At an office party earlier this evening, I did a small, impromptu coin routine for a female co-worker (to get over my nervous hand syndrome). Three steps into the routine, she reached out with both hands and slapped my hands to dislodge the hidden coin! I was so shocked and taken back by it, that I immediately stopped, picked up the coin and walked away. And she was sober!

I'm mentally prepared for dealing with sweaty palms, shaking hands and the infamous heckler - but this HAS to be beyond the norm. Is this a first? Do I really need to stand behind a table, set up orange road cones and police tape before I perform?

Do most of you keep a pretty good distance from your spectators when performing while standing? I'm working with half dollars.

-Dan

Dan,

I don't keep a distance while performing strolling magic, nor do any other magicians whom I know.

The problem you encountered could have many causes--maybe your presentation was viewed as a challenge, maybe she was a jerk (forget the maybe, she was a jerk), etc.

Keep in mind that performing for friends, family and acquaintences is different from performing for strangers. People you know can tend to be more grabby and willing to invade your "personal space." As hard as it may be, don't let that one bad experience get you down or shake your confidence.

Larry

Let's see... you thought you were entertaining and you provoked a fight (or flight) reponse from your audience. Surely the meaning of your communication IS the response it got.

Are you sure you want to address this issue? You made it clear that you were using magic as a crutch. Magic tends to work as a neon sign. What you write in neon is up to you.

Dan-
Thanks for your confession here. Let me answer it and give you a different perspective or two...
This problem will probably happen to you a number of times again without fail. I would have encouraged you at the time to go on. If it were me in your shoes I would have shown the most indifference I could muster and done another effect or in my case 100 more!... the distance between the one she hurt you on and the last one should be far enough so that the reveal does not matter. Again I handle it by total indifference. I think we are there to entertain not so much to fool people and if subsequent effect(s) bring a good reaction then the problem area might be easily forgotten. My biggest problem is that I perform too fast so if this were to have happened to me I would have been 8 tricks down the line in another 2 minutes anyway.
I wanted to take this opportunity to suggest one other perspective too. I hope I might get some feedback on this from our other members here. I think it is reasonable to expect that in every performance you can expect something to go wrong. With that expectation in my head (and I might exaggerate a bit here for effect) I rather look for it as a challenge on how to get out of it successfully. I think with experience we all have come to regard our work here as possibly hazardous!!! but I look to the challenge of overcoming such unexpected obstacles rather than fear it. I know this is a bit high level and maybe awkward to bring out but I am suggesting that if you look to the next performance and something like this happens you will be armed and ready and might even turn it somehow into an advantage at least not view it with such trepidation. I think our defenses go far beyond the trick's method. I hope you might consider less of an adversary relationship with the audience and less of a confrontational expectation and more of simply a challenge... a challenge of what you might encounter that you can easily and successfully overcome.

I guess this is years of experience talking here but what I might say briefly is that such incidents at some point might just make your experience more exciting for you than expectedly routine and in the end successful.


Marty Shapiro
Greenville, Sc

There are people out there, whether magic is involved or not - who will simply do insane & rude things. I had a guy push me on the ground once with no provocation from my end whatsoever (there was no magic involved...). He broke my wrist. I then had a friend who said, "well you must have done something - it was your fault" - I had not done a single thing to the guy - period. It was his baggage that caused the problem. Perhaps it was something similar with this woman - maybe she'd been embarrased by a really bad magician in the past. Maybe she was just a jerk. Who knows -only those who were there.

It is possible, as Jon says above, that maybe you provoked her somehow. Do you think you did? What was your approach?

I think if you knew she was a jerk in advance, then there was no real point in trying to perform for her. Sort of like trying to make friends with a guy who's saying he'll kick anyone's butt who talks to him. I have a friend who simply will not allow himself to enjoy anything magical - so I don't perform for him. He has set it up in such a way that he feels stupid if he's "fooled", and I have taken measures to NEVER put anyone in that position. He doesn't like magic - I've learned that the hard way, but now that I know it, I won't bother him anymore, because to him, that's what it is - bothersome.

I'm also not sure where the poster said he'd used magic as a crutch - and I tried to read between the lines. He simply said that he was trying to get over nervousness by performing for one person. That's what the books tell us to do - to practice hard, and then perform.

I have always said that if a person decides that they want to be a total *&^% about it, NO magician out there could fool them, or maintain "audience management". If a person truly decides that they're NOT going to participate, and they're stubborn about it, you cannot convince them otherwise.

Dan,

Yes that is pretty extreame. It involves two things, her familiarity with you broke down some boundries of personal space and some people react funny to magic. There could be additional factors such as your age, social skills, your relationship to her, and situational conditions we have no way of being aware of. Were you presenting it as "I am smarter than you." As such, we can't comment accurately on her specific motivation. Maybe you were hitting on her too hard or she was trying to say stop the magic and make mad monkey love to me.

