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rtgreen Inner circle Portland, Oregon 1322 Posts |
Hi everyone,
I am about to do a postcard mailing promoting my Birthday business. I would like to get any feedback from you before I spend the money on printing these. The back of the cards will be left blank and printed as needed with my specific sales message. Any comments are welcome. Here is the file: http://birthdaymagic.smallmiraclesentert......card.pdf Thanks, Richard |
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DanielSteep Inner circle 1409 Posts |
I like it! Good Work!
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flourish dude Inner circle from ? But I know where I am going! 1195 Posts |
What is it that you want the people reading the card to get. The fact that you jokes are clean? Is that really a problem in your area? With postcards space is limited so you need to make each word count. I would not focus on what your doing at the party but what everyone will get from you being at the party. You are selling an experience. Anyone one can do what you listed. What makes you different, why should they hire you?
Nothing of the same will bring any change, take action today!
Just taking a step, is a step in the right direction because when you stop working, your dream dies. www.magicalmemories.us |
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HypnotizeAmerica Veteran user 399 Posts |
Take the show time of of it - what if I want a 45 minute show? Let you qualify them when they call - not by a postcard. Plus you can always upsell.
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rtgreen Inner circle Portland, Oregon 1322 Posts |
Actually, I get a lot of questions about making balloon animals. For a while, I was just doing it as part of the show, but would end up staying extra time so every kid would get one. Now I charge extra for staying late. I still make a balloon hat for the birthday child, but I want the parents to be aware balloon animals is an option.
As far as mentioning that the language is respectful and family friendly, it addresses a comment I hear from many parents I talk with. (More than you would expect, so I believe it must be a concern) Many parents tell me the last time they saw a magician at a party, they were disappointed in how the performer treated the children - either talking down to them or making fun of them. I think this must be because they saw a magician who was not professional and who underestimated the techniques needed to entertain children. Since it is a concern, I figured I would address it up front. Thanks for the input, I'm going to re-think the copy and do some rewriting tonight. I seem to always have trouble pinpointing good benefits as opposed to features. (In other words, most of the time my brain is way too logical for my own good ) Thanks, Richard |
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kenscott Inner circle 1869 Posts |
I think it may be a bit wordy. Also the other side of your postcard does it have your contact? I notice it is on the bottom but keep in mind sometimes when post cards go through the postal machines they get stamped on or even covered on the bottom which in your case your contact info will not be able read.
I too think I would take the time off it. 30 mins. does not seem like a lot of time to some parents. I like the "Best Birthday party ever" headline but I think I it might be better at the top. Goodluck hope it works out for you! Ken |
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flourish dude Inner circle from ? But I know where I am going! 1195 Posts |
If you have a hard time with the benefit try this,
List all the features then next to the features write what benefit they get from that feature. Now you have a list of benefits!
Nothing of the same will bring any change, take action today!
Just taking a step, is a step in the right direction because when you stop working, your dream dies. www.magicalmemories.us |
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WolfgangWollet Loyal user 209 Posts |
I am not a native English speaker but is "theaterful" really a recognized word in English? Of course I know what you are trying to say but it seemed odd to me and I could not find it in Webster.... Am I wrong?
Another thing that I found interesting is that the guest of honor will be given a book of card tricks. I am not sure how old a birthday kid in your show is going to be but I am sure that younger kids will not find that book useful. Also I would be less specific as to the book title. Maybe the book goes out of print and you have to substitute. I think to say "a gift for the guest of honor" would be sufficient and keep them guessing. I very much like the "family-friendly" note on the card. I have seen a clown work "blue" in a birthday party here in town and if I were to hire a magician or clown for a kids party I would inquire about that. Design looks good to me. |
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Wayne Brockway Regular user Michigan, U.S.A. 104 Posts |
Richard,
I would place The Best Birthday Ever at the top of the card, along with your contact information, place the make your childs party the last line running along the bottom of the card. Remove the detailed wordy information that you use clean humor. You can relay that using just the words Family-Friendly. I'm not sure I would leave the back side of the card blank. This seems like a waste of unused space. I feel you should keep the show length information. Wayne... |
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rtgreen Inner circle Portland, Oregon 1322 Posts |
Just to clarify, I don't intend to leave the backs blank, but to print it at a separate time. The front of the card will remain the same, so I want to save money by printing in a larger quantity, but the back side will be printed in smaller batches with a more specific sales message (probably just run through my office printer when addresses are added. On the back I will specify the price point for the 30-minute show.
Thanks for all the input everyone. I really appreciate it! Richard |
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Wayne Brockway Regular user Michigan, U.S.A. 104 Posts |
Richard,
One more thought. What if I have only nine guests. Will you perform for my child, or will I need to make sure I have a minimun of ten guests? Wayne... |
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rtgreen Inner circle Portland, Oregon 1322 Posts |
Good point Wayne.
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Christopher Starr Inner circle Heart of America 1850 Posts |
Cute card. Hope it pays off for you.
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flourish dude Inner circle from ? But I know where I am going! 1195 Posts |
Questions to ask yourself before you write any sales copy.
