The Magic Café
Username:
Password:
[ Lost Password ]
  [ Forgot Username ]
The Magic Cafe Forum Index » » Now that’s funny! » » Guillotine Jokes... (0 Likes) Printer Friendly Version

 Go to page [Previous]  1~2
Magicrma
View Profile
Regular user
Arizona
101 Posts

Profile of Magicrma
If your victim can ask them to reach around and grab their ears. Just so their head doesn't bounce to many time. Smile
"The art of Illusion is at least 95% applied psychology" Henning Nelms (Magic & Showmanship)
<BR>
<BR>MagicRMA
<BR>Majicrma@msn.com
duckster
View Profile
New user
Texas
76 Posts

Profile of duckster
Grab a set of instructions. The Cover of which says "Guilotines for Dummies"

Read thru it quickly,
"You can push the blade down as hard as you wish with out hurting your victim, BUT be sure to first..."

suddenly the pages of the book burst into flames.

"WOW - so much for the directions - don't worry I THINK I got it..."
Stick Man
View Profile
Regular user
UK
178 Posts

Profile of Stick Man
I saw the one about the head rolling out of a basket when I was about 7. It was great! He went to put on his apron that was covered in blood and when he realised, he started making excuses about making pizza the night before, it was all very funny. Smile
MOTO42
View Profile
Loyal user
Whitehouse Texas
225 Posts

Profile of MOTO42
Almost any line will have an inappropriate audience, knowing when not to say something should be a basic survival instinct of any performer.
The Amazing Jonathan used that line in a room full of adults.
"One man's miracle is another man's warm-up"
Dennis Michael
View Profile
Inner circle
Southern, NJ
6018 Posts

Profile of Dennis Michael
Check out the numerous one liners and chopper routine outline I developed for the head chopper. Much of which can be converted to any guillotine routine:

Richbark Simplex Head Chopper Routine and Gags
Dennis Michael
Andy Wonder
View Profile
Special user
Auckland, New Zealand
747 Posts

Profile of Andy Wonder
Where can I get a fake head? Smile
Andy Wonder, Auckland, New Zealand
DonDriver
View Profile
Inner circle
1792 Posts

Profile of DonDriver
Hey Andrew,
Go to http://www.eddiestrickshop.com
Click on Hallween, than body parts, They are going to charge you "an arm and a leg" he he he, (had to add that) Hope this Helped.

Have a Good Weekend,
Don
duckster
View Profile
New user
Texas
76 Posts

Profile of duckster
"John do you have any last requests?"

He reads a sign in the basket that says..

say this for your last request...
"I GOT TO GO TO THE BATHROOM!"

Huge laugh -I love cueing the guy on stage - the laugh is always bigger than anything you can say, and the guy ends up being the star.

I wanted to revive this thread because it has turned into a good one!
MOTO42
View Profile
Loyal user
Whitehouse Texas
225 Posts

Profile of MOTO42
The first time I did this, we were all amazed.
Except for the inmate, he just wanted a new pair of pants.
"One man's miracle is another man's warm-up"
ludmer
View Profile
New user
Brazil
59 Posts

Profile of ludmer
The Guillotine is on stage covered by a large, bright and glittering cloth. "Ladies and gentlemen. Here I have a new trick, as astonishing as Houdini Scapes, and Copperfield flyng stuff. It´s a new trick, i´ve never performed it before! Any Volunteer?" When 'John'comes on stage, you reveal what´s under the cloth (The Guillotine, Ooooh! Smile ). When he realizes about the guillotine you say: "Well actually it´s not quite new in my shows, I just had 2 mistakes with that. Hopefully today is the 3rd time I perform it!"
I trust jewish magicians and bagels
avimagic
View Profile
Loyal user
Hollywood, Florida
233 Posts

Profile of avimagic
I'm kinda new to this forum, so I'm just seeing this topic for the first time.

One line I have that always kills-- er, gets laughs... The bucket is under "John's" head, and I have just stopped the action yet again to remove the head. I then ask him, "Are you scared, John?" Pause for his answer... "Because if you are I could move this back here!" as I grab the bucket and put it behind his rear end.

And the crowd goes wild!
Reg Rozee
View Profile
Special user
Vancouver, Canada
592 Posts

Profile of Reg Rozee
"You haven't done this before John, have you..." <No> "Know how I can tell?" Smile and wait a bit, and then make a few actions like tapping your head and shoulders indicating they are still together, followed by a nod and a wink. If he answers <yes>, say "Not with me! Know how I can tell?" and make the same motions.

"What's your hat size, John? This bucket is only a 7 and a half..."

"Ever hear of a ten gallon hat, John?" Hold up the bucket. "This is more of a half-gallon hat!"

"The bottom of the bucket is a little hard, would you like a cushion in there?" Wait a bit, and laugh. "Ah, I'm just fooling with you. You aren't going to feel a thing by the time you hit the bottom!"

Bring out a wall mounting plaque like you would see a stag or moose head on, but with a big hole in the middle. Have a big strip of paper or tape you can write on across the top of it. "How do you spell your name again?" Write the name with a thick black marker across the top of the plaque, and set it down in view. "Just in case, that's all!"

-Reg {*}
Reality is what doesn't go away when you stop believing in it. -Phillip K. Dick



Who are you going to believe, me or your own eyes? -Chico Marx
Bill Palmer
View Profile
Eternal Order
Only Jonathan Townsend has more than
24279 Posts

Profile of Bill Palmer
I don't usually give out lines that I feel like I originated; however, since I probably won't be doing the guillotine any more, I'll give you two that I used with great success.

When I was performing at the Texas Renaissance Festival, I would cue the spectator to respond to one of the following lines:

Me "In case anything goes wrong, do you have any last words?"

Spectator: "LET THEM EAT CAKE!"

OR

Me:"Just in case there is an accident, what do you want on your Tombstone?"

Spectator:"Pepperoni and Cheese!"

I only did one of these lines. When the spectator answered, I would act as if I had NEVER heard the line before. I would break character completely and laugh almost uncontrollably, and so would my assistants!

It added to the success of the line.

I did this at a TAOM convention where Stan Allen was on the show. He asked me if I cued the kid to say the line. I told him, "Do you honestly think I would actually stoop to cueing a spectator, just so the biggest laugh in the show would occur in the same place, every time I presented the illusion?"
"The Swatter"

Founder of CODBAMMC

My Chickasaw name is "Throws Money at Cups."

www.cupsandballsmuseum.com
The Magic Cafe Forum Index » » Now that’s funny! » » Guillotine Jokes... (0 Likes)
 Go to page [Previous]  1~2
[ Top of Page ]
All content & postings Copyright © 2001-2021 Steve Brooks. All Rights Reserved.
This page was created in 0.13 seconds requiring 5 database queries.
The views and comments expressed on The Magic Café
are not necessarily those of The Magic Café, Steve Brooks, or Steve Brooks Magic.
> Privacy Statement <

ROTFL Billions and billions served! ROTFL