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WhiteAngel
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West Virginia, USA
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I'm looking for funny similies, such as one I saw on here saying "that dissapeared faster than a fart in a hurricane" that could be used to describe magical things, like vanished, productions, etc.
True illusionists strive to decieve the eye AND the mind.....
Al Angello
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Collegeville, Pa. USA
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I'm not sure what funny similies are, but I'll give it a try "I can see you are too stunned to applaude", "oh great another all Amish audience". I hope that was a similie, if you have heard these before I will admit I stole them from Gazzo.
Al
Al Angello The Comic Juggler/Magician
http://www.juggleral.com
http://home.comcast.net/~juggleral/
"Footprints on your ceiling are almost gone"
felix501
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Lewes, England
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A simile is a phrase that compares one thing to another, usually using the word 'as'

e.g. 'this coin is as visible as a president in a disaster zone'.

Incidentally white angel, this one might play metter in Tennessee than the one about hurricanes and farts Smile

Felix
Al Angello
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Felix
Thank you for the clarification, I only speak American. How about "I'm as bussy as a one armed juggler", "as entertaining as Dolly Parton on a trampoline", "I feel like a one legged man in a butt kicking contest". I guess my previous suggestions were just sarcastic comments, but much funnier than a silly old simile.
Al
Al Angello The Comic Juggler/Magician
http://www.juggleral.com
http://home.comcast.net/~juggleral/
"Footprints on your ceiling are almost gone"
Bill Ligon
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A sure sign of a misspent youth:
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Man! That billiard ball is as slippery as snot on a china doorknob!
Author of THE HOLY ART: Bizarre Magick From Naljorpa's Cave. NOW IN HARDCOVER! VIEW: <BR>www.lulu.com/content/1399405 ORDER: http://stores.lulu.com/naljorpa
<BR>A TASSEL ON THE LUNATIC FRINGE
Al Angello
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Collegeville, Pa. USA
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As nerves as a long tailed cat in a room full of rockers.
Al
Al Angello The Comic Juggler/Magician
http://www.juggleral.com
http://home.comcast.net/~juggleral/
"Footprints on your ceiling are almost gone"
WhiteAngel
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West Virginia, USA
269 Posts

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Quote:
On 2005-09-13 15:40, juggleral wrote:
Felix
Thank you for the clarification, I only speak American. How about "I'm as bussy as a one armed juggler", "as entertaining as Dolly Parton on a trampoline", "I feel like a one legged man in a butt kicking contest". I guess my previous suggestions were just sarcastic comments, but much funnier than a silly old simile.
Al


Those are exactly what I am refering to, except applying them to something to do with magic.

Such as "That coin vanished faster than a Ethiopian chasing a meatball down a hill."

for no applause "I've heard louder mimes"

"That coin appeared faster than Monica hearing the word cigar"

Disclaimer: I have nothing against Ethiopians, mimes, or Monica
True illusionists strive to decieve the eye AND the mind.....
Al Angello
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Collegeville, Pa. USA
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WhiteAngel
With all due respect, if you are striveing for laughs similies will only get you groans, or peolpe rolling their eyes and looking for the door. I recomend you learn some corney one liners, because they sound spontaneous rather than scripted, with the provision that you are able to tell a joke. "Did you hear about that new French restaurant on the Moon, great food, but no atmosphere", "last weekend I went out and bought a hide a bed, I put it away, and now I can't find it" they are examples of a corny joke that always gets me laughs.
Al
Al Angello The Comic Juggler/Magician
http://www.juggleral.com
http://home.comcast.net/~juggleral/
"Footprints on your ceiling are almost gone"
Bill Ligon
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I had to laugh at both of them, Juggleral, but the French restaurant on the moon was priceless!

