Awwww, maaaannn, this was the last thing I wanted to see here...

I just now got on the Café to chill out a bit, okay?. See, Donna and my Mom (who's 94 and refers to herself as “la viejita,” which is a loose Spanish equivalent of “the LOL”) are downstairs watching Survivor. I hate that show. I hate it with a purple passion.

Then I check out my usual forums, and eventually wind up here. First thing I see is the thing on Universal Rules For Cats. Our cat, Burt, is exactly like that. He could have written the thing.

Then there's sixteen pages. Like, do I feel like reading sixteen pages of people in a bad mood?

I think I'll just grab my three Grumpy(TM) hats, put on my Grumpy(TM) T-shirt, and get my Grumpy(TM) action figure, and go sit in the corner and growl.

What? You don't get “action figure?” Look... guys don't play with dolls, okay? We engineer and study possible real-life situations with action figures, okay? GOT IT?

Geez.

So I'll probably be sitting there with all my Grumpy(TM) role-model stuff, and Burt will come along and look at me with those big green eyes like, hey, dude, what planet are you from, and I'll just get in a worse mood.

And come back here and drivel some more...

There's is no rule that you have to read
all 16 pages...

I think we need to put some guidlines here.

like the fact the bad mood is at the moment
of the time. not necessary all through the
16 pages.

See, that's what I get for not reading all sixteen pages... I didn't realize that.

Yah, that's what we need. More f-in' rules. Brilliant. Now the morons who want to complain about old complaints can whine there a**es off. Great idea Mai-Ling!

P****d me off.

GRRRRRR

It's still flat!

3 C02 shots and it's still flat. It's almost enough to make a grown man play with a doll ;-)

GRRRR

I hate flat dolls.

Maybe you should drop in some Mentos.

What would the Mento's do?
Make the doll unflat Josh.

you should know since you like
limbs and multiple selves.

Not the doll, the beer. Haven't you seen that video where they drop Mentos into Pepsi and the stuff explodes? On second thought maybe an exploding keg of flat beer won't improve acmp's situation. How about Alka Seltzer?

No, I wouldn't know.

I don't drink.

Don't you get thirsty?

I don't drink alcohol.

Not even Bourbon?

Nope.

Like you marshall I don't drink alcohol, but sometimes when I am in a really BAD MOOD I still tink how much better I would feel. John Barleycorn must die!

Who is john barleycorn?

"John Barleycorn must die" is a very old poem. I have no idea who wrote it, but it dates back to the pre-industrial age, when most people made their living as farmers. The poem is about the average man's efforts to stop drinking grain alcohol (made from barley) and so the name of the anthropomorphic character who was the embodiment the evils of getting drunk. At the end of the poem, the last line is "And little sir John and the nut brown bowl, with his brandy in his glass... and little sir John and the nut brown bowl proved the stronger man at last"

The poem would have been long forgotten except that Steve Winwood, when he was with the band "Traffic" made a song of it with the same title as the poem. It is a very pleasent sounding song with some nice flute work going on.

So basically don't drink the grainshine.

Or flat beer.