1. What are the goals of your copy 2. How does this copy fit in the bigger picture of your marketing plan. 3. What is in it for the customer. 4. What are my customers hopes. 5. What are my customers fears. 6. What do I want my customers to do after reading the copy. 7. Why would they choose me over competing product or services. 8. What are my strongest features and benefits. 9. How do they buy from me 10. Why would someone NOT buy from me. 11. How will I measure the success of the copy. Always write from the clients view. You want to satisfy thier desires, even if they don't know it is a desire of thiers. With this in mind start to write. The three basic building blocks: 1.Headline with your strongest benefit. (Satisfy a desire) 2.Body that presents facts, proof that support your claim or benefits. Settles fears, tells them why your product is better. 3.Call to action. (tell them what to do next) I hope this helps. It is hard to tell you what to write because we have not seen your product. We don't know what you offer. What are your strengths, what makes you different then the magician next door. That is why you must awnser these on your own.
Nothing of the same will bring any change, take action today!
Just taking a step, is a step in the right direction because when you stop working, your dream dies. www.magicalmemories.us |
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Bill Hegbli Eternal Order Fort Wayne, Indiana 22797 Posts |
The card is a wonderful creation, but I do not think it will pull any business for you. As a performer you are selling you, not a drawing of a kid magician. The card should say who, what, where, how, these are the question all sales ads should answer.
You want YOUR picture on the card. Who are they getting this card from and who will they be hiring. I think is okay to give a suggested act length in a promo. I sent a computer printed colorful post card out, would you believe 10% were sent to me by the post office. No one every looked at the post card, even the postman delivered the card to me, when it was clear that the side with the stamp is the person to whom receives the card. So I had to put delivered to wrong address and put them back in the mail. Talk about a was messed up promotion piece. So do not put your address on the promotion side of the Post Card. A picture post card works best with the post office, picture on one side and the back has half address and half text to tell about you. Yes, there is less room, but it will save you a lot of money in postage and cards with stickers and stamps all over the thing. I suggest you just try a test first, to see if they will go through the post office okay. Lastly, your card is selling what you will give them, not what you will provide and how you will enrich them by hiring you. As a matter of fact, you do not mention fees at all, I think you should at least suggest you are doing this for a fee, but maybe you are not, in that case forget this suggestion. If you are going after birthday parties, then state it, 'the best birthday party ever' is not stating that, but it say you went to a very good birthday party. Have you target marketed your group to send these to. Have you listed all the births in the past 5 to 10 years and keep data base of addresses and people to send them to. How are you going to find families with children. Good luck in your promoting! |
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rtgreen Inner circle Portland, Oregon 1322 Posts |
Quote:
On 2006-07-17 17:18, wmhegbli wrote: What a great idea! Another one of those things that sound so obvious after I hear it, but never occured to me before. Thanks! Richard |
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rtgreen Inner circle Portland, Oregon 1322 Posts |
By the way, I have made some changes to the copy of the post card. Here they are:
http://birthdaymagic.smallmiraclesentert......card.pdf Thanks, Richard |
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flourish dude Inner circle from ? But I know where I am going! 1195 Posts |
79.95?????? WOW! That is really low! First thing, I Think you need to raise your prices. I have listed a bucnh of things to do before you write your copy. Did you do them? Am I wasting my time? What are yout trying to do with this card?
Nothing of the same will bring any change, take action today!
Just taking a step, is a step in the right direction because when you stop working, your dream dies. www.magicalmemories.us |
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rtgreen Inner circle Portland, Oregon 1322 Posts |
Hi Bill,
Actually, those changes were made before I read your last message. You are definitely not wasting your time. I intended to say this is still not a final version and there are a lot of suggestions I hadn't implimented yet. Yes, my price is pretty low right now, but the show is still a little rough. It is certainly professional, but I'm not happy charging more for the time being. The price will be going up later this year to $125, but for now I think I'm being fair. My main goal with the card is to experiment and learn about generating business. I am very good at putting together entertaining shows and I am very good with my performance skills, but I am pretty bad at generating business. I am using the birthday party shows to learn these skills. I appreciate the help and will have something a little better in the next day or so. In the meantime, please continue to make suggestions. I am paying attention and finding them very helpful. If you like, please feel free to PM me or e-mail me at rtgreen8972@msn.com if you would like more details. Thanks, Richard |
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flourish dude Inner circle from ? But I know where I am going! 1195 Posts |
If you think 79.95 is fair for what you offer then who am I to argue! I would say 125.00 is good starting point for you now. Keep this in mind your copy should be intended to do 1 of 3 things. That is lead them to something like a website or call for more information, build a relationship, or to make the sale. What do you want your piece to do? With a postcard you have little room for a lot of copy. This is personal but I would not put my price on the postcard. With a general card like this you want them to call you. What if they are 1 hour away? What if they want you to do more than an hour, what if they have 300 kids?? lots to think about.
Nothing of the same will bring any change, take action today!
Just taking a step, is a step in the right direction because when you stop working, your dream dies. www.magicalmemories.us |
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