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The Magic Cafe Forum Index » » The March 2006 entrée: Tim Ellis & Sue-Anne Webster » » Aussie Expressions » » TOPIC IS LOCKED (0 Likes) Printer Friendly Version

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Tim Ellis
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Well Michael J, "Cark" is actually "die", so you're making progress.

Husband beater and RBT were wrong though... see my post above and try to fill in the gaps!

This is not just a challenge for Michael J though, anyone can play!
Jonathan Kelly
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I have to have a go!!

Chemist = Well in Ireland a chemist is a pharmacist...maybe it's the same downunder

Footsies = As in play footsies? Under the table?

Dingaling = A stupid person. I've been called it!

Cark = die (from your post!!)

RBT = It's an acronymm but I haven't a clue.....really brilliant tinny???

Brass Monkey Weather = really cold weather

Lollipop Lady = in Britain it's a crossing guard

Kick to Kick = a game of footy (more information please)

Heart Starter = Whiskey?

Over the shoulder boulder holder = a bra

Husband beater = If it's what I'm thinking....I knew it as 'the punishment' when I was a kid. Rolling Pin?

Chuck a Uee = throw a u-turn

King Dick = Queen Fannie's husband?
"But where did the lighter fluid come from?"
Elly May Drudge
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Tim Ellis' snoopy neighbor
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Well Johnny I've heard a lot about the Irish but you certainly know your Aussie slang. I'm surprised that, being Irish, you don't know RBT (Random Breath Test).

The only others you missed were Husband Beater, which is a long bread stick, and King Dick... someone who thinks he's really sooooo good!

It can be used in a sentence like: "Tim's so clever he just thinks he's King Dick!"

But those words Tim put up are pretty basic Australian. I've put some much more interesting words on my DVD - like "Cackleberry"


Here's some to really test you:

Cheese and kisses

Her indoors

The old girl

Ball and chain
Jonathan Kelly
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Just because I'm Irish doesn't mean I like to drink........well ok....it does!!!

That reminds me of a story about a small pub in the Irish countryside. It was in the middle of nowhere so everynight the regular customers used to drive there, and obviously drive home "under the influence". Well the local police heard about this and set out to find the pub and perform a sting operation.

So after a few hours searching they found the pub. Sure enough there were about 15 cars parked outside. So they waited till closing, parked across the street, to catch their first drink driver. Being a country pub it didn't abide by the closing time laws and it was 2:00 before there was any sign of movement. Sure enough soon after the front door opened and out staggered a poor fella who looked a bit worse for wear. He was walking from side to side, speeding up, slowing down. They watched him closely and knew they had their man when he took out the car keys, walked to his car, dropped the keys, fell over picking them up, picked up a stone by mistake, felt a bit puzzled when it wouldn't open the door......

All the while more people were leaving the pub but they focused their attention on this one guy who had finally got the car keys back from the ground, opened the door, got in a started the engine. Immediately they put the sirens on and sped over to his car. All the other cars left the car park quickly but the policemen didn't mind, they had their unlucky scapegoat that would lose the pub it's licence.

One of the officers got out and cockily walked over to the drunk man's car. He tapped on the window. The man missed the window winder on the first attempt but managed to open up on the second.

"Sir, we have suspicion that you intend to drive under the influence of alcohol. If you'd be so kind as to blow into this breath tester........that's it, a little longer....*beep*...great, one moment while it calculates the result."

The officer waited and suddenly the green light popped up. He was amazed. He tried it again, and again it passed.

"I.....I don't understand....." he said as he was lost for words.

The man calmly answered. Tonight, officer, I'm the designated decoy.
"But where did the lighter fluid come from?"
Jonathan Kelly
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Quote:
On 2006-03-09 20:43, Elly May Drudge wrote:
Well Johnny I've heard a lot about the Irish but you certainly know your Aussie slang. I'm surprised that, being Irish, you don't know RBT (Random Breath Test).

The only others you missed were Husband Beater, which is a long bread stick, and King Dick... someone who thinks he's really sooooo good!

It can be used in a sentence like: "Tim's so clever he just thinks he's King Dick!"

But those words Tim put up are pretty basic Australian. I've put some much more interesting words on my DVD - like "Cackleberry"


Here's some to really test you:

Cheese and kisses

Her indoors

The old girl

Ball and chain


Do they not all mean the same thing? Wife?
"But where did the lighter fluid come from?"
Elly May Drudge
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Tim Ellis' snoopy neighbor
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Yep.

And she's called Sue-Anne!

LOVE THE STORY!! I like your Irish sense of humour. Remind me to have a Guinness with you when next we meet.

Bottom's up!
Jonathan Kelly
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How did you know my bottom was up???? I didn't know my webcam was on.

I don't even have a web cam....:?

