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Jerrine
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Busking is work.
629 Posts

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No, it isn't. The Redskins pulled it out faster than a teenager in the backseat, is.
Johnnie Blaze
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204 Posts

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Wow!!! I'm sweating like lyle menendez at a family re-union
Amazing Dick
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59 Posts

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"Its hotter than a fox in a forest fire"
Peace Out !
Amazing Dick
Al Angello
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Eternal Order
Collegeville, Pa. USA
11047 Posts

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As cool as David Akers with a pulled hamstring.
Al
Al Angello The Comic Juggler/Magician
http://www.juggleral.com
http://home.comcast.net/~juggleral/
"Footprints on your ceiling are almost gone"
WhiteAngel
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West Virginia, USA
269 Posts

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Quote:
On 2005-09-21 17:46, Jerrine wrote:
No, it isn't. The Redskins pulled it out faster than a teenager in the backseat, is.


I choked on my drink when I read that one.
True illusionists strive to decieve the eye AND the mind.....
WhiteAngel
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West Virginia, USA
269 Posts

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Sucks worse than a vacuum.

Bites worse than Bobbit....
True illusionists strive to decieve the eye AND the mind.....
magicalaurie
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Inner circle
Ontario, Canada
2822 Posts

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Please note: A simile should use the words like or as. For example:

Green as a grasshopper. Smile
"Every thought you think, word you speak, and action you take proceeds from either love or fear. Peace and upset, innocence and guilt, healing and illness all spring from that one fundamental choice." Alan Cohen
https://magicalaurieblog.wordpress.com/
Jerrine
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Busking is work.
629 Posts

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After further research I sit corrected.

The Redskins pulled it out quick, like a teenager in the backseat on a Friday night.
Jonton
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New York City
336 Posts

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My friend uses these a lot after talking to friends in the hall and he has to go to class:

I'm gonna make like a magician and POOF! (or disappear)
I'm gonna make like a bananna and SPLIT!
I'm gonna make like a pothead and blow this joint!

Enjoy...
~Jonton
I Came, I Saw, I Conjured
www.jontaylornyc.com
magicalaurie
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Ontario, Canada
2822 Posts

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Liked those, Jonton. Smile
"Every thought you think, word you speak, and action you take proceeds from either love or fear. Peace and upset, innocence and guilt, healing and illness all spring from that one fundamental choice." Alan Cohen
https://magicalaurieblog.wordpress.com/
Al Angello
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Eternal Order
Collegeville, Pa. USA
11047 Posts

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As cool as Donovan McNabb when he's playing injured.
Al
Al Angello The Comic Juggler/Magician
http://www.juggleral.com
http://home.comcast.net/~juggleral/
"Footprints on your ceiling are almost gone"
Jerrine
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Busking is work.
629 Posts

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As shaky as a disco dancer in an earthquake.
Popo
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Valparaiso, IN
219 Posts

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He was so fat he had more chins than a chinese phone book.
ClintonMagus
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Southwestern Southeast
3999 Posts

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He was dumber than a bucket of hair.

Amos McCormick
Things are more like they are today than they've ever been before...
Moyle with Parkinsons
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Australia
281 Posts

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Round my way we use some of these

Dry as a dead dingos donger
As welcome as a fart in a spacesuit
Going off like a frog in a sock
Cold as a Nun's bed

Hope none of them offend sorry if they do. Call it dry aussie humour. At least I left all the really bad ones out!

Moyle
"Signatures cause far too much trouble!" an original quote by Moyle With Parkinsons.
Moyle with Parkinsons
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Australia
281 Posts

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Oh and

He was ugly as a bucket full of bums
He was ugle as a bucket full of smashed crabs
He had a head like a dropped pie
"Signatures cause far too much trouble!" an original quote by Moyle With Parkinsons.
thecardtrick
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Northern NJ
72 Posts

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Ma'am, please focus on your card. Last time I tried this with a gentleman who was distracted by blonde walking by and, needless to say, my telepathy was about as accurate as Dick Cheney with a pellet gun.


Obviously hunting accidents aren't really funny and I'm not being political. I just tried to think of a simile that might amuse certain audiences and this is what came to mind.
Andini
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Columbus, OH
685 Posts

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That joke's funnier than a horse on tuesday.

Your hat's bigger than a horse on tuesday.

This pasta tastes better than a horse on tuesday.

A while ago, I wanted to use funny similies, but I soon realized that I could never think of any on the spot, so for whatever reason, "horse on tuesday" became my default. It's not really funny, but I say it anyway. I guess the only funny thing about it is that it doesn't make any sense.
thecardtrick
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Northern NJ
72 Posts

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Your similes make me laugh like a horse on Tuesday.
Lee Darrow
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V.I.P.
Chicago, IL USA
3588 Posts

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That coin spins faster than Karl Rove trying to cover Dick Cheney's marksmanship!

That card flipped faster than a Democrat caught in a disagreement. (note I am NOT taking sides here - guess which party I belong to - the DRINKING party!)

His card vanished faster than a mobile home in a tornado ... or in a redneck divorce!

Lee Darrow, C.H.
http://www.leedarrow.com
<BR>"Because NICE Matters!"
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