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Todd Robbins V.I.P. New York 2922 Posts |
There is a trend that annoys me.
It used to be that when someone said "Thank you" the polite and gracious response was, "You are welcome." Recently the phrase "No problem" has replaced it. These two phrase do not say the same thing. "You are welcome" is about your relationship with the person to whom you are talking. "No problem" is all about you. Because it is short for saying that it was not a problem for you to do this, there is a self-centered feel to the phrase. There is something smug about it. If you have say "No problem" it should be in response to a request to do something. The mis-use of this phrase is just an irksome thing. |
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nucinud Inner circle New York, New York 1298 Posts |
Hey Todd,
Your point is well taken. I guess people don't really think about what they say. I my self have sometimes used the phrase without thinking about it. From now on I will be more careful. Harry
"We are what we pretend to be" Kurt Vonnegut, jr.
Now U C It Now U Don't Harry Mandel www.mandelmagic.com |
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Cliffg37 Inner circle Long Beach, CA 2491 Posts |
Todd,
I absolutly agree with what you are saying. I teach High School for a living, and the use of poor language and mis-used word runs rampant. I cringe when I heare the word subsequent used to before, when it means after. But after reading your post, do I think you? Say you're welcome, or say no problem? Truthfully, from the kids I see I can tell you that parents today, in gneral, aren't too busy teaching thier kids morals, values and manners. The concept of thou shalt not steal has been replaced with thou shalt not steal from me, but watch me get all I can. It is foolish to expect proper behavior from a teen-ager (or adult for that matter) if they did not learn it in youth. My six year old daughter is being trained in... Please, thank you, sharing, farness, honesty etc. She may or may not grow up to be a strong bennefit to society, but I am comfortable knowing I gave her the tools to do it.
Magic is like Science,
Both are fun if you do it right! |
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Doug Higley 1942 - 2022 7152 Posts |
I worked at a place once on the phones where the head guy was totally anal about the usage of that WORD.
Even if used as...'Well, there is one problem we need to overcome' "There are NO problems"... he would shout..."only Challenges!" Thus we were FINED for EVER using the word in any context...hahaha...quickly put the word 'problem' out of my personal lexicon. I was raised proper and ALWAYS say thankyou...you're welcome and please etc. Always. Funny thing is I get odd looks of appreciation when I casually say those things ...folks just aren't used to it anymore. Maids...Store Clerks...Bus Boys...all get a sincere 'thank you' and a 'you're welcome' from me...it's not just habit...it's respect. Of course they would rather have a TIP but that's another story. Thanks Todd...you said: "If you have say 'No problem' it should be in response to a request to do something." To this day I always say "Not a Challenge." No fines for me! Doug
Higley's Giant Flea Pocket Zibit
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balducci Loyal user Canada 227 Posts |
In Spanish, I believe the traditional response to "Gracias" is "De Nada" or "Por Nada".
De Nada translates as "You're welcome" but I think the exact translation is more like "It's nothing". "It's nothing" is essentially the same as "No problem". Long story made short, I wonder if the growing influence of the Hispanic population in the States is responsible for the surge in popularity of "No Problem" as a substitute for "You're welcome". It's just the normal Spanish response, translated exactly into English.
Make America Great Again! - Trump in 2020 ... "We're a capitalistic society. I go into business, I don't make it, I go bankrupt. They're not going to bail me out. I've been on welfare and food stamps. Did anyone help me? No." - Craig T. Nelson, actor.
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Magical Lady Loyal user 275 Posts |
Some years ago, a colleague referred to the place where he lived as his 'pad'. The Chairman of the Company immediately made the comment -
'A pad is something you write in, not something you spend the night in' I liked it then - I still like it now. Best ML x |
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S2000magician Inner circle Yorba Linda, CA 3465 Posts |
This is a subject on which I have harped repeatedly. To reply to "Thank you" with "No problem" makes it sound as if, had the situation been only slightly different, it would have been a problem and the person who thanked you would have been out of luck. To reply "You're welcome" conveys the idea that the person who thanked you has your support, your blessing, your permission: a very different implication.
Much of the blame lies with employers, frankly: they should ensure that their employees act - and that includes speaking - courteously. Some of the blame, frankly, lies with the general public. If we want people to know that there is a difference between replying "You're welcome" and replying "No problem" and that we expect the former rather than the latter we must speak up. I do. Especially when a young employee says "No problem" to me, I will explain that, if they mean "You're welcome" they should say so; I hope that the next patron benefits from this. |
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David Nelson Elite user San Mateo, CA 404 Posts |
I have to disagree with what you are reading into the response, "no problem".
I regularly use the response "no problem" but it's not to imply that if there were a problem things would be different. It's a lie to make the grateful person feel less in my debt for whatever favor they have received. The idea is that "thank you" implies a debt of gratitude and "no problem" or "think nothing of it" implies that the debt is immediately forgiven and forgotten. That is the way I use these phrases and it is a perfectly legitimate use. Mine depends upon a certain connotation of "thank you" meaning to express thanks which expresses gratitude or, according to dictionary.com, a debt. Yours depends on ignoring that aspect of the term thank you and accepting that "you are welcome" is the only acceptable response. Dave |
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rossmacrae Inner circle Arlington, Virginia 2475 Posts |
Spanish:
Gracias! [reply] De nada! ("For nothing!" - I liken it to "'twarn't nothin'," or "no problem.") Offensive? |
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Tom Cutts Staff Northern CA 5925 Posts |
Yes, offensive. Such a response devalues the kindly offering of "Thanks". If it really was "nothing", I certainly am a fool for thanking you for it. Or is that the next proper phrase? "Well then, thanks for nothing." I think it all boils down to the value one puts on "thanks".
