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ed rhodes Inner circle Rhode Island 2885 Posts |
Quote:
On 2005-08-04 16:13, bonbonhia wrote: I thought I was the only one stupid enough to do that one! Posted: Aug 5, 2005 10:45pm --------------------------------------------------- Quote:
On 2005-08-04 18:36, daffydoug wrote: I did a play once called "Deadwood Dick, Legend of the West" we performed in a local theatre in Queens. One weekend, I'd come down with a cold and the only thing that got me through the night was a quart of orange juice. One night, I walked to the variety store next to the theatre to buy my orange juice, not paying any attention to the fact that I was dressed as a cowboy with two six shooters and a three day growth of beard (courtesy of crepe hair). The next day, I went in _before_ the production to get the orange juice and the owner said; "Are you with that theatre group next door? Man, I almost tossed your #$@ out the door when you came in dressed like that!"
"...and if you're too afraid of goin' astray, you won't go anywhere." - Granny Weatherwax
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daffydoug Eternal Order Look mom! I've got 14077 Posts |
ROFL!!
The difficult must become easy, the easy beautiful and the beautiful magical.
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RS1963 Inner circle 2734 Posts |
Another thing I did (I am not proud of either.) I was walking to the store to pick up somethings. I was walking past the exit to the post office and some woman in her care was stoped waitning for traffic. The ever patient me not wanting to waite for her to move so I could continue on I walked around her car and smacked my head into a low street sign.
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RandyStewart Inner circle Texas (USA) 1989 Posts |
Off to a rough start on a Monday morning, I decided to stop at a gas station for coffee. Drove up to the parking lot in a hurry and stormed past the front door. Clerk barely got a chance to say "Good morning!" as I whisked past him and glad to see no one else in the store.
Skipping the flavored creams, I grab a couple of napkins, slammed a lid on the cup, and I was on my way. While driving, my plans for pulling off the day were becoming more clear as I prioritized my "to do" list. The next red light allowed my mind to wander into the unimportant. It was then that I realized I hadn't paid for the coffee I was drinking! Nope! In front of the clerk, I walked in, poured the cup and walked right past him, and drove off! Can't imagine what the clerk thought of me. I also went grocery shopping and at checkout realized I'd forgotten my wallet. Yep, no money, no ID, nada! |
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NJJ Inner circle 6437 Posts |
I was driving down a country road through an area populated with dozens of horse studs. Horse of all kinds as far as the eye can see. Giant clysdales, sleek race horses, cute little ponies. Every type of equine you could imagine.
As I drove down the road I saw, on the side of the road, the oddest looking horse I have ever seen in my entire life. It was the usual brown colour but it was quite short for a horse, about the same height as a shetland pony. But it was also incredibly fat. It was maybe two or three times the width a horse that height should be. As I got closet I saw that its tail was matted and tied into a sort of thin dredlock. It turned around as my card got close and I saw that its ears were short and stubby and its face was squashed in as if it has rear ended a volvo. I starred at this bizarre creature in front of me and realised in had some sort of horrible growth between its legs. What should be a flat stomach had a large bulbous pink growth sticking out of it. I turned to my wife and said "Check out that weird horse!" My wife turned, looked and said "Honey...that's a cow." |
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RS1963 Inner circle 2734 Posts |
ROFLMAO!
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Alym Amlani Inner circle Canada 1464 Posts |
This one hurt:
I was performing the sponge bunnies at a table and the kids were loving it...to get the laughter up even higher I did the old crayon-up-the-nose bit, where it looks like it goes in but you of course retain it in the hand. Well, this got an uproar of laughter from both the kids and adults and became a running gag at the table. Of course, the last time I tried it w/ a crayon, it got stuck on my hand and DID go up my nose about 2 inches causing an immediate nose-bleed. I had to excuse myself from the table telling them that 4 crayons was my limit. Fortunately I didn't bleed too long and the table laughed it off, but oh man....
Logic Defied
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Chrystal Inner circle Canada/France 1552 Posts |
LOL these stories are very funny!
