandage wrapped around his foot. On the bandage I could see a lovely spot of blood seeping through from where he had stepped on one of the nails while walking in the basement. The expression on his face as I entered the kitchen told me that my young life had finally run it's course, and I was about to be pounded into the next century. Dumb, very dumb, that's what it was. I have a few others to share, but first a word from our sponsors... How about you? What did you do that get's the dumb award?
The difficult must become easy, the easy beautiful and the beautiful magical.
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Chrystal Inner circle Canada/France 1552 Posts |
Good Post DaffyDoug and even at the expense of making myself look "silly" I'm going to relate my story..but have to add a little background info first.
When I was a student in University ,( Special Ed) I took on a job once at week at a Group Home for Disabled Kids. The children ranged in ages from 7 to 15. "L" was 15 and had been living there since she was 6. Her disabilities were numerous, Tourettes, Obsessive Compulsive, She was in a wheel chair as she also suffered from Cerebral Palsy and a host of other syndromes. A temper like no other I've ever seen, but an incredible memory too. "L" lived at the home full time and had gone through 22 staff the previous year before I worked with her. Her arm muscles were huge and she could pull herself out of her chair if she needed to attack someone's legs or ram you with her chair if she was upset at you. She screamed obcenities that would make anyone blush no matter who you were.She also loved throwing whatever she could get her hands on..my reflexes became pretty good over time. LOL Still underneath that exterior was the most incredible, loving, funniest person I've ever had the pleasure of meeting. In fact, everyone that met her said she was unforgetable. We hit it off instantaneously as I found what would difuse her outburst was humor. I'd often burst into her room with a James Brown rendition..complete with dancing. Ha Ha! No matter how angry she was that seemed to do the trick..as she would howl with laughter and usually forget about being mad. Dunno if it was my singing or dancing that she found so funny. :O) Not to say we didn't have bad days as I stopped being embarressed every time we went out in public and she would curse like a sailor or scream so loudly, security was called on numerous occasions as it sounded as someone was getting murdered. Nope, after a few years of this I no longer cared and would remain calm even when she was having her temper tantrums in public. I also learned to push her chair quickly away should anyone ever speak to her in a condesending manner...that was her pet peeve. I also learned never to get into it with her as she would get a kick outta the shock on people's faces. A few years later ...as I always kept in touch and we would go for lunch sometimes.I would always have to be careful with my choice of places as she was often fond of throwing food if something displeased her. She told me her one wish was to someday eat at a restuarant with white linen tablecloths and to go dancing in a nightclub. My piano teacher told me her church was hosting a Christmas dinner for families who were new arrivals from third world countries. I'm not religious, nor was "L" but they invited us to go. The waiters were dressed in tuxes, the tables were elegant with white linen table cloths and crystal stemware. My piano teacher had arranged for 4 Hunky men to carry "L's" chair downstairs to the "restaurant". She was beaming! She was a big flirt too and made many men blush with her comments. This was her dream come true! Seated at our table were some members of a very large family who didn't speak English very well. We made introductions and everything seemed to be going well until "L" was served something (can't remember what) that set her off. I knew her well enough to see it coming...it was like a storm brewing..I also knew the next thing was her plate or food would be flying off the table or a slew of curse words were next. I look around and see all the effort that's gone into this night, for everyone at the tables to those that hosted it. I also knew that the children seated with us would be frightened by her outburst. I did what anyone would of done under those circumstances. I stood up and sang James Brown..I Feel Good . LOLOL Chrystal |
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scott b. Special user 732 Posts |
OMG Chrystal, I must admit, the end of the story was quite humorous.
Thanks! Scott B.
"I don't know the key to success . . . but the key to failure is trying to please everybody." - Bill Cosby |
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Cliffg37 Inner circle Long Beach, CA 2491 Posts |
I was puttin gup a picture on my wall, and hit my thumb with the hammer. In rage I went to throw the hammer and scream, but I saw the computer, and said don't throw it there. The I saw the window, don't throw it there, then I saw the bed...Ah ha. I threw that hammer at the bed as hard as I could. I watch in horror and slow motion as the hammer hit the bed and bounced right up to the window. I don't think I can type what came out of my mouth but it sounded something like "Ohhhhhhhhhhhh Spit". The hammer hit the window smartly, and by some miricle, the glass did not break. Thank the Lord.
