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John Zander
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Downey, CA
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I had a doosey this weekend! Here is a riddle...

How can you tell who is the magician at a birthday party?



He is the only white guy there without prison tattoos!



This was a scary place. Nice house, scary people and a lot of 'em!

All drunk.



They put me in the back yard, in the direct sunlight, in the dirt right smack dab next to a jumper! The kids were free to go in and out of the jumper during the show. Kids were yelling from inside the jumper, I could go on and on. This was one of those jobs that makes you think twice about this type of work.



I can handle bad and rude kids. That is never a problem. And if you do kids shows you have to expect it, there are professional ways of handling those situations. But this one, I could not wait to get the hell out of there. I was sooo glad that it was the last party of the day.



Bad kids are pretty easy to handle, bad and rude parents.... that is a whole other thing Smile
Thank you,



John Zander







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John Zander

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Steve Brooks
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Northern California - United States
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John,

I really feel for you! Smile

I've had a couple crazy shows myself. Smile
"Always be you because nobody else can" - Steve Brooks
Dave Lewis
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Anaheim, California
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John,



I thought I had some bad shows! Drunken parents who are blasted by 2:00 in the afternoon are always a treat, huh?



I had one show where I thought I stunk out loud! The kids would not react to anything! When it was over I asked the mom if I was really that bad. She said "Oh, no! The Asian culture dictates that the children sit quietly and politely stare at the performer as though they were in a trance!" I'm paraphrasing here. I chalked that one up to the culture and not the possibility that I bombed!



Dave

(I was really tempted to put THIS-> Smile on this note but thought better of it.
John Zander
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Downey, CA
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Hi Dave!

Great to "see" you here pal! I know what you mean, if not for the money...

:bg: very funny.

P.S.: Drunk parents ARE the worst Smile
Thank you,



John Zander







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The Award Winning

Comedy Magic of

John Zander

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Scott F. Guinn
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"Great Scott!" aka "Palms of Putty" & "Poof Daddy G"
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Worst show ever? Christmas program for a big mining corporation. Two little boys in front kept arguing and pushing each other. I quietly told them to stop a couple of times, and then a full-fledged fight broke out! One kicked the other square on the nose with his cowboy boot heel (they were seated on the floor)! When asked for the parents to come get them, the two dads (both drunk), broke into a brawl as well! One of them broke free and threw a beer bottle at the other. He ducked, and it narrowly missed me, crashing on the wall behind me. I looked at the person "in charge" (HA!) and said, "I cannot and will not work in these conditions!" Packed up my case and left. That was the only time in over 25 years of performing that I've had to do that.



Oh, and I kept the full fee of my show and refused to work for them again when they called me the next year.
"Love God, laugh more, spend more time with the ones you love, play with children, do good to those in need, and eat more ice cream. There is more to life than magic tricks." - Scott F. Guinn
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John Zander
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Downey, CA
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That IS a bad one Scott!



Good for you for getting the heck out of there.... and keeping the fee Smile



I’ll say it again, drunk parents are the worst Smile Smile



To get drunk in front of your kids at anytime, shows what giant a*****es they are.





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John Zander

"Save the whales & collect the whole set!"

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The Award Winning

Comedy Magic of

John Zander

http://www.ZanderMagic.com

http://www.AllMagic.net

**************************
Thank you,



John Zander







***************************

The Award Winning

Comedy Magic of

John Zander

http://www.ZanderMagic.com

http://www.AllMagic.net
Doug Byrd
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John ole buddy,

Welcome to 90% of the kids show I ever performed. This is why you could not pay me enough to ever do another one. Sorry you had to face that demon, but get used to it. If you continue in that field you will eventually do quite a few more. It's just the law of averages in that field.

Doug
"Sic gorgiamus allos subjectatos nunc"
John Zander
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Downey, CA
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Hi Doug!

I have been doing kid shows for over two years. Birthdays, libraries, schools etc. and do not usually have any problems. For me this was a rare case. This was far from my first kid show.



I believe that if the kids cannot be controlled it is the magicians fault, but some situations are just hopeless, those are the fault of the parents..... usually drunk. In that case there is nothing that you can do...... except get paid up front Smile
Thank you,



John Zander







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John Zander

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magiker
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I think you should have had double the fee.

You did your best, thats all anyone can do.



I hereby award you the Kids Ent. Medal of Valor.

Smile
Magiker

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Peter Marucci
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Doug,

Either you are being too hard on kids' shows or you are performing in too many state prisons! Smile

In 50 years of performing for kids, I have never had a serious discipline problem.

I simply insist that at least one responsible adult (note the word "responsible")be there as the authority figure to maintain order.

And it works.

A lot of perfomers figure they will do kids' shows because it seems like an easy way to pick up a few bucks.

Wrong!!!!