I'm going to share one which is actually about my dentist who is appropriately named Dr.Jinks (I kid you not). A few years ago I made a pilot project for a tv show which I played a rather unattractive hillbilly. I wore very realistic buck teeth made from porceline and required to have a mold taken of my teeth for a perfect fit. Dr. Jinks who is one of my biggest fans and quite humorous himself, has a before and after pic of me in his office. The one after is with my big teeth..lol. I visited his office as I unfortunately cracked the last pair he had made me and had previously visited him to have another mold made. This appointment was to make sure that the new pair fit. He's very enthusiastic when she sees me claiming he found a new product which will guarantee that the buck teeth will adhere to my real ones much better than in the past. " I purchased it with you in mind", he tells me, "this product is supposedly better than any of the others and quick drying!". Once satisfied they fit perfectly he tried to remove them. He pulls and pulls...nothing. His assistant, Noreen, tries as well..no luck. Now I'm starting to chuckle. Dr. Jinks goes to get something that resembles plyers..apologies and tries...nothing. He then bangs my teeth to loosen these humongous teeth with what resembles a hammer...nothing. He starts looking quite frightened which for a 6'4 man is alarming. I am laughing so hard, tears are starting to roll down my eyes, visions of having these huge rabbit like teeth for the rest of my life. He thinks I'm crying because he has hurt me, which it did but more because I thought it was hilarious. Now his face is red and he's looking very flustered..and keeps trying. It took 45 mins to remove them all the while the tears were running down my face as I thought it was soooooo funny!! So this story isn't about me...it's about him as he incorrectly read the label and forgot to apply one of the ingredients to the mixture. LOLOL Chrystal |
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Corey Harris Inner circle Kansas City, MO 1229 Posts |
As a kid the dumbest thing I did was Shave our family cat completly bald while my parents were at work, then smeared her with vasoline and perfume. I will never forget that beating. lol. The dumbest thing as an adult though happend with my wrestling. I was having a match for TV and decided that since my opponent was on the outside of the ring on his back that I would dive onto the concrete with a flying elbow drop. Needless to say, 2 sounds came from my body that night. The smack of my flesh on the concrete and the breaking of my tail bone.
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daffydoug Eternal Order Look mom! I've got 14077 Posts |
Youch!!!
The difficult must become easy, the easy beautiful and the beautiful magical.
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Airborne Ranger New user 68 Posts |
Got married....twice....to the same woman. Talk about a magician - you should see how she made all my money disappear.
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Patrick Differ Inner circle 1540 Posts |
Driving while reading a book. Flying down I-15 south, steering with my knees, reading a book I literally couldn't put down. I was doing about 65 and came up on a VW van that some hippie was driving at about 35. When I looked up from my book, I could read the numbers on his license plate tag. I automatically swerved to the right and blew by him while on the shoulder. I wish I could have seen his face. Ya should'a seen mine!
Will you walk into my parlour? said the Spider to the Fly,
Tis the prettiest little parlour that ever you did spy; The way into my parlour is up a winding stair, And I've a many curious things to show when you are there. Oh no, no, said the little Fly, to ask me is in vain, For who goes up your winding stair -can ne'er come down again. |
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Bill Palmer Eternal Order Only Jonathan Townsend has more than 24312 Posts |
I had an assistant once who won prizes for ignernt. She bought a house that had one way glass on the windows. She didn't realize that at night, when it was dark outside and light inside, that the glass was "one way" the other way. She was in the habit of parading around her living room in front of the picture window, either nood or semi-nekkid. Until one night when I took her outside, so she could look at her living room.