Magic is like Science,
Both are fun if you do it right! |
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Michael Baker Eternal Order Near a river in the Midwest 11172 Posts |
Isn't rage one of the seven deadly sins. Good reason, too. I was once making a grand exit in a fit of rage and slung the door open very hard just as I was walking through it. The bottom of the door hit my foot, bounced back, and I cold-cocked myself walking straight into the edge of it.
~michael baker
The Magic Company |
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Greg Arce Inner circle 6732 Posts |
Oh, boy... here goes... I'm going to lose what little respect I've gained in this community.
Well, in my early teens I was into anything that had to do with fire magic. I was working with the Kikuchi fire gimmicks one day and thought it might be cool to suddenly breath fire like a dragon... through my nose.... wait for it... I decided that what would be cool would be to take small pieces of flashpaper and roll them into tiny comet shapes. I did so and inserted the two comets into each nostril so that the little tails stuck out... okay, I can hear you laughing... stop it... it gets worse. I decided that it would happen during a fire routine with the Kikuchi fires so I tried it once... Just once... I was in my bedroom and loaded the little comets in my nose... I flicked the Kikuchi's and took the flame to my nose... okay, stop laughing... the tails went up and I snorted out with some force... well, it seems I had wedged the little suckers a bit tight up there... they didn't shoot out as expected. I ended up burning the INSIDE of my nose. It's a pain I can't even describe and how long it lingered... I thought it would never heal...breathing even hurt. Okay, you can all laugh now. I was very young remember. Greg
One of my favorite quotes: "A critic is a legless man who teaches running."
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RandyStewart Inner circle Texas (USA) 1989 Posts |
I'll have to get back to this post with my own personal dumb moment as I have too many to mention. First, I'd like to mention my sister, mom, and a wedding they attended some twenty years ago. Hours before the wedding they chatted like two school girls about how well they'd be looking in their chosen dresses. They were working on their hair and wearing rollers (like I said, about 20yrs ago). They rambled on about how wonderful it was to see mom's cousin getting married and what a cinderella life she would soon be living.
Makeup and final touches brought them just a wee-bit closer to being satisfied and walking away from the mirrors. A final tug to the waistline of their dresses and off they went. Purses on shoulders, commanding dad and I to feed and walk the dog, finish a garage project, and remind the neighbor to return lawn mower with the expectation of it being used on our own yard, they smartly left the house for their cameo appearance and ongoing "air kisses" at the upcoming reception. They returned late that night just bubblin' over with stories and comments about the wonderful event. They also had the expected critique on a couple of evil relatives and their manner of dress and behavior. Sis had that Farrah Fawcett hair going as she flipped it about commenting on how she would of done things different. Tired of the details, Dad asked Sis had it been her wedding, would she of worn her hair the way she had it at the moment or some other way. Rolling her eyes and giving Dad a disparaging look she said "And what is wrong with this, in fact, very up to date look sir?....." Dad's reply: "Well I just think a hair roller hanging off the back center of your head might be a little too wild". Yep, Sis had removed ALL BUT ONE of her hair rollers. She had that last one hanging in the back during the entire wedding and reception with not a soul telling her about it. I assume no one saw it. The hysterical moment was the look on her face when she reached behind her head and felt the hair roller. Running off practically in tears, we too were in tears from laughter. Boy we love to talk about that day alright. |
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Chrystal Inner circle Canada/France 1552 Posts |
I'm laughing so hard now.... tool boxes, burning nostrils, bouncing hammers, doors bent on revenge and a hair roller on a well dressed girl. Thanks to those that posted and thanks to you as well Scott for the comment.
Chrystal |
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Greg Arce Inner circle 6732 Posts |
Actually, I could probably take over this thread with all the stupid things I've done in the past. I was pretty adventuresome when I was younger so I was know to go a little while with experiments.... the magic kind.
Almost drowned in a pool when I was in my escape phase... dropped the pick that I was going to use to open the cuffs that had me secured to the bottom of the ladder. Burnt part of my bed as I practiced a new type of silk production that use a kind of flat dove pan like gimmick... I hit it with the lid on the way down and the pan did a 180 and spilled the burning fluid onto the bed I was practicing by. I have to roof stories that would take too long to describe, but both had me doing stupid things and almost caused some damage. Maybe I'll sit down and write them later because they are amusing. Plus I have several dentist stories that went awry... when I was a kid I think the dentists were out to get me because they kept messing up various things in my mouth... some in a very painful way. Greg
One of my favorite quotes: "A critic is a legless man who teaches running."
