The Magic Café
[ Lost Password ]
  [ Forgot Username ]
The Magic Cafe Forum Index » » Now that’s funny! » » Response to someone walking across stage (0 Likes) Printer Friendly Version

 Go to page 1~2 [Next]
View Profile
Loyal user
257 Posts

Profile of trickychris
so we have the standard - "don't worry, its just a stage your going through"

are there any others?


View Profile
Inner circle
4299 Posts

Profile of magicgeorge
Good question, I use the above too, it's a bit hack. I wish I had something better.

We should pool our resources and make some up.

How about:

To the audience (after they've left):Let's never let anybody come between us again

Oh look, it's one of the drifters.

He/she's on the 12 step program. 12 steps and he/she's out of my ***ing way.

Ladies and Gentleman, Mr Ascro Flies, inventor of the short-cut.

(for street acts):See, nothing can come between a woman and a shoeshop

Ladies and gentleman, Miss direction.

Ah ha, the 4:45 distraction, bang on time.

View Profile
Eternal Order
Please ignore my
17040 Posts

Profile of joseph
Is's ok...Just watch the trap door...
"Everything should be made as simple as possible, but no simpler." (Einstein)...
View Profile
Inner circle
New Jersey
1739 Posts

Profile of 0pus
Where are you performing? I find it hard to imagine performing on a stage and having people walk by.
View Profile
Inner circle
4299 Posts

Profile of magicgeorge
It usually happens when you have a stage area rather than an actual stage. It happens a lot on the streets where there's a clearly defined performance area and crowd area and someone walks in between the two in a daydream. I have had the occasional dozy adult do it during a children's performance, too.

Nathan Alexander
View Profile
Inner circle
1350 Posts

Profile of Nathan Alexander
"At least they're honest. They only paid for half the show." - if they are going out.

"Not a bad decision," as you nod in their direction. "My jokes only get worse."
View Profile
Inner circle
New Jersey
1739 Posts

Profile of 0pus
If you are doing a show with a defined stage area I would suggest something along the lines of "Oh, the next act is here." Ask the intruder his (her) name. "Ladies and gentlemen, the song stylings of . . . . [or, (for a male intruder) the very talented and lovely ..."].

In a children's show, introduce the adult and tell the children that he is going to remove his ears . . . tell them you would like to see that . . . act very disappointed if the adult cannot remove his ears.

If you are performing on the street, I am not sure I would see any line delivered by the performer as being anything but rude. Street performers generally perform in areas that are set aside for pedestrians; accordingly, a pedestrian is not the intruder. It is the performer who is invading the pedestrian's space.
Brent McLeod
View Profile
Inner circle
New Zealand
1700 Posts

Profile of Brent McLeod
1 Guy walked in front of the stage at a cabaret performance Adults)-I was on next & the MC
stares at him & says

Its ok !-dont feel embarrassed about your clothes!

Audience laughs!

MC Again- (old line)

Theres a bus leaving from reception in 10 mins -Be under it!!!!

Bought the house down & the guy himself couldn't stop laughing & went very red!!
View Profile
Inner circle
Harris Deutsch
8687 Posts

Profile of harris
As one with some mime and silent comedy in my background I go into a quiet walk behind the person.

At times, if the person wasn't in a big hurry I have used them for a volunteer.

Times this has happened included....

1. Work in a room where the staff had an entrance/exit behind me...(unknown prior to the start of the program
2.Buffet where diners would get up and get food during the show...
which led me to know schedule programs after dinner...we learn from our past
3. Emergencies
4. Hack response... "I will come down to your job at ____(insert fast food or big box store here) and interrupt you.... I used it in my younger days but have discarded it as too insulting for my present style......

Making any impromptu remark is a risk... Of course great comedy takes great risk.

You have to decide what fits your personality and also the place where you are performing.

Harris Deutsch
Harris Deutsch aka dr laugh
music, magic and marvelous toys
View Profile
Inner circle
wrote the theme to the TV show COPS!
1623 Posts

Profile of Lyndel
On 2006-02-15 12:27, magicgeorge wrote:

He/she's on the 12 step program. 12 steps and he/she's out of my ***ing way.

That is a ***ing brilliant line George! Thanks!

View Profile
Veteran user
Opelika, Alabama
342 Posts

Profile of sunnydolan
Well, I've never had that problem before, but if I ever do, now I'll have some good responses, thanks.
An amatuer practices untill he gets it right, a professinal practices untill he can't get it wrong.

