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Dennis Michael
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Inner circle
Southern, NJ
6018 Posts

Profile of Dennis Michael
Some one sent me this email, changed the names and made it look like me because it is something they could see me doing just for laughs.
Dear Mrs. Michael:

Over the past six months, your husband, Dennis has been causing quite a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this type of behavior and have considered banning the entire family from shopping in any of our stores.

We have documented all incidents on our video surveillance equipment. Three of our clerks are attending counseling from the trouble your husband has caused. All complaints against Mr. Michael have been compiled and are listed below.

Mr. Wally Zimbrowski, Wal-Mart Complaint Department

Re: Mr. Dennis Michael

Complaints - 15 Things Mr. Michael has done while his wife is shopping or when he just stopped in the store but bought nothing. This has occurred over the past year. We believe he is retired but want attention:

1. Nov 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they weren't looking.

2. Dec 2: Set all the alarm clocks in House wares to go off at 5-minute intervals

3. Dec 7: Made a trail of pineapple juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.

4. Dec 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official tone, 'Code 3' in house wares..... And watched what happened.

5. Jan 4: Went to the Service Desk and asked to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.

6. Feb 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

7. Feb 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told other shoppers he'd invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.

8. Feb 23: When a clerk asks if they can help him, he begins to cry and asks; why can't you people just leave me alone?'

9. March 4: Looked right into the security camera; used it as a mirror, and picked his nose.

10. April 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, asked the clerk if he knows where the antidepressants are.

11. May 3: Darted around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.

12. May 6: In the auto department, practiced his "Madonna look" using different size funnels.

13. May 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browse through, yelled "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"

14. May 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumes the fetal position and screams "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!!!"

And last, but not least,

15. May 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door and waited a while; then, yelled, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!"

Dennis Michael
Magical Dimensions
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Inner circle
5001 Posts

Profile of Magical Dimensions
That was a very fun read! Thanks for sharing.

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Inner circle
5699 Posts

Profile of Regan
Dennis, you've been a bad boy!

Funny stuff!


Mister Mystery
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Loyal user
236 Posts

Profile of gandolf
Hee, hee, hee. Funny!
The Magic Cafe Forum Index » » Now that’s funny! » » Bored? Here's how to prevent it. (0 Likes)
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