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Jerrine Special user Busking is work. 629 Posts |
As a young lad I attempted to fit an A/C adapter for one item to another. The plug went in but failed to power the device. I deduced that there was an insufficient connection between the two, I had checked voltage and plug polarity earlier. To make a better connection I in my wisdom thought it best to lick the end of the plug supplying a conductive material to be used by both sides, thereby making the connection I sought. I did not think to unplug the adapter and was shocked to learn how fast I could remove an adapter plug from my mouth. This is the dumbest thing I have ever done.
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Vandy Grift Inner circle Milwaukee 3504 Posts |
Years ago I was doing deliveries for a printing company. One of our new salesmen said he had a new account and wanted me to make a delivery there. When I made the delivery the woman there was kind of giving me weird smiles and just kind of making weird faces.
When I got back to the shop the guy said "how did the delivery go?" I said "It went fine but the dumb **** was giving me the ******* google eyes." He said "Yeah, that dumb **** is my wife" Oooooopppps.
"Get a life dude." -some guy in a magic forum
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daffydoug Eternal Order Look mom! I've got 14077 Posts |
I was young and kind of had my head up my arse. anyway, I was in play at school. it was rehearsal, and if you've ever done theatre, you know that they slather you with makeup. Such as heavy eyeliner for instance.
so anyway, rehearsal ends, and I go home. but first I stop by my dad's restaurant. It was strange, and I couldn't figure out why all the customers in the place were staring at me, and looking at me like I was from outer space. Anyway, I get home and look in the mirror, and discover that I had not yet removed the makeup. you know, eye liner, lipstick, rouge and fun stuff like that. Dumb. REALLY dumb. today, however, I would probably blend right in.
The difficult must become easy, the easy beautiful and the beautiful magical.
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Rickfcm Veteran user lower Michigan 382 Posts |
As a ten year old boy with a bb gun, my friends and I shot out the window in a garage, not knowing there was a new Cadillac inside. The police told us that detail after they put six of us in the backseat of the patrol car. New Cadillic, got a newer windshield.
Rick |
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daffydoug Eternal Order Look mom! I've got 14077 Posts |
When I was a kid, we used to run around naked at night peeking in the windows of neighbor's houses. First streakers..that's what we were.
Dumb it was because if the cops ever caught us....
The difficult must become easy, the easy beautiful and the beautiful magical.
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drwilson Inner circle Bar Harbor, ME 2191 Posts |
In my life, I have done some really major dumb things that aren't funny, but here's a small one that is.
I didn't perform magic or anything else for a period of five or six years. Soon after I moved to Maine, friends from work wanted to host a grand party in a huge mansion that we had access to. They had done this in prior years, and there was a little talent show, so I had decided to perform as Dr. Wilson for the first time. I was helping out with organizing, decorating, and putting together packets of slum for the kids. The old hands had made some vague efforts in this direction in prior years, but I was going to show them how it was really done. I knew where to get great slum, I knew how to decorate, and I knew that I had it in me to be the talk of the talent show. The day was mine! Well, you can see where this is going. When you get cocky and start strutting around knowing that you are going to wrest an event out of the hands of amateurs and propel it to new levels of achievement, the Universe has a great sense of humor and has something prepared for you. I was putting up black-and-yellow "Party Zone" tape across the doorway to a patio where roudy kids could go without breaking anything. I cut off a length of adhesive tape, taped one end of the Party Zone tape to the door frame, then unrolled enough Party Zone tape to reach across the doorway at a rakish and visually pleasing angle. So now I had one finger holding the Party Zone tape in place, and in the same hand, the roll of adhesive tape. I knew that Scotch tape wasn't going to cut it, so I had clear packing tape that was really strong and very, very sticky. I cut a length of packing tape, then realized that I had not yet cut the Party Zone tape. I was running short of time, and for a moment it seemed that I needed a third hand. I did what our remote ancestors did when they first came down out of the trees and walked the savannah. I stuck the piece of packing tape between my lips and held it there for a moment while I cut the Party Zone tape to the perfect length. Proud of my achievement, I pulled the piece of packing tape from between my lips... And removed most of the inside of my lower lip in the process. Those of you who have had these moments know that after the initial shock of the pain has passed, one enters a phase of damage assessment. Just exactly how bad have I hurt myself, I wondered as I reached to my mouth, which felt surprisingly warm and wet. My hand came away with blood on it, and my mouth filled with the metallic taste of blood that tells you that you have really messed up. My thoughts rapidly progressed to concealment. There was no one else around, and if the mess was not visible from the front, I could keep the whole dumb thing a secret. Fortunately, that was the case, and the performance and the evening went well. One of the other organizers broke a drinking glass while cleaning up and ended up getting a couple of stitches in her hand. She had been pretty nervous about the evening, and had just gotten clumsy. She was pretty embarrassed, and kept talking about how stupid she had been, so that was my cue to tell her the tape story, which greatly cheered her up and helped her healing process. If any of you are hurt and feeling dumb out there, I hope the story does the same for you. Yours, Paul |
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Partizan Inner circle London UK 1682 Posts |
I once (14) rolled a boulder off a hill with the help of a friend, as we got to the edge to watch the fun we noticed a car park at the bottom.
