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snarfer New user Venezuela 53 Posts |
Hi guys, I was wondering if this has happened to any of you... I´ve been into magic for about a year and a half now, and I have this friend who just leaves the room anytime I start performing, I mean he just hates it, I really don´t understand why, and starts making fun of me anytime anyone says how good any effect I performed for them was...The thing is he is a really close friend of mine, have you ever seen anyone with such an attitude towards magic?? should I just ignore him?? thanks a lot for your answers, best wishes,
Andres PD: sorry about my english, as I´m from venezuela... |
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DaveM Special user Germany 788 Posts |
As hard as it may be for some "performers" to accept, not everyone cares about magic.
I have friends that absolutely HATE magic, so I simply don't force it on them. I would never let something as trivial as a hobby come between friends.....but that's just me. Dave |
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Nash Inner circle Hong Kong ~ USA 1101 Posts |
Dude if your 'close' friend cannot even accept your passion... then how good of a friend is he anyway?
I teach leaders the magic of curiosity and empathetic communication. keynote Speaker | Seattle magician
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Cory Gallupe Inner circle Nova Scotia, Canada 1272 Posts |
I would say just don't do it to him, altho you never said you did so... But my brothers used to love my magic, then I would practice on them, and now, a few years later, they hate me doin magic, my littlest brother wants to become a magican but does not have the patience or will to practice and become good. by the way, your english was excellent!
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snarfer New user Venezuela 53 Posts |
Nash, that´s the problem, I think he doesn´t even understand how much of a passion magic can be, but that´s why I posted this anyway... I guess he just thinks all I can do is 21 card counting tricks... As he has never even cared to watch... Thanks a lot for your replies so far guys!!
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Alewishus Inner circle parts unknown 1226 Posts |
You know, a friend doesn't necessarily have to share your passion.
A.
Sack subs, ok Ross?
We miss you asper. |
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Cory Gallupe Inner circle Nova Scotia, Canada 1272 Posts |
True, very well said. But it is kinda akward that he wont even dare to watch. not even care to see one trick to see how good you are. weird.
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KirkG Inner circle 1391 Posts |
Maybe he thinks you are in league with the devil and is worried for your soul.
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acehigher Regular user 150 Posts |
Lol yeah he's probably tryin to tell you something, No I'm just joking, my friends are the same, I never knew why either so I stopped proforming for my them unless they ask. You will start to improve when you stop doing tricks for friends and start doing them for peole you don't know.
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evolve629 Inner circle A stack of 3838 Posts |
Perhaps you need some improvement or perhaps you are good at magic. At any rate, a friend does not leave the room while you try to practice or perform. But we don't know what your friend has recently gone thru with stuff of life - perhaps he just want to have a good communication or just hang out without talk. So is all about mutual respect and letting our friends be the star and visa versa.
One hundred percent of the shots you don't take don't go in - Wayne Gretzky
My favorite part is putting the gaffs in the spectators hands...it gives you that warm fuzzy feeling inside! - Bob Kohler |
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Alan Munro Inner circle Kentwood, Michigan, USA 5952 Posts |
I avoid people who don't like magic. People with "issues" tend to make everyone uncomfortable, except for other people who have "issues".
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asper Veteran user 364 Posts |
Perhaps he doesn't enjoy magic, or being decevied, or not knowing how it works. I have a friend who plays jazz. I hate jazz. But we're still friends.
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carbone1853 Loyal user RI USA 239 Posts |
Snarfer, don’t worry about it. If he doesn’t like it he doesn’t like it. You are unlikely to change his mind. Save your magic for when you’re around people who like it. Look at it this way if your friend liked fishing and you hated it you probably would not go fishing together, not matter how good a fisherman he was.
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MagikDavid Loyal user Cincinnati, OH 297 Posts |
Snarfer,
Maybe your friend feels left out of the spotlight. Maybe he resents the attention that you get. Would it be possible to involve him somehow in your performance? Maybe he could be a plant or stooge. Just a thought. Dave
One good thing about being wrong...
Is the pleasure it brings to others. |
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Josh Riel Inner circle of hell 1995 Posts |
I almost agree with the above posts. Perhaps it isn't just the magic he doesn't like. Maybe it is the attention he is without that he has a problem with. If he makes fun of you for doing something you love, why? If it is for simplistic reasons, will he change? If he chooses not to, can he be disregarded? What kind of friend does not allow you to be happy? The only answer I have is a friend that would be (in my life) easily removed from association. Put him on trial, do not allow yourself to be. If you are not forcing him to partake in the experience, what cause does he have to be destructive to your pleasure? none at all. If you are making life an interminable bore for everyone and he is simply the only one who is saying it, well that changes everything. The only answer tho that is to get better.
Altesheth
Magic is doing improbable things with odd items that, under normal circumstances, would be unnessecary and quite often undesirable.
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Alewishus Inner circle parts unknown 1226 Posts |
Cut your friend some slack - it's not about you.
If you had a friend that was claustrophobic and you were a coal miner, would you regal him with stories of the times when you hit the pocket of methane and were trapped for weeks in total darkness? No. Suck it up and be a friend. If it really hurts you so bad that you can't do that then may I suggest you start watching the Oprah Whimphry show. A.
Sack subs, ok Ross?
We miss you asper. |
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kramerica2010 Veteran user 329 Posts |
Whoa whoa Nash, Are you seriously saying that you would have magic instead of friends? Do as DaveM would do and don't force it on them. I have that problem to and I try not to push it on them
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MField2000 Special user Hastings, East Sussex, England 590 Posts |
Some people dislike magic because they feel it is a puzzle and they don't want to have to admit that they don't know the answer. To them, being fooled is an admission of their weakness (or stupidity). Wesley James has written about this in his small book "Stop Being Fooled."
And, as mentioned above, some people don't like others being in the spotlight. It is a challenge, which some might not wish to accept, to find presentations to defuse these situations. Harold Cataquet wrote in the August Genii Magazine about a newbie on a train, whom Harold didn't know, who was just itching to show Harold a trick. But Harold was busy with work and the guy wouldn't let him alone; sometimes an overly-enthusiastic "Let me show you a trick" can be off-putting. And, as mentioned above, some people just don't like magic and, hey, they are probably otherwise nice people. Some people don't like country and western music (me, for example) and I'm not so bad, once you get to know me. Engage them in other ways. Matt Field |
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scorch Inner circle 1480 Posts |
I think that if the two of you were real friends, you wouldn't hesitate to ask HIM why he reacts that way, instead of coming on this board for advice first. A little communication goes a long way.
Maybe you should call him up, ask him what his concerns are, and then be gracious in your response to him. If he just doesn't like magic, that's all good and well. Should a friend give up on you because you might not like watching football on the television and leave the room every time it's on? Try to understand his position from HIS point of view, and don't try to convince him he's "wrong." That's what a real friend would do. Actually this could be a good lesson for you. Most people, while liking magic, don't have a passion for it and don't like watching it over and over every time you learn a new routine. Take a hint from Roberto Giobbi, who recommends NOT performing for people unless they are really asking you, begging you to do something. And when you do it, make it a real occasion. Throw a dinner party for some friends, and invite a couple other magician friends to come along. Do a real routine that you've worked on and perfected. That will get your magic a lot more respect from your friends if you do that once or twice a year, than if you go sticking a deck of cards in their face every other day just to show off. |
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tommy Eternal Order Devil's Island 16544 Posts |
I have a friend like that. I have been with her 30 years but she is starting to get to me, she would not pick a card before breakfast this morning.
If there is a single truth about Magic, it is that nothing on earth so efficiently evades it.
Tommy |
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