I also believe the phrase "You're welcome." is all the negating of any debt which is needed. BUT, these are conventions of generations and cultures. They will soon be gone along with many other social pleasantries as the computer raised, socially ignorant generation (not to say any of you are) matures. Change is inevitable. |
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S2000magician Inner circle Yorba Linda, CA 3465 Posts |
Quote:
On 2005-12-11 21:22, Tom Cutts wrote: But not necessarily beneficial. |
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Skip Way Inner circle 3771 Posts |
I prefer to say "(It was) My pleasure." Not quite as specific as "You're Welcome", not as indifferent as "No Problem"...but it does define my general enjoyment at doing for others.
No need to thank me...it's been My Pleasure. Skip
How you leave others feeling after an Experience with you becomes your Trademark.
Magic Youth Raleigh - RaleighMagicClub.org |
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NJJ Inner circle 6437 Posts |
If you want to take the literal meaning of the phrases then You're welcome is MORE selfish then no problem.
No Problem: - There is no need to thank me because there was no problem in performing the task for which you are thanking me. You are welcome: - I permit and encourage your thanks. e.g. you are welcome in my house. However, language and phrases are rarely about dictionary definitions but instead about the intention of the speaker the interpretation of the listener. And most listeners understand that pad now means house and no problem means you're welcome. |
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Tom Cutts Staff Northern CA 5925 Posts |
Your use of "welcome" in your example is not the "literal" definition of its use in the phrase "Your welcome." when given in response to thanks offered.
No need to thank you... next time I won't. I don't care for where that leads. |
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Magical Lady Loyal user 275 Posts |
TOM CUTTS said -
"They will soon be gone along with many other social pleasantries as the computer raised, socially ignorant generation (not to say any of you are) matures. " ____________________________________ The mere THOUGHT of a society that doesn't say 'Thank You or 'You're Welcome' does NOTHING for me at all! I'm afraid I'm one of those sticklers who INSIST on good manners and I'm sorry to say it - but I ALWAYS pull people up on it too!! (Not in a rude or aggressive way you understand), but I just place a lot of importance on such values. I WONT remain in the company of anyone who is rude or bad mannered - and certainly wouldnt make return arrangements, even if I liked them for all other kiinds of reasons. Bad manners? Bad news...! (see, youve got me on my soapbox now!) Best ML x (Oh yes...and "THANK YOU...!") *giggle* |
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ed rhodes Inner circle Rhode Island 2885 Posts |
Quote:
On 2005-12-11 13:15, Doug Higley wrote: "Well sir, the 'challenge' is that the reactor is melting and a hydrogen bubble is forming that will pretty much render the entire factory incapable of supporting life as we know it when it explodes. Oh, and I quit!"
"...and if you're too afraid of goin' astray, you won't go anywhere." - Granny Weatherwax
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pkg Inner circle The City of Ithobaal I son of Hiram I 1356 Posts |
"don't mention it"
Double posters should be shot!
No really!! |
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ed rhodes Inner circle Rhode Island 2885 Posts |
I always liked the moment in "Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy" where Zaphod Beeblebrox tries to compliment Arthur for saving their lives.
BEEBLEBROX: That was a hoopy piece of thinking, Earthman. ARTHUR: Oh, it was nothing. BEEBLEBROX: Was it? Oh, never mind then.
"...and if you're too afraid of goin' astray, you won't go anywhere." - Granny Weatherwax
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Mark Rough Inner circle Ivy, Virginia 2110 Posts |
Quote:
On 2005-12-11 15:23, balducci wrote: I think Todd has already pointed out the distinction between "you're welcome" and "no problem". One is about the person something is done for and the other is about the doer. I think the same distinction applies here. "No problem" is still about the doer, "it's no problem [for me]". "It's nothing" is about the act of giving. I much prefer "de nada" to "no problem". Mark
What would Wavy do?
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Ollie1235 Special user England 533 Posts |
"No problem" implies that the person thanking should not worry about whatever debt they felt the need to say thankyou for. So, in essence by saying "no problem" your implying for them not to worry about it, pretty much saying you didn't mind doing whatever the debt was that they felt the need to thank you for. Whats wrong with that?
Secondly, whats wrong with something being ever so sleightly self centered towards the person that helped or did something for the other person? I don't beleive the phrase is at all self centered but I just though I'd argue that anyway. lastly, I think many of you guy's are over analyzing the word's, its not allways the words so much as the meaning implied behind them. If we took this attitude through all of the phrases in the english language then nothing would make sense, or everything would have several different meaning, or offensive meanings. I say no problem to tell someone it wasnt a problem doing whatever I did, I don't say it to make the phrases about me (self centere), or to imply that it would have been a problem if I never helped them. I say it to be polite. If we look at all english language in such depth then sooner or later 'whats up' will mean whats above where you are currently standing and a phrase I used earlier "...many of you guys..." would become an insult to any women participating in the conversation, but I think it pretty clear I never meant that. I'll stop my little rant now. ~Oliver. |
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