On a side note, I've been doing the Invisible Deck trick lately to much success. What I do is keep a spare 'normal' deck in my pocket, then after putting the cards away if someone asks to see them I simply reach back into my pocket and pull out the regular deck. They can look at that all day and I think it really adds to the effect.

unless they are still holding the card "they" turned upside down...

There's one big advantage to performing for family and friends: you can condition them over time and many performances.

In the beginning, use clean tricks only - let them get used to the fact that every time they grab your cards/props/whatever, there's nothing to find.

Your effects may not be that impressive to them, but look at it as an investment in time... once they're completely used to the fact that grabbing your props is pointless, gradually start introducing gimmicks.

Because they're friends and family, it doesn't matter if you don't blow them away on the first go - you will have countless opportunities to amaze them in the future. Just make sure they don't feel the need to stampede all over your props by limiting yourself until they're properly conditioned.

Also, I suggest only doing magic when requested to. You want to avoid friends and family members rolling their eyes whenever you pull out a deck of cards in the middle of a conversation. You can of course steer the conversation a little, but make absoutely sure they want to see a trick before you do one. Otherwise it is just a waste of your energy... and the art.

I know I'm going to get an e-scalding for this, but if you trust them, then I see no problem in letting a close family member of friend see it. unless it could ruin your career or some situation like that

I usually explain that the biggest joy if to be amazed. Once they understand how things work, the joy will be gone forever . . .

Not an e-scalding, but a different perspective: you're not just giving away your own personal secrets - you're giving away secrets invented by other magicians and princples used by fellow performers. Most of the time, they're not really yours to share with the world - so don't think too lightly about exposure.

I think in the arena of the family and friends often times it is a great opportunity to practice patience and creativity. Most often the patience is the lacking quality. Planting something ahead of time or planning something for weeks or even months can really lead to a miracle. Example: say your going to do the ID. Leave the same type of deck(only non gaffed) at their house for a few weeks or even months. The day
of the trick sit down and talk a while. Then ask if them if you can use their cards.
Only have your wife go get them ( say out of the drawer) and she switches the id deck in and pockets the regular deck. After the trick, hand the deck to your wife and she pulls another switch. Nobody will want to see the cards. In their minds you never had an opportunity to manipulate anything and it was their own cards. I think the more willing you are to go to extreme lengths the more magical effects tend to be. I tend to like the challenge of tough family members.

regards
DC

When they ask to see your props..simply ask to see their "Magicians Card". Of course they do not have one. Then say that you are sworn not to show or reveal any items of magic to anyone other than a magician who posesses a Magicians Card. If they insist just tell them that you have an application for a card and the application fee is $100 and you will discuss it with them after the performance.... act very serious about this. If you are still interested after the performance please see me for the application. I would be only to happy to sponser you.

I know what they'd say "Let's see yours!" (Does SAM or IBM issue cards?)

Yes, on both counts, as does the FCM.

For me... I am mainly a sleight of hand typa guy.. So for the most part..everythign can be grabbed from me.. But I do occasionaly used the "gimmic" stuff to give myself a break.

But I think this is a matter of judgement on our part. First off and I know I saw it in here somewhere..it is very much correct that you will get folks grabbing your stuf MORE from family and friends than you would strangers. Family and friends are already in "your circle" they know you..so they think/feel they can get away with this sort of behavior. Strangers tend to be not so grabby for respect.

When I am going to do some tricks for family and friends I pretty much already know their habits. So in this case I will do effects which can be grabbed, yanked from my claws and examined. I will prepare for this situation. But I may use 1 or 2 gimmic'd effects. But will throw them in after a series of items that can be grabbed. If I am going to do a set of say 8-10 effects.. if they grab hold of 4-5 of them.. they are usually pretty grabbed out and will feel everything is on the up and up and give up.

Also, is to maybe set yourself a stage. Such as a close-up mat..and make clear that this is YOUR performing stage and YOUR area and to not jump up on the stage.

Hope I helped a lil bit

I have only worked (out) with cards for a couple of months and have not performed for anyone. I may never after reading this.

But a couple of things occurs to me:

What about having a cleanup act, let us call it a parachute trick that you can go into at the end in order to clean out the gaffs or whatever. It could be any trick you know that lets you palm a few cards in the setup, get something into your pocket, into a card box... whatever. Then if someone gets grabby, just jokingly say something positive about their enthusiasm while you pull your cards back towards you. Say "just let me finish my incredibly impressive routine first and then you can do a full CSI afterwards if you want. I won't even leave any fingerprints..." Say anything, just something friendly and funny which lets you finish whatever you have to do. Pull parachute cord. They won't know that it is a separate module. A simple cut of the deck may be enough.

Of course... if you are performing often for friends and family, you might not be able to do the same escape twice. But do you really have to? They are your friends. Merrily tread them rudely if they do it to you.

And in my opinion exposure has little to do with it in case something goes wrong. What is the worst that can happen? That they are going to tell everyone at the beauty parlor that a sensational new technique has now been invented which lets you pick up two cards instead of one, and that this will somehow seep into the media? The worst that will happen is that they will ruin part of the experience for themselves by seeing that "something funny went on". It will not be more dramatic than that, I think.

You could also become friendly sarcastic and hand them the entire deck. "And now my great and enthusiastic mentor will finish the act for us... please, Sensei... go ahead".

I'm more worried about strangers in a closeup street kind of situation. I have experience with grabby people from street photography and video production. That is a little different because half of the hecklers hope that they will get to be on tv (and prefer to make this debut yelling while waving a beer bottle around and leaning half way out of a moving car), but it has still led to me being countless times in a position of being surrounded by grabby people.