Doing kids' shows is the hardest thing you will ever do in magic.

Period.

But, if you like doing them, you will never give them up.

cheers,

Peter Marucci

showtimecol@aol.com
John Zander
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Downey, CA
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You are so right Peter. But sometimes when you arrive there is a shortage of responsible parents. In that situation you can either work or leave. The show that I wrote about was a one of a kind. Most other shows are a real joy to work with kind parents and sweet kids.



I love working kid shows. The only thing that I do not like is the drive in-between shows. But it is still good work! Smile
Thank you,



John Zander







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John Zander

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Peter Marucci
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John,

Just remember: If it were easy, everyone would be doing it! Smile

cheers,

Peter Marucci

showtimecol@aol.com
Bengi
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Georgia
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In all the years I have done kids shows (30 years) I have only had one REALLY BAD experience.

I was doing a kids show for a local church. When I finished the show, I was suddenly swarmed by 120 kids!!!! In the end, I lost sponge balls, wands and an assortment of some quality magical equipment!!!

I guess the "Thou shalt not steal" was not taught well enough in that particular school!!!

But you know....one bad experience in 30 years is pretty good odds. I still love performing for kids....and they love me. So, I'll hopefully be doing them for another 30!!!

You can't believe it was your fault if the parents don't give a *&%! what their kids do...you did the job.....so grab the money and RUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!



Smile Bengi Smile
Peter Marucci
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Bengi,

You're 100 per cent right!

cheers,

Peter Marucci

showtimecol@aol.com
Wallace
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Bangor, Northern Ireland
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....And very, very lucky, in this day and age! Smile
Wallace B
Steve Brooks
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All this talk about ’bad’ kid shows got me to thinking about a show I did like eight or nine years ago.



A woman called me to book my services for around fifty kids. The show was to keep the children occupied at a reception, as her daughter was getting married. A big wedding.



After following crazy directions (another story), I finally arrived. There were at least forty or so cars parked outside the house, so I knew this was a good size event.



I went inside to set-up, and realized a huge ’Mexican’ wedding had taken place. Lot’s of drinking, music, etc.



The woman who hired me paid me ’cash’ in advance (my own personal policy, since once your show is finished, you are no longer of any value), and informed me she had to leave to take care of some things, but that I should go ahead and start the show anyway.



After she left, everyone gathered in the livingroom (a very large country home), and I began, only to discover NO ONE spoke any English. Apparently my employer was the only one who spoke English, and she was gone!



I’ll tell you this, I really had to re-think my approach in regards to my routines.



Many effects were now no longer possible due to the language problem. Others were visual enough that language was not an issue.



As it turned out, the kids were very well behaved, and the birthday girl really enjoyed the goldfish and bowl I produced from my ’Square Circle’ at the end.



Though this show might not qualify as "bad", it certainly was one that anyone could encounter....... be prepared! Smile



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conceptor
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My first post,



I had a similar situation to the mexican wedding thing. I did a b-day party recently, All communication was english, when I arrived, I was asked if I could perform in French. My contact knew I was bi-lingual (sorta) and figured I could just translate my act on the fly. It turned out, ok, and I got a video tape of the act with me working in french.



If working in an area where two languages are common, specify what language(s) your act is in.
malini
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My worst show was about a year ago, I had been told to expect about 30-40 children of all ages for a Christmas show at a local business. But when I got there I could see only 3, these 3 "Children" consisted of 1 teenager, a two year old and a six year old. Wonderful, especially when you have all your childrens effects like Run Rabbit Run etc... I set my gear up in a corner and started to get ready for my "childrens" show, and then suddenly my table falls over,

thanks to the six year old who decided to come up and lean on it, so down comes my table, my glass holding my 20th Centry silks smashes into millions of peices on the floor, a punnet of water I had on a shelf in my table for (my yet to be produced Rabbit) then spilled all over a large rainbow silk, which ran all the colors all over my other plain silks, white rope and change bag. But nevertheless I still had a childrens show to do to 3 children, I salvaged what I could from the soaking wet color lab behind my table and performed with cards, some rope etc, focusing my attention on the adults (whom there were about 30 of).

What Fun

Smile
Joe
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Sunny UK
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Doug

I hope your laws of averages are different where you come from than where I do.

Or maybe this just wasn't your field.

It is hard work sometimes but I think that's just part of the learning. I have only been entertaining children for five years but on the whole I find it very rewarding. On the rare occasion I have a problem it is normally the adults that are at fault but I always question myself as well. Just thinking of the money also helps.

Joe Smile
John Zander
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Downey, CA
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Those are some BAD shows for sure! We all get them Smile
Thank you,



John Zander







***************************

The Award Winning

Comedy Magic of

John Zander

http://www.ZanderMagic.com

http://www.AllMagic.net
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