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Cory Gallupe Inner circle Nova Scotia, Canada 1272 Posts |
Hi, check out my new site, and sign my guest book. tell me what you think, Im not quite finished yet, I am going to try to get some demo videos on it if it will let me, and I also want to add more pictures of me performing at my local IBM and some of my other magic friends off theire websites. anyways, tell me what you think. Thanks, -Cory.
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Cory Gallupe Inner circle Nova Scotia, Canada 1272 Posts |
Oh, it might be a good idea to tell you what the site is, it is http://www.corygallupe.piczo.com
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JohnLamberti Elite user Los Angeles, CA 420 Posts |
A couple of thoughts. Blue text + black background = yucky.
You need to format your links so that they can be clicked. The currently can't be, and that's bad. On your bio page, remember that paragraphs are your friends. When I see a huge block of text like that, it just makes me hit the back button. I have no interest in reading it. Break it up a little. Remember learning about paragraphs in school? Those teachers were right. Use them. Your about me page could use some work. I know you're only 14, but you don't want to sound like a kid if you're advertising your services. Instead of this: Quote:
Hello. I am Cory Gallupe and as you could probably see, Im a magician. I live in Nova Scotia Canada and am available for bookings. If you have a party or special event and want a magician, call me! I am located in Porters Lake and my phone number is (***)***-**** or e-mail me at themagicman101@hotmail.com that is my msn as well. Thanks for dropping by my site. -Cory. Try this Quote:
My name is Cory Gallupe and I'm a magician in Porters Lake, Nova Scotia, Canada. If you have a party or special event and need a magician, give me a call. The piczo thingy at the bottom corner of the screen is distracting, but I imagine it's embedded in the site. The pictures could probably stand to be sized down by about half. Some general advice: Copy others. Seriously. Look at a really good website and see what you like about it. See what makes it easy to read and navigate. Consider using global navigation. (Don't know what that is? Check it out here.) Keep playing around. You've got a good idea. It just needs to be tweaked a little. |
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scott b. Special user 732 Posts |
John gave you some great advice on the paragraph organization.
You have the ball rolling, which is a great start. You have sources to make the site, and help doing so. But, I'll throw in what I feel are some constructive criticisms for what I noticed: The pictures page: Try showing off some serious skills. The coin flourish is good, aswell as the balls. The card springs look a bit messy, and holding the coin to me isn't really needed. Set down sometime with a camera, some material ready (Brain storm some stuff that looks good in a still shot), and someone to shoot some photos. Get a high quality camera, if you own one - great! If not try to borrow one. Shoot as many pictures pictures as possible in a bit more professional setting (when your performing a show possibly), and when your done look at each and decide on a few that you like (get more than one opinion on this). Instead of thanking people throughout your site, at the bottom of the main page or a special "Thank You" page have a list or paragraph of everyone you want to thank so it isn't as scattered. It might be my viewing size, but it appears you are wasting a lot of screen space. Try to center the focus to the middle of the page, and more neatly. Where it says, "The Magic of Cory Gallupe" Try to make that one main line or "The Magic of Cory Gallupe" or simply "Cory Gallupe" (They will learn about you more when they read the page or the "What I do" page). Try a white text on black background, something more appealing to the eye and easier to read. Don't make the readers struggle or else they may just give up. And I agree with John on the "Pizco" ad that moves. If your wanting the investment - try registering a domain from a host. All in all you have the basic idea down, and the ball rolling, but I think these are some things that can tweak it. Good luck, Scott
Thanks! Scott B.
"I don't know the key to success . . . but the key to failure is trying to please everybody." - Bill Cosby |
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Cory Gallupe Inner circle Nova Scotia, Canada 1272 Posts |
Thank you very much, its funny tho, those are pretty much all the problems I have seen. I cant fix the link thing, and I also cant fix the piczo ad, but I will be working on my other stuff.
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Cory Gallupe Inner circle Nova Scotia, Canada 1272 Posts |
There, I just fixed them, I think all the problems you seen before have been fixed now. Also, I just put a video in http://www.magicvideodepot.com It isn't up right now but chances are the next time you see this it will. If you are a mamber take a look at it and tell me what you think. It is bad quality, but its my first so I have plenty time to fix up problems for the future.
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Bill Palmer Eternal Order Only Jonathan Townsend has more than 24312 Posts |
Cory:
Color contrasts are very important for legibility. Your type size is excellent. But the black background with colored lettering on it is very difficult to read. A very large percentage of people has some kind of color blindness without even realizing it. About 10% of the male population has some kind of major color vision defect. For those people, The red type on your site will be completely invisible. The blue type might also be difficult to read. The most visible contrast is black on yellow. The second most visible is black on white. if you want a black background, use a boldface setting on your typeface.
