I am thinking of doing a cell phone smash. I thought it would be fun to set it up with someone's phone going off during a set.

What comedic ideas do people have for this situation? One idea that occurred to me was insisting on answering it and then pretending that I had stolen it, 'yeah I stole his wallet too...it was your mother' etc...

Felix

(P.S. I don't think previous threads have precisely dealt with this)

Depending on the venue, I have a couple lines for when this happens...

"If that's my agent, tell him I'm busy!"

"I told my girlfriend to never call me at work!"

"Well, we know where the drug dealer is sitting now..."

"OOOOO, look at me, look at me! I have a cell phone!"

"Hey could you put that back in your pants on vibrate and call yourself?!"


Lyndel

I added my favorite cell phone comedy routine under Secret Sessions:

http://www.themagiccafe.com/forums/viewt......37&9

This addresses cell phones at the beginning of your show in a comedic way, provides a great magic routine AND has the advantage of making people turn the cell phones off so that THEY aren't targeted next.

Skip

That cell phone bit is great... awesome job.

Ask them to answer the phone and get the person in the other end to name any card. You'd be surprised how much comedy you can get into the byplay as the person in the other end realised he/she is "on stage".

Of course, at the end you produce the card from your pocket or use a brainwave deck or whatever.

that's an ingenious idea. I never thought about that, having someones phone going off and asking them to name a card, or having someone call someone else. Then using an indinvisible deck to reveal the selection. I love it.

Robert Baxt has a cell phone routine he sells on his web site.
It has an RF trigger which causing a box attached under someones chair to ring.
He walks over and asks them for their cell phone and smashes it to pieces and of course restores it.
I seen him perform it at Houdini Days 2004. Great routine.

-"Yes...he CAN hear you now!!"

-When you hear the phone ring, reach into your briefcase and pull out your 10 year old brick phone and say "hello...hello??".

A good one-liner for BEFORE the show is...

-"Now, before I begin, if I could ask everyone to please turn off their cell phones. If you are caught, your phone will be on Ebay by 5pm tomorrow evening."

The audience director at GMA Studios used to use the line before the show.
~Jonton

Can you turn your phone off please mate its for Security reasons.....

SOCIAL SECURITY REASONS

"If it's the invisible man, tell him I can't see him"

I have never had this happen to me.

How about saying "that's a rubbish ringtone get a better one."

Or for fans of dom jolley why not make a joke along with his giant phone.

I thought of using the gag where you have your own cell phone go off..... carry on a brief goofy conversation...... and then use this to show how you and others would feel when one of there's goes off..... or you could go into the crowd and shave using an electric shaver.

I don't know if this would be funny..

but if the guys phone goes off.. you shout out.. "HIT THE MUSIC!" Your DJ hits some very loud jungle music..you go into the crowd and start a Conga line around the guy!


or ( this idea is inspired by the guy from "trigger happy t.v" )

you pull out a HUGE cell phone..I mean one that's 3 feet tall ( you can make it out of card board ) and attempt to talk to back to him

I go into the audience and borrow the offending cell phone from its owner and have a chat with the caller. My conversation, which goes out over my wireless and is not vulgar, is always humorous to the audience. This usually lasts no more than one minute. I then tell the caller when my show will be over and tell them to call back then. Then I clearly turn the phone off, give it back to its owner and proceed with my show.

Carl

Best "turn off your phone gag" I ever say belonged to Tim Ellis and Sue Ann Webster. Very funny stuff!

Well, what was it??

I saw one standup comic walk into the audience, grab the woman's cell phone as she took it out to MAKE a call and, as she said "Hello," he grabbed it and put one of those compressed gas air horns to it and blasted away!

I found out later that the girl was his wife and that it was a set up, but you should have SEEN the REST of the audience scrambling to turn THEIR phones off!

It was hysterical!

Lee Darrow, C.H.

I was thinking of a set-up where I'd do Shang-hi Shackle and right at the key moment, my cell phone goes off. Ask one of the people holding the ropes to get it for you and hold it to your ear.

"Yes? Dear I told you never to call me at work! Yes, I'm sure it's important but... oh all right, wait a minute!"

Escape from the ropes, pull a pad out of your pocket and start taking down a grocery list.

I have seen at a show the performer grab the phone and have a rather lengthy conversation about how the spectator is at a show right now and can't talk and then giving the message to the spectator, it was hilarious a definate go-er.

Also a one liner that I have heard and I like to use here and there is at the start of the show "Could you all please turn off your mobile phones, you may have noticed as you walked in that we have a jammer on the door to take care of any mobiles that may get a call... His name is Bubba and if he hears your phone ring he will be quiet happy to find a place to jam your mobile"

Moyle