Generally speaking... kids are worst. Especially in gangs. No fear. One time I thought it would be my end. Second: teenage girls in pairs. They are very cheeky creatures. One is always dominant. The prettier they are, the more used they are to getting away with bad behavior. Teenage boys have never bothered me. Somehow they seem to respect an elder male who can do something they can not. The girls respect nothing. Of the adults, middle aged men are the only ones who may actually reach out and fondle your camera. At least they want to look through it and tell you what they themselves have at home. Women have never done this. I can imagine that women may be more grabby when more magic and emotional things than gadgets are involved. Such as cards. And that men would want to examine props that look mechanical or ask a poker cheat question. Just some nice stereotypics there. Human nature. I know one isn't supposed to notice the differences anymore.

A bit banal, but I think it is most important just to be nice. After all, they are interested in what you do. But it should be possible to hold out and increase their curiosity.

Kenton Knepper has a bit of advice (actually he has a lot of advice) which may work in this case...

When asked to look at something you can try "I could let you look at it, but do you really think it would do you any good?" His specific example in Wonder Words is about shuffling a deck after the card has been returned. He says that this almost always results in the spectator saying, "No, not really" and he can go on.

I don't know if this would work with family and friends, but with other folks it seems to work fine.

Well first of all family and friends are the worst peple to perform for. Avoid them whenever possible. They will not give you honest feed back. They will always say you did a good job unless you really screw up. I will only perform for them if they ask me to. This way they are going to respect your performance. If you are aproaching family a friends saying hey want to see a trick? Then you are opening the door to get hassled.
You are a professional entertainer and that needs to be established in order to get respect from your audience. For someone to grab your props or hassle you durring your performance is extremely rude. You have all the right in the world to let them know that. I don't mind someone reaching for something but if someone just insists on continuing then they are being rude. Usually the rest of the audience will stop them. If they continue I will stop right in the middle of the effect and let them know they are being rude and that they are ruining the show for everyone else. I have even walked away before. The crowd will often deal with this person then. The person has always come over and apologized for their behavior after being ripped apart by the audience. Now this happens very rarely but when someone does cross the line don't be afraid to simply just stop and let them know they are being rude and if need be excuse yourself politely and go to the next group or table. Believe me if someone is so rude that you have to leave, then their group is not going to be happy with them. I would not want to be that guy.

I had this 2 but since they r my family members and the ones I use a sguinea pig I just let them see it. They know the secret but everytime ive friends or friends of my parents coming over my rents ask if I do some tricks. They knwo who to keep a secret and let the others enjoy the magic. Problem solved.

My parents and brother are only annoying when I want to show them something in private so I quit doing that haha

Well since my kids are budding magicians my wife has to put up with a lot of "practice routines" and since she is my wife I let her in on some effects but not others. I once had a co-worker grab a gimmick deck out of my hands and proceed to show everyone. I told her that the was the last trick she would every see me do as it was beyond rude. It has been about 6 months now and I still do not do any magic when she is around, and other co-workers have asked to her leave so I could entertain them. I think sometimes you need to be straight forward with people and be upfront with them right from the start. Nobody at work would even dare try and take one of my props without being asked to now as I said if it happened again my magic would leave the office.

Brad couldn't be more right about this. There are certain familiars for each of us (cousins, in my case) that will automatically assume that they can see your props for a better chance of "getting in on the secret." For these crowds, I ONLY do tricks that leave me 100% clean. That way, they can grab, examine, inspect, etc. whatever they see and not figure out the illusion. I then save the gimmicked props for shows. And if I ever put on a show for my cousins, I make it formal enough that they won't feel polite yelling "let me see that!"

Damkat, I feel your pain. The same sort of thing has happened to me with coworkers, too. However, one thing I've learned in my short magical education is that it's never the animal's fault (OK, I stole that from an animal trainer). When a spectator does something like that, I treat it as a mistake on my part rather than theirs. First, because it's practical. I can't change them, but I can change me. Second, because the danger is always present. And you have to be able to deal with it. Closeup isn't safe. Be alert for the possibility and you can take steps to avoid it. I may appear casual to my audience (at least, I hope so), but if someone were to make a move for my deck, I'm ready to pounce like a tiger. I learned this the hard way!

This is all part of the greater strategy of outage. What are you going to do when something goes wrong? First thing is to try to avoid the possibility, by practice and by being ready to pounce. But the second is to be able to handle whatever comes up. No one's paying you, and no one owes you anything (even simple politeness is too much for some people, it appears). What do you do when someone yells out "Oh, I know this one!" (and then proceeds to prove it)? What happens if a spectator drops your stack on the floor? There are a thousand things you need to be able to respond to, above and beyond presentation and technique. That's what makes closeup so exciting to perform - you never know what's going to happen.

However, I'm not saying that you didn't take the correct action with regard to your rude spectator. The ultimate way to handle a bad spectator is to not let them spectate. I'm just saying that maybe you shouldn't get so worked up about it. These things will happen, and more likely than not, the spectator didn't even realize the enormity of her sin. And putting the fear of God into your audience may not further the persona you're trying to put across. Or maybe it might!

///ark

You might simply say, "Mom (or whoever )...this is magic. Of course there's a trick, but I don't want you to know what it is. If you want me to perform for you, you have to be cool about it. No more grabbing."

When I've had someone says, "that's a trick", I just say, "Of course it is. You don't think I'm trying to convince you that I can change the laws of physics do you? But I'm not going to let you figure it out and spoil the fun". Then they laugh, and I either do the next trick, or we change the subject.

I suggest you end clean and save moments where things can't be examined for more formal occasions.

I would advise against ever admitting you merely do tricks. Your goal is to make a strong emotional impact, intellectually they know you can't change the laws of physics but you can still reach them emotionally.