We could only watch in horror as this thing span and bounced its way towards the cars. It hit one car so hard that it moved it over 20ft into two other cars and caved in the rear. Let me tell you that I have never run as fast and as far as on that day.
"You cannot depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus."
- Mark Twain |
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RS1963 Inner circle 2736 Posts |
The only dumb thing I care to remember at the moment is I had been at work for about two hours and looked down to see I had a black dress shoe on and a black sneaker! If there had ever been a need for a poster child for dorks I would certainly fill that positon well!
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Greg Arce Inner circle 6732 Posts |
Oh, boy... the shoe story reminded me of an embarrassing thing I did when I worked respiratory many, many years ago.
This one will have me bowing my head in shame. For about a week I was given the assigment to work in a small school that had special needs kids. They all had some physical or mental handicap. A lot of the kids had respiratory problems and I had to keep them on their daily schedule of treatments while they were at the school. I kind of was housed in the nurse's office with my equipment. When I came in the first day they gave me a list of the students, their meds and the various times I would be seeing them throughout the day... and they gave me one case that they said I kind of had to babysit... Malik Russel. Malik Russel suffered from respiratory problems due to his size. He was extremely overweight. He was about ten years old and weighed more than many grown men. Part of the assignment was to weigh him twice a day, give him his meds. and constantly supervise him because he was known to cheat on his diet by stealing food from other kids... and make sure he went out to play during recess. Oh, boy. Everything was going well until one day after I weighed him he asked to help him put on his sneakers. I did. Suddenly it was a struggle. No matter how hard I pushed on the shoe it wouldn't go on. I kept saying, "Push, Malik, Push!!" All I could think was that somehow this kid had cheated on the diet and now his feet were swollen. Well, we struggled with each shoe and finally got them on. I sent him out to play. He was gone for about a half hour and then comes back afterwards to office. He walks up to me and I was wondering if the exercise had exhausted him and he needed a breathing treatment. He looks up at me and says, "Look" He points down to his shoes. Uh... I had put them on backwards and his left was on his right foot and vice-versa. We fixed the problem, but I just couldn't believe what I had done. Greg
One of my favorite quotes: "A critic is a legless man who teaches running."
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Ron Reid Inner circle Phoenix, Arizona 2733 Posts |
Hi:
The dumbest thing I've ever done is I got married one month after meeting a woman. The marriage didn't last very long. Ron |
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daffydoug Eternal Order Look mom! I've got 14077 Posts |
I recall a time I rode a bike down a steep hill that ran into a woods. it was an extremely narrow path, just wide enough to accomodate my bike tires.
Anyway, I had reall gotten up some speed, and the incline of the hill made that easy. I was peddling away with all my might, ....yeeeeeeehaw! Then I noticed it. the end of the path. And parked right in the end of the path was a t...r...e...e. Too late to stop, I couldn't slow down even because of the momentum. you guessed it. WHHHHAMMM! I hit so hard that it's amazing I didn't geta major concussion. Now who the *** planted that ****tree right at the end of that path? I'll never know.
The difficult must become easy, the easy beautiful and the beautiful magical.
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