Don't wait for oppurtunity to knock, throw open the door, grab it by the throat and drag it inside kicking and screaming.

Magically yours
Owen Anderson
View Profile
Loyal user
A sturdy fence needs at least
228 Posts

Profile of Owen Anderson
LOVE the 12 step line!
Sometimes I stop what I'm doing, pick up a giant prop knife I keep in my case, and follow them on tip-toe holding it as if ready to strike.
Extra laugh for the audience.
Owen Anderson
View Profile
New user
82 Posts

Profile of Smudge
I usually say either of these...

"Hey how would you like me to walk across your bedroom floor tonight while you're performing?"


"What is this? A sponsored walk?"

But make sure you stop what you are doing, and say it nice and loud and straight at them. This way it will warn other people that you won't let them walk across you without you having a go at them.
View Profile
New user
71 Posts

Profile of Brent
How about just stopping in the middle of whatever you're doing, letting your jaw-drop, and staring at them- it will get a few laughs and the person- if they're not in 'outer space'- will realize something's off and that will get their attention!
Sonny Vegas
View Profile
Regular user
Chicago, Illinois - USA
199 Posts

Profile of Sonny Vegas
Be selective and very cautious...some responses might turn your "Fun Loving Magician" into a short-tempered louse. Try to keep them as clean as possible. You do not want to alienate yourself from the audience. Especially with a kid do not want any confrontation.

Let them walk past you and if the audience is truly captivated by you, they will, in they're own way, be it an evil eye or under breath comment, let that person know to sit their ash down.

If you really want a one liner at a kid show just say: "Oh look kids! It's my friend Mr. Money and he has a brand new 5 dollar bill for first 10 of you who Donkey Pile on him."...Just kidding but I would bet those kids would react quickly and the adult would be youthfully ambushed...Lol!

As for an adult show, your limit can be opened...a bit. Just remember the first thing about having a successful show is: Getting the audience on your side. Once that is accomplished...they are putty in your hands. Enjoy yourself then and don't let anything derail your show. Simple.
Believe in yourself and the magic will come.
View Profile
Special user
559 Posts

Profile of MichaelKent
I agree with highschoolmagician --

Just acknowledging them will get a laugh from your audience. The key here is noticing and acknowledging them AFTER your audience notices them.

When this has happened to me, I just usually casually give them a nod and say "What’s up?" like it’s completely normal what they're doing. That usually gets a laugh and the fact that you're acknowledging them will give them the idea that they're attracting unusual attention.
View Profile
Special user
The Lunatic Fringe
718 Posts

Profile of SeaDawg
Depending on the situation a "parody walk" behind them often gets a lot of laughs.

Just think "Monty Python" and you are on the right track...

"Ladies and gentlemen my next volunteer for my anesthetic free brain surgery has arrived. Three more successful operations and I get an indoor clinic..."
Crazy people take the psycho-path thru the forest...
View Profile
Eternal Order
20246 Posts

Profile of Dannydoyle
Ok I am with the question of where are you performing, but here is my idea anyhow.

Just watch them. Let them walk and watch them. Stop the show and watch. It may get a huge laugh. Then just kind of shrug and go on.
Danny Doyle
<BR>Semper Occultus
<BR>In a time of universal deceit, telling the truth is a revolutionary act....George Orwell
View Profile
Inner circle
In my day, I have driven
1594 Posts

Profile of airship
You could also supply a cartoon soundtrack to the pace of their walk. I suggest a low-pitched, moronic 'dump-de-dump-de-dump-de-dumpity-dump...' (repeat as needed).
'The central secret of conjuring is a manipulation of interest.' - Henry Hay
Father Photius
View Profile
Grammar Host
El Paso, TX (Formerly Amarillo)
17197 Posts

Profile of Father Photius
"The door opens and a fig newton enters", then just stand there and watch them walk all the way across the stage.
"Now here's the man with the 25 cent hands, that two bit magician..."
The Magic Cafe Forum Index » » Now that’s funny! » » Response to someone walking across stage (0 Likes)
 Go to page 1~2 [Next]
[ Top of Page ]
All content & postings Copyright © 2001-2020 Steve Brooks. All Rights Reserved.
This page was created in 0.12 seconds requiring 5 database queries.
The views and comments expressed on The Magic Café
are not necessarily those of The Magic Café, Steve Brooks, or Steve Brooks Magic.
> Privacy Statement <

ROTFL Billions and billions served! ROTFL