"The Swatter"
Founder of CODBAMMC My Chickasaw name is "Throws Money at Cups." www.cupsandballsmuseum.com |
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Cory Gallupe Inner circle Nova Scotia, Canada 1272 Posts |
Did you see the updated version of it? I don't know about you guys, but I can read that no problem. I just don't want absolutly ALL the font white. Anyways, if it is still hard to read, Ill change it.
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Scott Cram Inner circle 2678 Posts |
You can find more great usability and design advice at Alertbox: Current Issues in Web Usability.
Also, one more tip for the Café: Make the link to your website in your signature as a clickable link! You can learn how to do this in the Magic Café BBCode FAQ. |
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Billy Bo Special user 627 Posts |
1 almost all photos should be of you performing for people not on your own in a bedroom.
2 the link to the other site with that girl makes it look tatty and unprofessional 3 less is more 4 don't put the site up till its perfect or people wont come back to look at it 5 most importantly don't show off in your photos, laymen don't appreciate a 4 coin roll, it just looks like you placed them there. dress smart and go perform for friends and family while someone is taking photos |
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scott b. Special user 732 Posts |
Quote:
On 2005-11-11 05:51, STEVIE D wrote: Hows about a little bit more constructive?
Thanks! Scott B.
"I don't know the key to success . . . but the key to failure is trying to please everybody." - Bill Cosby |
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Alniner Loyal user Burlington, ON, Canada 254 Posts |
Actually, Scott B, I think his comments were very constructive. Yeah, he's 14, but welcome to the real world. People are going to be a little rough on you if you're not up to snuff. It was short, concise, and not long winded.
The only thing missing from that was, spell check. Always check the spelling before putting up your site. At 14, you should have a good grasp of the english language. Sorry.
Skål
-- Alan |
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Cory Gallupe Inner circle Nova Scotia, Canada 1272 Posts |
Ya, I spell checked my Biography. If there is any other spelling mistakes, please tell me! Thank you.
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Cory Gallupe Inner circle Nova Scotia, Canada 1272 Posts |
There!, I finally got the links to lead directly to the site they belong to. Check it out now, It is perfect in almost every way, I think...
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Jaz Inner circle NJ, U.S. 6111 Posts |
There are still spelling errors.
If you don't have a spell checker I suggest http://dictionary.reference.com/ I hope you don't feel I'm being harsh by what I'll say here because that's not my intention. I know you're a young guy but to me the site is more for friends to view and not a site that is very professional. I suggest that you show more enthusiasm in any future photos. Big smiles. The bedroom background with Sponge Bob, Mickey ... sorry but no. In fact, the photos and music do absolutely nothing to promote your offerings. Look at what other magicians are doing with sites. Get some ideas from those. If the site is meant to promote you, you really need to give some serious thought about what will attract people and what won't. Best wishes, |
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Cory Gallupe Inner circle Nova Scotia, Canada 1272 Posts |
Yes, I know what you mean when yout talk about the background. My mom was saying the same thing, and you guys are right, what I'm going to do is next time I do a Photo shoot, I will somhow make a plain colored back drop. And what do you mean when you say that the photo's and the MUSIC don't do anything for the promotion? Is there music on the site? I have my volume up and I cant hear anything. So is there music on it?What does it sound like? And I know what you mean by saying that the photo's don't do anything for promotion, but that's not my intention, I just put them there for some eye candy. I know people wouldnt get me just because I make good pictures (or crappy ones) because if they are hiring me for that, they are looking in the wrong place! Anyways, thanks for the help, keep posting people, I want to see what else I can fix. And get back to me on the music! -Cory.
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Cory Gallupe Inner circle Nova Scotia, Canada 1272 Posts |
If there was music, it should be gone now, please look and tell me if that is true. Thank you
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Jaz Inner circle NJ, U.S. 6111 Posts |
I don't hear the music now.
I'm wondering if it wasn't something attached to one of the banner ads. The photos do nothing because: 1) Again, the backdrop. 2) Your facial expressions are bland and your face hidden at times. 3) All the photos of you doing tricks with out an audience says to me that you're a bedroom magician and not a pro. Then maybe it's just me. Look at this site: http://members.aol.com/JTD0001/jrmagic.html Here's a simple site of a long time magician that says a lot and shows enthusiasm and fun. Note his dress style, audience reactions and interaction. Check out other performing magician sites and see how they're structure and what they want the visitors to know. Some magi here at the Café have nice informative sites. The final product, your site, reflects on you. I sincerely wish you luck , |
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Cory Gallupe Inner circle Nova Scotia, Canada 1272 Posts |
Ok, thanks for the help. I will perform for people in an nice enviroment, and when I do photo shoots from now on, There will be more expressions and a back drop. Thank you very much for the help, it will help alot!
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Billy Bo Special user 627 Posts |
Did you not learn anything from all these pros trying to help. more pictures of you and a messy background. all it would take is a plain wall. and lay people are not impressed with all those pictures. keep it simple. and 1 last thing, don't ever call them sponge. they don't need to know
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