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The Magic Cafe Forum Index » » Looking out for our own » » My fiance attempted suicide... Keep us in your prayers... (0 Likes) Printer Friendly Version

Slimfrinky
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Nicholson, MS
153 Posts

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Hi all. Three nights ago I was asleep here in FEMA-ville, and I woke up to go use the bathroom. I went up to the door and found it locked. Inside my girlfriend told me that she was feeling sick. I went to use the other bathroom and on the way back to bed I saw a bunch of notes on the coffee table. I picked one up and read it long enough to figure out that it was a suicide note, and then ran to the bathroom and kicked in the door.

When I got inside I found my girlfriend on the floor with her wrists cut wide open, and blood all over the floor. She had taken a whole bottle of my pain medication and then cut deep four inch gashed in each of her wrists. She lost about a pint of blood before she got to the hospital. I wasn't even able to clean it, a friend of mine had to. I find myself having a lot of trouble using that bathroom now.

I don't know why she did it. Everything was fine in our relationship, and things have been progressivly getting better. The only thing that I can think of is that the stress of Hurricane Katrina got to her. Sadly, she had attempted suicide once before so I had no option but to have her commited. I was told in no uncertain terms that if I didn't sign the paperwork a judge would.

Soon the state of Mississippi will be taking my one love away from me and put her in a mental institution. I don't know when she will get out, but it will be at least a few months. I feel like a monster because I'm so distressed by this that I can't do anything. It's an effort to go take a shower, much less go to the hospital. I havn't been visiting her as much as I should be, and I feel like I'm the villian in a 1930's movie serial after having her commited.

I don't know what I'm going to do. I can't concentrate and I have to go back to school tomorrow, and that just seems so hard right now. All I ask is for you to all keep us in your prayers.
The eye of Katrina went right over my house. I now have a distinct distrust of nature.
Margarette
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Memphis area
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Please, don't feel like a villain! You have saved the life of someone you love! While my son never actually attempted suicide, he did threaten, and I did what any mother would do. He didn't like that I had him in for an emergency psych evaluation, didn't like that he had to go through several other evaluations, then to see his regular counselor at least once a week for a few months, but he now knows what I did was because I love him. In time, with the proper help, your girlfriend will know that you did this because you love her and you want her around for a long, long time.

Margarette
The only stupid question is the one not asked.
Slimfrinky
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Nicholson, MS
153 Posts

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I'm working on not feeling guilty about it but I still do. I didn't go visit her yesterday like I should have, and this morning when I went to the hospital I got the lovely news that she had been transfered to a mental hospital across the state. I don't have the money to visit her, and my vehicle wouldn't be able to make the drive anyway... I can't believe that I didn't get to say goodbye or hug her or anything.
The eye of Katrina went right over my house. I now have a distinct distrust of nature.
jimhlou
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Slimfrinky:

Your ordeal is almost unbelievable. You and your girlfriend are in our prayers. I hope that everything works out for you.

Jim
Patrick Differ
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Slim, you must consider getting some help for yourself. I'm certainly no expert, but from your discriptions of feeling withdrawn and the inability to concentrate, I'm getting the feeling that you may be experiencing a form of Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome.

You must take care of yourself, too. Asking for help is the first step to getting help. We often need help in knowing how to recognize and deal with our emotions, especially traumatic emotions. You've started doing that here. Now find a professional psychologist and discuss the matter with them.

Do the right thing. I'm rooting for you, pal.
Will you walk into my parlour? said the Spider to the Fly,
Tis the prettiest little parlour that ever you did spy;
The way into my parlour is up a winding stair,
And I've a many curious things to show when you are there.

Oh no, no, said the little Fly, to ask me is in vain,
For who goes up your winding stair
-can ne'er come down again.
Devilix
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Good luck Slimfrinky,

if you need help on anything, let me know.

Devilix
leapinglizards
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Slim,

First- call the place she is in and ask to speak to her case worker. If they will not speak to her you MUST get her parents involved immediately.

Contact a lawyer and find out what your rights are in your state as a fiance.

Does she have insurance or is she covered on yours... if she has insurance, and they may require HER to make this call herself, if she can explain that it is a financial hardship for her family to visit her where she is, the insurance may agree to move her to a closer facility.

If she has no insurance, then you may have to deal with state folks which can be trying.

DO NOT try to deal with this yourself. I am speaking from personal experience recently dealt with for my own spouse. Also, do not loose faith. If she shows signs of being stable, they actually may not keep her as long as you think. Ideally, she needs support folks.

One of the saddest things to me when I dealt with my own spouse is that on the (once a week) scheduled visitors hours, I was the ONLY person there to visit anyone out of the 70 people staying at the facility.

Also, when you speak to the case worker, find out when and how you can call her. Get her doctor's name and contact info. By all means BE a pain! let the folks there know that there are family members who care, have an interest and WILL be in their business.

Get your family and her family to help out and be in touch with YOU as much as possible. It is very hard, and you feel totally helpless right now. I Know!

Ultimately keep in mind that it is her fight to decide if she can get better and in the meanwhile YOU have to keep you well and healthful so you can be there for her.

