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The Magic Cafe Forum Index » » Now that’s funny! » » Fish Jokes. (0 Likes) Printer Friendly Version

Rob Johnston
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Inner circle
Utah
2060 Posts

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I know all of the "fowl" chicken jokes, hare raising bunny jokes, etc.

But I feel there is a lack of Fish Jokes...any help here guys? I don't mean to tip the scales..but please.....ummm...ok that one was bad.
"Genius is another word for magic, and the whole point of magic is that it is inexplicable." - Margot Fonteyn
Marvello
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Inner circle
It's amazing how little I can say in
1490 Posts

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Why are fish so smart?
Because they live in schools.

What part of a fish weighs the most?
The scales.

What does a fish say when it swims into a wall?
Dam!

How could the shrimp afford to buy a house?
He prawned everything!

1st kipper: 'Smoking's bad for you'
2nd kipper: 'It's OK, I've been cured'

What do you call a fish with no eyes?
Fsh!

Why did the fish cross the ocean?
To get to the other tide!

How do you tell whether you have a boy shark or a girl shark?
You give it a fish - if he eats it, it's a boy - if she eats it, it's a girl.

Where do you see a man eating fish?
In a restaurant.

---------------------------

Little Tim was in the garden filling in a hole when his neighbor peered over the fence. Interested in what the cheeky-faced youngster was up to, he politely asked, "Whatcha doing, Tim?" "My goldfish died," replied the boy tearfully, without looking up. "And I've just buried him." The neighbor was concerned. "That's an awfully big hole for a goldfish, isn't it?" Tim patted down the last heap of earth then replied, "That's because he's inside your cat."
Never criticize someone else until you have walked a mile in their shoes. Then, when you do criticize them, you will be a mile away from them and you will have their shoes.
Bill Ligon
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A sure sign of a misspent youth:
6437 Posts

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How do you keep fish from smelling?

Cut off their noses!
Author of THE HOLY ART: Bizarre Magick From Naljorpa's Cave. NOW IN HARDCOVER! VIEW: <BR>www.lulu.com/content/1399405 ORDER: http://stores.lulu.com/naljorpa
<BR>A TASSEL ON THE LUNATIC FRINGE
joseph
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Eternal Order
Please ignore my
17028 Posts

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What whizzes along a riverbed on three wheels?
A motor-Pike and a side-Carp.
......
"Everything should be made as simple as possible, but no simpler." (Einstein)...
Weatherbee
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Lakeland, Central FL
21 Posts

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Q: Why do they cut the heads off sardines?

A: So they don't bite each other in the can!
joseph
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Eternal Order
Please ignore my
17028 Posts

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Who robs banks and squirts ink? Billy the Squid.
Where do you go to weigh whales? At a whaleweigh station ...
"Everything should be made as simple as possible, but no simpler." (Einstein)...
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