Hey, it's St. Paddy's Day on the 17th, what better time to visit Ireland. You'll even get a nice shamrock in your Guinness. I'll be sure to give you a tour if you're ever over here. Maybe even Tim and Sue-Anne too!
"But where did the lighter fluid come from?"
Michael J. Douglas
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Chemist = a rugby referee

Footsies = a football

Dingaling = There's an old Chuck Berry song called "My Dingaling" about a type of child's rattle. You don't want to know what Wikipedia says.

RBT = RugBy Tournament

Kick to Kick = a game of footy (footy is Australian football, or rugby)

Heart Starter = the beginning of a game of footy

Husband beater = an alcoholic drink

King Dick = Dick Reynolds was a rover in football that was known as "King Dick."


You like rugby, don't you?
Michael J.
�Believe then, if you please, that I can do strange things.� --from Shakespeare�s �As You Like It�
Elly May Drudge
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Tim Ellis' snoopy neighbor
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I see all Johnny my boy...

Interesting name you have by the way ... hmmm

Anyway... forget the other two, I'd be there with bells on! And a shamrock in your Guinness? My, my... where do they fit the liquid? You Irish are a weird lot, aren't you?! No wonder America and Australia have some real doozies amongst them.

I've got a lovely Irish friend, you know. Lovely lady, really. Makes me laugh... just like you.

I'll have a guinness and think of you on the 17th Johnnyfingers, dear.

And Michael J - I really like to sit back in my comfy chair when I have a break from my neighbourhood watch activities, put up my feet, guinness in my hand and watch the rugby. My favourite is Rugby League - you know, the real rough one where the players were no helmets... and they do that wonderful 'coat hanger' move. Yes... although, since moving to Melbourne from Sydney, I've grown rather partial to Aussie Rules. Very skilfull game, that is. Yes...

Got another Irish joke, while I think of some harder Aussie slang?
Jonathan Kelly
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Ok Elly May. One more joke for you that's very apt for this time of year...

Seán was born and raised in Dublin, and still lives there. But his two brothers, Paddy and Séamus both emigrated to America and Australia respectively. Every evening Seán would go to the local pub and order 3 Guinnesses. He'd take them and sit by himself and drink one after the other till all 3 were gone. Then he'd get up and leave.

After a few months of this the barman got very curious. The next time Sean came in and ordered 3 Guinnesses the barman said to him "Sean, if you don't mind me asking....why do you come in and order 3 Guinnesses, sit by yourself and drink them?"

"Ah that's easy" sais Sean. "You see I've two brothers that have moved abroad, Before they moved we used to go to this pub every day and I'd buy a drink for meself, and one each for them and we'd have a drink together. I keep up the tradition in their honour. Since they're not around anymore I drink their's aswell."

So this continued until one day in March when Sean walked in and ordered only 2 Guinnesses. The barman became very worried...this went on for nearly 40 days. Finally he couldn't take it anymore and went up to Sean fearing the worst.

"Sean, I hope nothing has happened to one of your brothers." he asked.

Sean just looked puzzled and took a sip of Guinness. "They're fine...What makes you think that?"

"Well", said the barman "Everyday you used order 3 Guinnesses, one for you and one each for your brothers. But lately you've only ordered 2"

"Ah!" says Sean pausing to take a long gulp "Sure aren't I off the stuff for Lent".
"But where did the lighter fluid come from?"
Michael J. Douglas
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And with the Olympics just over....

It is the Olympic men's figure skating. Out comes the Russian competitor, he skates around to some classical music in a slightly dull costume, performs some excellent leaps but without any great artistic feel for the music.

The Judges' scores read: Britain 5.8: Russia 5.9: United States 5.5: Ireland 6.0

Next comes the American competitor in a sparkling stars and stripes costume, skating to some rock and roll music. He gets the crowd clapping, but is not technically as good as the Russian. He slightly misses landing a triple Salchow and loses the center during a spin. But, artistically, it is a more satisfying performance.

The Judges' scores read: Britain 5.8: Russia 5.5: United States 5.9: Ireland 6.0

Finally out comes the Irish competitor wearing a tatty old donkey jacket, with his skates tied over his wellies. He reaches the ice, trips straight away and bangs his nose which starts bleeding. He tries to get up, staggers a few paces then slips again. He spends his entire 'routine' getting up then falling over again. Finally he crawls off the ice a tattered and bleeding mess.

The Judges' scores read: Britain 0.0: Russia 0.0: United States 0.0: Ireland 6.0

The other 3 judges turn to the Irish judge and demand in unison, "How in the world can you give that mess 6.0?!"

To which the Irish judge replies "You've gotta remember, it's darn slippery out there."

When did this turn into Irish bashing? hehe
I'm of Irish and Scottish heritage and I don't drink. Somethin's wrong here....Smile
Michael J.
�Believe then, if you please, that I can do strange things.� --from Shakespeare�s �As You Like It�
jgravelle
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I'm glad you changed the pace. I laughed so hard at the Australian lingo that I had to change my down-under-wear.