Seriously, if you are normally on good terms you might ask her why she reacted the way she did. Otherwise, chalk it up to one of those things and try to prepare for the future by analyizing the situation, fixing what you can and preping some outs as recommended.

Kirk

With experience, you will learn as others before me have said. There are a lot of -----out there. Learn the warning signs & stay away from these people. You cannot win with one of these jerks. If they start with you, finish the trick you are doing (or don't) & walk away. You just can't win with this type of spectator.

I had one that was so bad, I decided to not perform any more for his table. He was impossible. When I left the venue, he followed me out & tried to put his hands in my pockets. I gave him only one warning. I told him the show was over & if he touched me again I would consider it an assault & would call the police & press charges. That was the only thing that worked with this ------.

Thanks for the encouraging responses!

First let me address Jonathan since he has a different take on it. There was NO provoking from my end. She likes magic and watched another co-worker of mine perform card magic for over an hour (about month ago) and was interested in seeing my coin magic at some point. With every small routine of vanishes and productions, her eyes widened and she became very, very excited, like a kid - so much so, she morphed into the appropriately named JERK RESPONSE. She probably thought what she did was funny - but it was rude. Also, no crutch - I just want to keep practicing in a variety of situations to overcome my nervousness. Isn't that what one does?

Larry, I believe that you are right. Performing for friends and family IS different. My hands tend to shake when performing for those that I know and opinions that I care about. With strangers, I'm not as nervous since I won't see them again. Since she sees me in the halls, maybe she felt that she can invade my personal space. I will keep that in mind for future situations.

Marty, I like your take charge of the challenge attitude. Next time, (if and when there's a next time), I'll have a one liner ready to go and pick up without a beat.

T. Joseph - your points well taken. If someone doesn't like magic, don't perform for them. My office mate doesn't like magic because he hates to be fooled. I have and never will, perform coin magic for him.

Thanks for sharing your experiences and advice.

Dan

Kirk, your response KILLED me. ;-) I barely know her - but eventually, I will ask her why she did what she did. The monkey love part <insert a Homer Simpson shudder>.

Thanks Allan - I feel that you are right on the mark with this.

Dan

Okay, bravo, that is an impressive accomplishment. Also good observation on your side.

When you elicit that inner child, how would you like them to respond? When you have their eyes all wide open, their ears and mind are likewise open. Going even further back, if you take them to a place that is like a cat, and you tease them with a string, they will swipe. Very primal places there. Really up to you to guide the audience.

Although we may never know, it's entirely possible she had no idea that she would ruin the trick by tapping your hands. Since she did enjoy someone else's magic, I think we can assume she is not one of the feared "total jerks" we have all encountered once in a while. Anyway, I agree, just chalk it up to experience and move on.

BTW, when someone tries to touch my stuff, I say "Hey, I don't touch your props, don't touch mine!" and that usually solves the problem. With good audience management, people should not be grabbing for things unless they are jerks, in which case nothing helps anyway, as others have noted. SETH

Seth, do you know whose line that is? I heard it decades ago and thought it was "community property" but I'm unaware of its exact origin. It's a great line if delivered properly. By the way, the way I heard it is only slightly different but I think stronger, "Hey, I (emphasize "I" ) don't touch your props, you (emphasize "you") don't touch mine."

Larry, I have no idea whose line that is, I also heard it somewhere but don't remember where! I'm sure there are plenty of variations on it, too, as you have noted; you may be right, your version may be a little better.

And I also agree that it needs to be delivered properly -- preferably with a smile and the right disarming inflection. Otherwise, you're just pouring the proverbial gasoline on the proverbial fire. SETH

Very good advice above, Dan. I can't add much to that...

But it all comes down to RESPECT. I read a person very thoroughly before I perform these days. If I detect ANY wise-acre, "dissy" attitude, I will not perform. Period. Politeness rules with me. If they approach me with a humble spirit, or, someone else "sets me up" (best, IMO), and I detect interest...I'll perform. How LONG I perform, depends on reaction.

Ending early, when they want to see more, has always worked best for me. The temptation to over-perform can be overwhelming, especially when you're on a roll. I try not to perform "on the spot", uninvited. That's where I've gotten into trouble, people getting grabby, insulting, revealing the effects, and the "familiarity" issue. I've always believed, that no matter how long you've known somebody, they deserve the same respect as when you met them.

Sometimes by simply knowing you, it can give the false impression to them, that they can treat you as they please. Not good. I walk away from more performing opportunities than I ever have, due to my tenatiousness. Some stuff is just too good to let them ruin. So, I amuse myself in front of the mirror, until the day someone is deserving. Then, and only then will they see my treasured work.

I find that more and more, rudeness is the norm, put-downs are thrown about...and even in jest, it hurts. I do not, nor have I ever used put-downs or "dissed" someone for fun. Even though it's just "funnin'", it leaves a sour taste in my mouth. You'll hear people say, after I leave, "Jeez...the guy can't take a joke"!
Not when he's just revealed my pet shell coins across, by tipping the gaff...!

Doug