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The Magic Cafe Forum Index » » Now that’s funny! » » One-liners for palm reading (0 Likes) Printer Friendly Version

Daryl -the other brother
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Chicago
594 Posts

Profile of Daryl -the other brother
I would like to add a comedy palm reading routine to a costume party show I will be doing this Halloween. This will be played strickly for humor with no intentions on serious reading. I'm looking for some funny one-liners IE: This is your lifeline...well...enjoy the summer. Heard any good ones? Smile
The Donster
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Inner circle
4817 Posts

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Heres a Old One. ask someone if they'll like their Palm Read ( Red ) when they say Yes hold their hand and pull out a bucket of Red Paint. and proceed to paint their palm Red. a water paint works best for this as well as a Stooge. regular people don't see the humor in it. Don,
KyletheGreat
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Georgia
560 Posts

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You have an amazing life line...unfortunatly...it is on the wrong hand...

I am going to read your palm...let me see your hand (hold hand and look at it) No, let me see the clean one! (throw that hand down and grab the other and look at it) ...that was the clean one!( throw that hand down and grab the previous hand)

This is the life line, it tells how long and prosperous your life is...and this is the clothes line...it tells us how much clothes you have...wow...your closet must be overflowing!

After the routine talk about how much you enjoy your job because you always get to hold an attractive young ladie's hand that you have never met before and not come across as a creep.
Kyle Jarrard
"Entertainment at its Best"

http://www.kylesmagic.com
http://www.hypnobilly.com
Weatherbee
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Lakeland, Central FL
21 Posts

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Look at the palm and say, "I have some good news and bad news. The bad news is that I see in the past you have had heartache, misery and woe. The present is filled with misery and woe, and your future is filled with heartache, misery and woe. The good news is that you have a very long life line"
NJJ
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6439 Posts

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YOU "I can see by your palm that you are lonely and have not had a girlfriend in many, many years."

HIM "From my loveline?"

YOU "No...from the callesous."
Brian Turntime
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671 Posts

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LOL to all of these Smile
------

Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died. - Steven Wright
Ireland
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Regina, Sask. Canada
217 Posts

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"Are you right-handed?....Lefties have rights too."
Ireland
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Loyal user
Regina, Sask. Canada
217 Posts

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"Are you right-handed?....Lefties have rights too."
Chris Becker
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New York, NY
371 Posts

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Quote:
On 2005-09-20 19:41, Weatherbee wrote:
Look at the palm and say, "I have some good news and bad news. The bad news is that I see in the past you have had heartache, misery and woe. The present is filled with misery and woe, and your future is filled with heartache, misery and woe. The good news is that you have a very long life line"


LOL, priceless!
- - -
<BR>Cards don't cheat people. People cheat people.
RickVancouver
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Vancouver, BC
692 Posts

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"Hmmm... you have some interesting lines here... Oh, here's a great line right over here... Say, would you like your palm read?... er, sorry... that's one of my lines."

Rick
www.vancouvermagic.com
Great minds discuss ideas. Average minds discuss events. Small minds discuss people.
Lyndel
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Inner circle
wrote the theme to the TV show COPS!
1623 Posts

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Wow, you have a very long life line! ...Oh wait, that's just dirt...

Ah, an impressive love line! I can tell that you are truly a man of passion. Your relationship line is very strong. It looks like you'll continue to have a great love life for many years. ...And if your wife finds out, she's gonna kill ya!

If it's a guy, take out a pocket comb and pretend to part the hair to see their lines.


Lyndel



Lyndel
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mrmystic
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Regular user
Chicago
200 Posts

Profile of mrmystic
I just read palms now. I used to do tarot card reading, but not anymore. The last time I used them we played a game of poker with them. I got a full house and three people died.
Lee Darrow
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V.I.P.
Chicago, IL USA
3588 Posts

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That's funny, the last time I saw a head line like that, it was on the Chicago Tribune... you might have seen it - DEWEY WINS!

Your heart line is broken in several places - that means that you either will have several failed relationships or that you have several hearts, Mr. Spock...

Well, the first thing that comes to mind when I look at your palm is .... soap.... lots and lots of soap .... and hot water... and maybe some disinfectant...

Or, my favorite is to look at the hand intently for a second. Look closer. Pull out a magnifying glass with a growing expression of alarm and suddenly bolt from the room, screaming in panic! (courtesy of Don Martin at Mad Magazine)

Lee Darrow, C.H.
http://www.leedarrow.com
<BR>"Because NICE Matters!"
Wolflock
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South Africa
2257 Posts

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My favourite was a line my father used on me once.

Find out the spectator's Name (MUST BE A MALE and Single): Jeff Smith

Tell them that you will try to see from their palm as to what their future wife's name will be. After inspecting, turning over, inspecting, etc. Tell them, "Your future wifes name will be...Mrs Smith.

Regards
Wolflock
Wolflock
Pro Magician & Escapologist
Member of JMC (Johannesburg Magic Circle)
South Africa
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