If anybody needs me, I'll be at Wallaby-Mart...


Regards,

-jjg
Elly May Drudge
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HAHAHAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

LOVE the jokes!!!

But, jjg just reminded me...

I'd LIKE to put a few names for naughty body parts on the forum ,as they had me splitting my sides and crying on the floor (it might have something to do with the silly illustration that went with the explanation... but, we'll stay above board.

Maggots.

Make a pavement pizza.

Spare me the violins.

Up the bum of a black chook looking for white feathers.

Wouldn't know if a tram was up him till the bell rang.

--------------
Go on then... 'avagoyamugs' - see what you can come up with here!
ASW
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Some of the lingo quoted in here is actually British slang or phrases: i.e., "her indoors", even though we use those terms, too. (Minder was a big hit in Oz)

There's a lot of rhyming slang in Oz due to the migration (forced!) of a lot of Londoners to Australia many moons ago. But we have a few of our own unique terms (Cark, drongo, etc).

Where we shine is in the simile and metaphor department, as Ellie and a few others have indicated:

"Wouldn't know the postman was up him until he blew the whistle"

"Drier than a pommies bath towel"

"A few kangaroos loose in his top paddock"

"Clack your dags"

"Easier than stealing wheat off a blind chook"

"Spear the..." Oh, skip that one.
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Michael Sullivan
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G'day,

Fair suck of the sauce bottle you blokes, Oh sorry and shellers.

Struth, I don't want to hear any Porkie Pies from any Snapper Heads.

To much of this and I will start getting my nickers in a knot.

Remember the yarns written on the dunny wall are to stay on dunny wall.

By golly, By jingo, By crikey theres more Kangaroo Boxing coming up!

WOW! all this slang creation is straining the old Trams & Trains.

Michael
Tim Ellis
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For the non-Australians out there who would like to speak Aussie, but don't have the time to learn all of our odd expressions, here's 'The Idiot's Guide to Talking Strine'.

One simple rule that will have you talking like an Aussie is to shorten a word and add "ie" to it.

That's why we Australians refer to ourselves as "Aussie"

Barbecues = Barbies

Alcoholics = Alkies

Kindergarten = Kindie

Relatives = Rellies

Cardigan = Cardie

Cigarette = Ciggie

Chewing Gum = Chewie


This is a simple rule and works with many words, but be careful, it doesn't work with all. There's no rhyme nor reason behind it, but some words simply don't work with "ie", you have to use "o" instead.

Garbologists are not Garbies but Garbos

Registration is not Regie but Rego

Smoking Break is not Smokie but Smoko

A Lesbian is not a Lessie but a Lesso


These are the finer points of our beautiful language, difficult to teach, in fact some say you need to be born here to speak it correctly.


There are also a few embarrassing mistakes made by American visitors to our shores that you need to be aware of.

* I've already told you about "Fannie" - in Australia, that is not a bottom.
* It's alright to refer to "a pack of fags" - in Australia it's nothing more than a packet of cigarettes.
* We wear "thongs" on our feet.
* It's okay to ask for a "little boy" at a party - all you'll get is a cocktail sausage or a "weiner".
* If you'd like a sausage and eggs, though it's not heard all that often, you can request a "mystery bag" and some "bum nuts".
* We'd prefer that you don't say "I root for the team", unless you actually want that type of reputation.


I hope this helps.
Jonathan Kelly
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Tim, that last bit reminds me of something that I read on this forum

Some guy had recently gotten into Metal Bending and was giving some advice to a fellow magician who was interested in it.

This is what he said. "It's great. I get great reactions at school. They even call me the bender now!"

He seemed happy about it. Obviously it means something different where he comes from than it does where I live!
"But where did the lighter fluid come from?"
IT Magic
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Freezing the balls off a brass monkey comes from old nautical times.

Picture an old style sailing ship with the cannons lining either side.
Next to every cannon there is a small pyramid of cannon balls.
The cannon balls are sitting on a square brass base with cannon ball sized dimples in it. It is this base that keeps the bottom layer of balls from rolling away and the rest are stacked on top to form a pyramid. This base is called a monkey.
When the weather got really really cold, the brass monkey would contract due to the cold and the balls would get pushed from the dimples and go rolling all over the deck.

Thus is born the phrase "cold enough to freeze the balls off a brass monkey"

Not really what we tend to think of these days, I think most picture a brass ape losing delicate body parts.
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I picture a world of love and peace, a world without war where people live together in harmony.
I also picture us attacking that world 'cause they just wouldn't expect it
jgravelle
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I'm not usually one to critique another man's balls story, but I can't pass up a monkey-debunkey:

http://www.snopes.com/language/stories/brass.htm

I'll apologize in advance if "monkey-debunkey" is an impolite phrase in Australia...


Regards,

-jjg
Tim Ellis
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I don't think there are ANY impolite phrases in Australia... Smile
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