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Stephen Buxton
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The hypochondriac Scotsman had a (blank), so he had a (blank)

No clues for now. Yes, there are many thousands of words that will fit in there and make sense. All I will say is that once you have filled in the blanks with the words I am after, you will notice a certain... something... about the words you used

Good luck!
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magicjohn2278
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I sincerely hope that the answer isn't illness and single (.gin)!
LobowolfXXX
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How about "draught" and "draught"?! (draft & draft!?)
"Torture doesn't work" lol
Guess they forgot to tell Bill Buckley.

"...as we reason and love, we are able to hope. And hope enables us to resist those things that would enslave us."
magicjohn2278
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... it has to be illness and single! (I think!) ... or illness and single gin. (but because Scotsmen drink whiskey, the right answer is more likely to be "single".)

(After all - what else could it be? I've tried anagrams, palindromes, even "words-that-can--be-typed-on-one-line-of-a-keyboard")
magicjohn2278
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... although, as Tomas pointed out, if "illness" is right, it should be

The hypochondriac Scotsman had an (blank), so he had a (blank)

.... and you don't spell illness or single with an "h"!!!????
Stephen Buxton
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Some nice guesses, nothing correct yet - that is both to the suggested words and methods.

I'll give you your first clue: each blank represents two different words, ie you need 4 different words to complete the sentence.
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magicjohn2278
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..anything to do with the absence of the letter "K"?
Stephen Buxton
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Well, the letter "K" is present in one of the words. Not sure how much that helps you...
If you put an infinite number of apes in front of an infinite number of computers, you get a pretty good idea of what internet chat rooms can be like
magicjohn2278
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Quote:
On 2006-03-25 09:47, Stephen Buxton wrote:
Well, the letter "K" is present in one of the words. Not sure how much that helps you...


Not much!
Stephen Buxton
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My next clue will require a bit of research: Gerald Wiley, while not the source of inspiration behind this puzzle, did happen to write something that became very famous and much loved that nevertheless is linked to this puzzle
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Stephen Buxton
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Guess no one found anything. Alright, think of homophonic couplets
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Steve Martin
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Ah, Stephen....Four candles! Smile

And therefore...

The hypochondriac Scotsman had a double chin, so he had a double gin.
Any man who reads too much and uses his own brain too little falls into lazy habits of thinking.
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Steve Martin
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Or even...

The hypochondriac Scotsman had a double chin, so he had a triple whiskey.
Any man who reads too much and uses his own brain too little falls into lazy habits of thinking.
Albert Einstein
dlhoyt
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It doesn't quite fit, but I thought it might be close:
The hypochondriac Scotsman had a high fever, so he had hay fever.

(And the hints only work for the UK. I've never heard of fork handles.)
leonard
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Stephen,
I'm not quite there yet.
I'm thinking blank hurt ... blank skirt, or blank ache ... blank wake.
Stephen Buxton
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Well, you've found the sketch.... Ronnie Barker (who wrote under the pen name of Gerald Wiley) goes into a shop and asks for what sounds like "Four Candles". The shop keeper gets him four candles.

"No. I want 'andles - for me forks!" (A fork is a garden tool for turning soil - like a spade but with prongs instead)

As for all the other suggestions - no to all.

Let's give you a few things to focus on. He is a Scotsman, so expect a Scottish-type comment in there. He is also a hypochondriac, so expect a description of a really minor ailment.

And for thos of you worried that you may not have heard of this Scottish word - trust me, you probably do know it. It might even be in your vocabulary
If you put an infinite number of apes in front of an infinite number of computers, you get a pretty good idea of what internet chat rooms can be like
Stephen Buxton
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Credit where credit is due... Stan Alger is the first to pm me with the correct answer
If you put an infinite number of apes in front of an infinite number of computers, you get a pretty good idea of what internet chat rooms can be like
Steve Martin
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One thing is for sure... he required a period of seven days' absence from work.
Any man who reads too much and uses his own brain too little falls into lazy habits of thinking.
Albert Einstein
Stephen Buxton
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Sounds like Steve Martin has the answer too...
If you put an infinite number of apes in front of an infinite number of computers, you get a pretty good idea of what internet chat rooms can be like
Steve Martin
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Ahem! Smile
Any man who reads too much and uses his own brain too little falls into lazy habits of thinking.
Albert Einstein
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