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The Magic Cafe Forum Index » » Now that’s funny! » » It's tax time. (0 Likes) Printer Friendly Version

mrmystic
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Chicago
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Since gambling is a disease, can I write my losses off as a medical expense?
joseph
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Ambition in America is still rewarded . . . with high taxes.

America is the land of opportunity. Everybody can become a taxpayer.

It's hard to believe America was founded to avoid high taxation.

Americans are now in a daze from intaxication......
"Everything should be made as simple as possible, but no simpler." (Einstein)...
mrmystic
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Am I allowed to deduct my multiple personalities as dependents?
joseph
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There was a time when $200.00 was the down-payment on a car; now it's the sales tax.

There is no tax on brains; the take would be too small.

The tax collectors take up so much of your earnings to balance the budget that you just can't budget the balance.

If my business gets much worse, I won't have to lie on my next tax return. Smile ..
"Everything should be made as simple as possible, but no simpler." (Einstein)...
nathanallen
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Des Moines, Iowa, USA
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When the time comes for the "meek to inherit the earth," taxes will be so high that they won't want it!
Nathan Allen, The Maniac of Magic
www.maniacofmagic.com

To buy a prop is nothing.
To write a good routine is something.
To really entertain an audience is everything.
joseph
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Capital Punishment: Congress comes up with a new tax.

Drive carefully. Uncle Sam needs every taxpayer he can get.

Children may be deductible, but they are still taxing.

There is no child so bad that he/she can't be used as an income tax deduction....
"Everything should be made as simple as possible, but no simpler." (Einstein)...
Father Photius
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El Paso, TX (Formerly Amarillo)
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Definition: Vampire: a creature that sucks the life's blood out of its victim...Definition: IRS: a creature that sucks the life's blood out of its victim.

They say to pay your taxes with a smile, but when you get to the IRS they insist on cash!

I tell you I don't get no respect, I called the suicide hotline the other day, told them I was thinking of killing myself, they transfered me to to the IRS.

The Lord giveth, and the IRS taketh away.

Yeah I know they are old. So am I
"Now here's the man with the 25 cent hands, that two bit magician..."
joseph
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Congress does some strange things. it puts a high tax on liquor and then raises the other taxes that drive people to drink.

The attitude of Congress toward hidden taxes is not to do away with them, but to hide them better.

Congress has the unsolved problem of how to get the people to pay taxes they can't afford for services they don't need.

Every year around April 15 Americans have a rendezvous with debt.....
"Everything should be made as simple as possible, but no simpler." (Einstein)...
pdmedic
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1040 Extra EZ

Line 1 How Much did you make
SEND IT TO US.
joseph
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Golf is a lot like taxes. You drive hard to get to the green and then wind up in the hole.

Some people think the government owes them a living. The rest of us would gladly settle for a small tax refund.

Our government really takes care of us. They even give us free income tax forms....
"Everything should be made as simple as possible, but no simpler." (Einstein)...
Lee Darrow
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Chicago, IL USA
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Quote:
On 2006-03-13 01:07, pdmedic wrote:
1040 Extra EZ

Line 1 How Much did you make
SEND IT TO US.


New version:

PLUS 10%

Lee Darrow, C.H.
http://www.leedarrow.com
<BR>"Because NICE Matters!"
mrmystic
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Hey Lee, glad to have you back.
joseph
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President Herbert Hoover was the first President to give his salary back to the government. Now the government would like everbody to do it.

Everybody works for the government, either on the payroll or the taxroll.

A man's home is his castle. At least that's how he feels when he pays taxes on it....
"Everything should be made as simple as possible, but no simpler." (Einstein)...
drkptrs1975
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I would say so.
joseph
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Don't you long for the good old days when Uncle Sam lived within his income and without most of yours?

Nothing makes a person more modest about their income than to fill out a tax form.

The income tax forms have been simplified beyond all understanding.....
"Everything should be made as simple as possible, but no simpler." (Einstein)...
Lee Darrow
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Chicago, IL USA
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I went to college to study taxonomy and all I got was a tax on me!

Lee Darrow, C.H.
http://www.leedarrow.com
<BR>"Because NICE Matters!"
joseph
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A harp is a piano after taxes.

We need to change our National Anthem to "Deep in the Heart of Taxes."

A good name is to be chosen over great riches. It's tax free! . . . so far.....
"Everything should be made as simple as possible, but no simpler." (Einstein)...
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