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The Magic Cafe Forum Index » » Food for thought » » Moments of humility (0 Likes) Printer Friendly Version

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Lee Darrow
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Chicago, IL USA
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Thanks, you just did it to me, right here. No joke.

I am not used to being complimented by other magicians, I guess.

Lee Darrow, C.H.
http://www.leedarrow.com
<BR>"Because NICE Matters!"
onebark
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Atlanta, GA
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Well, you are very welcome, Lee. I've never been complimented by a fellow magician, but then again I don't hang out with other magicians (maybe I should start? I'd probably be a lot better than I am!). But after seeing your website, you appear to have a great show!
Lee Darrow
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Thanks, Onebark. I was very fortunate to find a web designer who was able to do a great job of making me look good and a photographer who made me look 10 years younger than I am.

One of the great things about the Café' is that everyone has the opportuntiy to have their say (even if it doesn't last long because they do something that violates the rules) and to show who they are and what they're about.

And people who take the time to pass along a kind word to another are truly worthy people in my book!

Thanks, Bro!

Lee Darrow, C.H.
http://www.leedarrow.com
<BR>"Because NICE Matters!"
cataquet
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England
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Personally, I find it very hard to take compliments. So, whenever a magician gives me a compliment about a performance, I find it very hard to believe that the compliment is genuine. [Lee, I'm talking about my personal reaction, and not at all referring to your specific context] That is, most people just come up to you and automatically say "Great show! Loved the ..." regardless of what their actual feelings may be. Most of us do this automatically because we don't want to hurt the guy's feelings... Magic has a tendency to be sycophantic - you suck up to people, just so you can hang around them.

I am always looking to improve my performance, so I find criticism more valuable. When someone says "I didn't like..." or "But..." my ears and concentration focus on the words being said. As soon as I get a chance, I write down what was said, and try to replay in my mind the moment he was talking about. In fact, I tell all my magical friends to only tell me what they didn't like. Good criticism is incredibly hard to find.
Harold Cataquet
onebark
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You're welcome, Lee.

Cataquet, I know what you mean when you say its hard to take comliments. I am a performing musician and receiving praise was always very difficult. My turning point for accepting compliments came after listening to Chuck Swindol speak about humility, and he was adamant about always giving a simple gracious 'Thank you' and that's it. We sometimes feel the need to carry on the conversation with an awkward blah blah blah, when it is really up to the complimentor to continue on if they so choose. That's how you can sometimes tell if the compliment is truly genuine...if the person continues the conversation more specifically, then you know there was a REAL impact on them.

I often recommend to young men, as they are forming their opinions about manhood, that they find at least one or two people in thier lives that they trust enough to allow them to unabashedly criticize, without retribution or defense, thier actions or life decisions. I am fortunate to have a wife that will always tell it like it is, and I can now trust her to critique without me becoming too defensive. She is good at letting me know when my guitar was too soft or when she didn't like the way I handled the audience.

I am always in search of another person that I can trust enough to let into my 'Critic's Corner.'
cataquet
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That "Thank you" is really important. When someone gives you a compliment, you have to take it graciously and recognize the compliment, rather than dismiss it as an automatic gesture, or use it to leapfrog into a self-praising monologue. I make the distinction between the outward reaction to the compliment ("Thank you") and the inward reaction ("I messed up a few things").
Harold Cataquet
daffydoug
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Eternal Order
Look mom! I've got
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Jonathan, when I begin to get that "know it all feeling", I walk outside, gaze up at the vastness of the night stars on the canopy of the heavens, and humility flows as I realize that in the vast universe of knowledge, my knowledge is but a speck.
The difficult must become easy, the easy beautiful and the beautiful magical.
Al Schneider
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I believe that the vastness of the night stars on the canopy of the heavens was created for us. I believe that, even though we act like specks of sand.
Al Schneider
Magic Al. Say it fast and it is magical.
daffydoug
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Well, I'm not saying I am a speck personally, I am saying that my knowledge, considering the vastness of the knowledge in the universe, is miniscule.
The difficult must become easy, the easy beautiful and the beautiful magical.
Al Schneider
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I thought some more about this overnight.
I have often felt as you speak of.
However, I wonder. Is our knowledge but a speck?
We compare ourseleves to others.
Is this a good way to set our limits and determine our range?
Is there another measure?
So I went outside and looked at the sky.
I realized that I have the capability to see it and realize its immensity.
I have the capability to imagine what is beyond the other side of the stars we will never see. Is there anyone that can even measure this capability?
We do not know. (See saying below.)
This is not meant to belittle. This is meant with all sincerity.
Also, don't get the idea I am a new ager goody goody with star dust in my eyes.
I am not.
I was a kid once and filled with all kinds of stuff adults poured into my mind.
Now I am an old kid and I don't like a lot of that stuff. As I am older now I simply question where they got all this junk from.
Al
Magic Al. Say it fast and it is magical.
Jonathan Townsend
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Ossining, NY
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The tree outside my window has gone from green to orange
Suggesting a theme for a coin or card trick
Which even if successful
Will still pale before the sight of that one tree
...to all the coins I've dropped here
Bill Wells
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Lexington, VA
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Quote:
On 2005-10-10 16:33, Whit Haydn wrote:
Humility is an endless study:

"Wishing me like to one more rich in hope,
featured like him, like him with friends possessed.
Desiring this man's art and that man's scope--
with what I most enjoy contented least."

If Shakespeare felt that way, gee, it is almost hubris not to be depressed.


But the Bard had a time and place for most things...

"In peace there's nothing so becomes the man
As modest stillness and humility,
but when the blast of war blows in our ears
then imitate the action of the tiger
stiffen the sinews, summon up the blood.

King Henry V - Act 3 Scene 1


...but one of my favorites is a Henri Fredric Amiel quote -

"There is no respect for others without humility in one's self."


Finally, lest we get lose sight of the forest in all this...

"It ain't the heat, it's the humility."

Yogi Berra (who else??)
onebark
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Atlanta, GA
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I wonder, in regards to Mr. Schneider's post, as performers how do we come across to our audiences? As one who thinks he or she knows everything, or as one who knows how little he or she knows? Which would you rather be?
Jonathan Townsend
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Just when I thought I had an approach to intention...

http://ase.tufts.edu/cogstud/papers/intentio.htm

I must have missed a few milliseconds Smile
...to all the coins I've dropped here
onebark
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Wow, Jonathan. Was it your intention to confuse me?
ASW
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Ying tong ying tong ying tong ying tong yiddle aye po! Yiddle ay po! Yiddle ay po!

"The Ying Tong Song", Spike Milligan
Whenever I find myself gripping anything too tightly I just ask myself "How would Guy Hollingworth hold this?"

A magician on the Genii Forum

"I would respect VIPs if they respect history."

Hideo Kato
Jonathan Townsend
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Ossining, NY
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Quote:
On 2005-10-26 22:30, onebark wrote:
Wow, Jonathan. Was it your intention to confuse me?


That's an allusion to a guy named Daniel C. Dennett's work on the mind. He posits that consciousness is an illusion which breaks down when you start to get into measuring when you know and do at the same time, the "missing milliseconds" that show up in experimental data. Smile

You can use Google to find some citations. Here are two, one heavy and one light.

http://www.quantumconsciousness.org/Time.htm

http://dannyreviews.com/h/Consciousness_Explained.html
...to all the coins I've dropped here
magicalaurie
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Ontario, Canada
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Quote:
On 2005-10-11 15:46, saxmangeoff wrote:
And then there's the cat.......


:) Smile Smile Smile Smile Smile Smile
onebark
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Atlanta, GA
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Well, that didn't really clear things up for me (due only to my deficeit of attention span when I read long texts on a monitor), but I appreciate the effort, Jonathan. I did enjoy the link on Intentionality. I've heard this term used so much often, but I had absolutely no idea of what the heck it meant. I know now that some of the people I heard who used the term apparently didn't know either!

Anywho, can you help me find those missing milliseconds during my college years?
Hostile18
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London
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Just reading posts here on the Magic Café makes me feel pretty humble. There are some very, very clever people on this forum.
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