Not to mention the image conjured up by the long-tailed cat in the room full of rockers!
Author of THE HOLY ART: Bizarre Magick From Naljorpa's Cave. NOW IN HARDCOVER! VIEW: <BR>www.lulu.com/content/1399405 ORDER: http://stores.lulu.com/naljorpa
<BR>A TASSEL ON THE LUNATIC FRINGE
WhiteAngel
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West Virginia, USA
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Oh, these are for general laughs, and I promise, I wouldn't use these in a routine...sometimes though when I am around friends, we crack our selves up with cheesy lines, such as these. My favorite is to use them in a store to a cashier, knowing that it isn't really that funny, and try to act as if it is, just for the laughs afterwards. (i know this might seem odd, but we are deeply rooted in sociological and psychological studies, and tend to find humor in people's reactions...) But as for applying them to magical purposes, I thought it would just be a fun, simple challenge, and provide amusement. I'm hoping it would be more entertaining than Dolly Parton on a trampoline!
True illusionists strive to decieve the eye AND the mind.....
Lyndel
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wrote the theme to the TV show COPS!
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Check this site for lots of these type similies. Plus, they are categorized:

http://www.women-outdoors.com/traditiona......ings.htm

Lyndel
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jkvand
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Johnstown, PA
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Quote:
On 2005-09-14 12:28, juggleral wrote:
WhiteAngel
With all due respect, if you are striveing for laughs similies will only get you groans, or peolpe rolling their eyes and looking for the door. I recomend you learn some corney one liners, because they sound spontaneous rather than scripted, with the provision that you are able to tell a joke. "Did you hear about that new French restaurant on the Moon, great food, but no atmosphere", "last weekend I went out and bought a hide a bed, I put it away, and now I can't find it" they are examples of a corny joke that always gets me laughs.


I disagree that similies can't get genuine laughter, and that they will have people groaning and looking for the door. It depends on your style and how well you use them. Larry the Cable Guy uses them in his act, and believe me, they get a lot of laughs. It is well to remember that there is never a 'one size fits all' approach to comedy, and what works (or doesn't work) for one person is probably going to be entirely different from one type of performer to another. If similies work for you, use them and use them well! Especially when you can use them in reference to current events, because that helps your show to look more spontaneous and up to date, and less canned.

Jeff
Lyndel
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wrote the theme to the TV show COPS!
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Jkvand,

This is for you:

:applause:

Well said!


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Al Angello
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Collegeville, Pa. USA
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Jeff
Abbott and Costello used contradiction humor, Charlie Chaplan used physical humor, Groucho Marx used irany humore, Soupy Sales used pie in the face humor, I use corny one liner humor. Please feel free to find a source of humor that fits you best.
Al
Al Angello The Comic Juggler/Magician
http://www.juggleral.com
http://home.comcast.net/~juggleral/
"Footprints on your ceiling are almost gone"
WhiteAngel
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West Virginia, USA
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Yes, different strokes for different folks. All due respect, I made this topic to come up with one liners, not discuss their appropriateness. That would be as useful as a one armed man in a clapping contest, so I need that like I need another hole in my head. Please stick to just one liners like white on a paper plate, rice, and a snowstorm. Thanks!
True illusionists strive to decieve the eye AND the mind.....
Jerrine
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Busking is work.
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_______ disappeared faster than a Cowboy lead in the 4th quarter.
Lyndel
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wrote the theme to the TV show COPS!
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Easy there Jerrine...

There's Cowboy fans on this board that won't take kindly to those sort of statements. In fact they'll beat you like a rug faster than Lance Armstrong on a ten speed! Smile

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Al Angello
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Collegeville, Pa. USA
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That is as funny as a Cowboy fan from Florida.
Al
Al Angello The Comic Juggler/Magician
http://www.juggleral.com
http://home.comcast.net/~juggleral/
"Footprints on your ceiling are almost gone"
Jerrine
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Busking is work.
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Cowboy fan since birth...1960. We are the same year model. I was born just in time for the first game. I bleed Cowboy blue. I'm as true as an oath in church.
Trois
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Myrtle Beach
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The Redskins made the Cowboys Blue!! Is that one ?
Not clever enough to come up with something orginal, or did I.
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