I was at a party one night, when I was in my late teens, and one of the other kids came in with a "dead" 'possum in his hand. He said, "Look! I found a dead 'possum." We all told him to take him outside, because he wasn't dead. He didn't make it. 'Possums have one form of defense that they didn't tell you about in the high school biology books. How shall I put this delicately? They release the contents of their lower digestive tract with great vigor and spray everything within about 6 feet of them. Okay, now for one of mine. I was installing a sound system at the Texas Renaissance Festival at the Falconry exhibit. To do this, I had to climb up a 10 foot step ladder which was on top of a 3 foot berm. I got the speaker installed, climbed down the ladder, and when I reached what I thought was the ground, I stepped back off the ladder ... into oblivion. I landed flat on my back. I had the breath knocked out of me. But the thing I remember most was looking up at the edge of a concrete bench that I must have missed with my head by scant millimeters. Lesson learned -- when on a stepladder, never step back to admire your work. Almost as dumb -- a big tropical storm blew a branch off a tree in our front yard. Our ever-helpful neighbor dragged it into our yard in such a way that it blocked the entry to our house. We had to climb over it to get inside. I called the city, and they informed me that I needed to saw it into sections no more than four feet long and stack it by the sidewalk. So I rented an electric chain saw. I asked the people I rented it from if there were any safety measures I needed to know about. "Naw. If you let go of it the switch will automatically cut off." So I went to work cutting the branch into sections. Now this branch was about 30 feet long and it had little branches as long as 6 feet sticking out of it "every which away." I started sawing. The ground was wet and slippery. Suddenly the saw bound, and the branch started to turn towards me. I could see a little branch swinging up in my direction. I backpedaled as fast as I could, and this branch hit me "upside the head" and cold-cocked me. I was out like a light. I came to about 5 minutes later, soaked to the skin. I had smashed my thumb. I ended up losing a thumbnail and having a huge bruise on the side of my face.
"The Swatter"
Founder of CODBAMMC My Chickasaw name is "Throws Money at Cups." www.cupsandballsmuseum.com |
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daffydoug Eternal Order Look mom! I've got 14077 Posts |
Quote:
On 2005-08-14 17:50, Patrick Differ wrote: Priceless!
The difficult must become easy, the easy beautiful and the beautiful magical.
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pasharabbit New user 73 Posts |
The dumbest thing I ever did was when I was 11 years old growing up in NYC. My friend got ahold of some fire crackers and I came up with the brilliant idea of sticking a fire cracker in a huge pile of dog doo. Must have been a Saint Bernard's. We lit the fuse and backed off, but not far enough. The fire cracker went off and we were covered head to foot with it. My friend told that the next time we should pick a smaller doo!
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Phil Thomas Inner circle Newark, Ohio 1117 Posts |
I once mistakingly put Ben Gay on my toothbrush. Talk about an attention grabber! My wife has since nicknamed me "hotlips".
"If we lose the sense of the mysterious, life is no more than a snuffed out candle."
Albert Einstein |
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JustinDavid Veteran user 370 Posts |
Phil that's freakin hilarious.
When I was a freshman is high school, I came home from school and ran upstairs to light a cigarette on the stove (ohhh bad habit). In doing so, I set my overly gelled hair on fire. Being so shocked I jumped back and sucked the cigarette right into my mouth and down my throat. I was able to hack it up. Luckily I didn't go all the way up in flames. If that's not bad enough, I went in my room to get a drink of water from a random water bottle lying around, to calm my nerves. I took a nice long swig and then realized .. "gee.. I'm drinking cologne from the bottle I broke the other day and poured into a water bottle to preserve." Genius. |
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Michael Baker Eternal Order Near a river in the Midwest 11172 Posts |
Quote:
On 2006-03-19 20:45, JustinDavid wrote: ...and to think, I've hired you. Boy does that give me a lot of confidence... LOL! ~michael
~michael baker
The Magic Company |
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Josh the Superfluous Inner circle The man of 1881 Posts |
Dumb thing #1
Cheated on my high school girlfriend. Dumb thing #2 Got a little carried away with "the other girl" while in my brother's room. Hearing him enter the room, we decided to leave with his blanket over our heads. Giggling with embarrassment we almost made it to the door, when I realized that it wasn't my brother standing there; It was my mortified high school girlfriend. The way I handled the situation (cheating) is my biggest regret. I did learn from it though.
What do you want in a site? "Honesty, integrity and decency." -Mike Doogan
"I hate it, I hate my ironic lovechild. I didn't even have anything to do with it" Josh #2 |
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ringmaster Inner circle Memphis, Down in Dixie 1974 Posts |
Quote: When I was a young stagehand,I drove my truck onto the floor of the Midsouth Coloseum ( the home of professional resslin') to pick up some tables. The wrestling rink waas set up and no one was around, so I desided to take a look. after I saw the springs and padded canvas I decided that the thing was really a big tramopoline. To test out this theory I climbed onto the second rope and did a perfict belly flop onto the canvas. Fortuately, no one was around so I could lay there a loooog time.On 2005-08-08 14:42, Corey Harris wrote:
One of the last living 10-in-one performers. I wanted to be in show business the worst way, and that was it.
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