I am happy to say, my spouse is home, better and moving forward! I wish you all the best!
Leaping Lizards!!! Who knew it was possible.
<BR>
<BR>www.LeapingLizardsMagic.com
Judah Vee
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of the JV Naughty Vanish....
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Slim, While I am not a praying man, I will hope for the best for you and your love. I my thoughts, Judah Vee
I don't care how fast or slow you are.... As long as I am faster.. -J-
Lee Darrow
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Chicago, IL USA
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Slim:

One: You are the hero of this tragedy. YOU saved her life. KEEP THAT IN MIND!

Two: The advice above about insurance and lawyers and family seems pretty solid (I have a side gig as a life insurance guy, so I'm a little educated in these things, but I don't do health and not in your state) but GET SOLID PROFESSIONAL ADVICE on the medical and insurance and legal issues.

Three: I agree - YOU need someone to work out YOUR stress and guilt with. Please understand that as a therapist myself, this is coming from a caring place - right now, you need all of the support you can get and a professional in the field - preferrably a Social Worker that does counselling, is probably your best bet. If you feel you need medication, see your doctor, by all means!

Four - remember, your friends here on the Café' are here, too. PM me if you need to and, even though I'm on the road right now, I'll do my best to get back to you as quickly as possible. If I can't, holler for some of the rest of the people on here that you know and trust. I am reasonably sure that they will rally 'round as well.

Five - TAKE SOME TIME FOR YOURSELF!!! Please don't get so wrapped up in this situation that you forget to take care of yourself. You are important, too...!

SIncerely, your friend,

Lee Darrow, C.H.
http://www.leedarrow.com
<BR>"Because NICE Matters!"
APC
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Los Angeles
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I hope all gets better, please keep faith and I truly hope everything turns out fine.
Slimfrinky
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Nicholson, MS
153 Posts

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Sorry for not keeping up with this thread. Things have been rough to say the least.

To update everyone on her, in Mississippi, when you are committed, wether it is against your will or not, you are placed in a holding cell at the prison until you can get a hearing by a judge. So she has been sitting in a prison cell for three weeks, and can't recieve any items, and I can only visit her behind glass while everything I say is being recorded. Hopefully she will get her hearing within a week. And yes, Mississippi is stupid. She seems to be doing slightly better, but she is having constant panic attacks, because she is being held with the general population. She is not let out of her cell for any reason other than visitations and to take showers, and has nothing to read, and her cell is located out of site of the tv. Plus she has to deal with abuse from the other prisoners making fun of her and calling her names like 'looney' and other things that I won't repeat here. Needless to say, her life is hell.

To update you on me. I don't tell everyone this, but I might as well. When I was in the Army I was in a position where I had to kill several people. This has always haunted me. After that event I threw my weapon at my CO's feet and told him that I would not ever use my weapon again because I had moral problems with killing people. Ironicly he sent me to a mental institution for not wanting to kill people.

Funny how the Army works.

But back to current times. After the events in the Army I have problems seeing a lot of blood. Not like if it is on tv mind you, but only in real life. Well the day I found her, I go to see a lot of blood, and I've been having flashbacks to the situation that happened when I was in the Army. I AM seeing a psyciatrist now, and I am on some medication. For some time I was having uncontrolable crying spells that would come on at any time, but now that is mostly under control due to medication. I can't say that I'm over anything, but at least the medication helps.

Plus someone broke into my house a week ago. Sadly for them they did it while I was in the house. I don't believe in owning guns myself for obvious reasons (but I have nothing agianst gun ownership, don't get me wrong here) but I do own a 500,000 volt stun gun. I gotta say, that was the most fun I've had in some time. It was a punk kid who thought that maybe he could get some cash to buy drugs. I zapped him, got him on the ground, and kept zapping him everytime he tried to get back up. Plus I told him the whole story of what I was going through, and asked him how he could even think to rob someone who has had his life torn apart the way mine was. By the time the police arived he was crying and begging forgivness. I visited him in jail and he told me that my story touched him and that he was going to make an honest effort to change his life. I hope that he meant it. I hate to see people flush their lives down the toilet. I forgive him for it, and if he ever comes back over and knocks instead of breaking in, I'll offer him a beer. I'm nice like that.

Whew. Big update. Gotta say thanks to the Magic Café though. You guys have helped me a lot. I've focused mainly on my magic and mentalism effects the past few weeks to distract me from the horrors around me, and it has worked. I want to thank every member who has helped me, or talked to me. For the most part the Café is filled with wonderful people, and I hope to stay here for a long time with you folks.

Thank you all for your kind words, and I assure you that me and my fiance will make it through things, one way or another. And although I am not a religous man, if there is a God, may he bless you all for helping me. Your kindness and compassion mean everything.
The eye of Katrina went right over my house. I now have a distinct distrust of nature.
RandyStewart
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Texas (USA)
1990 Posts

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Slim,

You've had a tough period alright. It can get better. You are not alone during such a tough chapter.

"I know God will not give me anything I can't handle. I just wish
that He didn't trust me so much." - Mother Teresa
Daniel Santos
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562 Posts

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I'm very sorry to hear about everything that has happened. We're definitely wishing for the best. Times like this are tough, but you will gain a tremendous amount of strength and understanding once you make it past the trouble spots. We're all here for you, even if you need to just express your thoughts to somebody. Good luck!


Dan
If it is to be, it is up to me.
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