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The Magic Cafe Forum Index » » Now that’s funny! » » Lessons we have learn from Horror Movies. (0 Likes) Printer Friendly Version

drkptrs1975
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North Eastern PA
452 Posts

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Here are great tips we have learn from Horror Movies.

17. When it appears that you have killed the monster, *never* check to see if it's really dead.


16. If your companions suddenly begin to exhibit uncharacteristic behavior such as hissing, fascination for blood, glowing eyes, increasing hairiness, and so on, get away from them as fast as possible.


15. Do not search the basement, especially if the power has just gone out.


14. Beware of strangers bearing tools such as chainsaws, staple guns, hedge trimmers, electric carving knives, combines, lawnmowers, butane torches, soldering irons, band saws, or any device made from deceased companions.


13. If appliances start operating by themselves, move out.


12. Stay away from certain geographical locations, some of which are listed here: Amityville, Elm Street, Transylvania, Nilbog (you're in trouble if you recognize this one), the Bermuda Triangle, or any small town in Maine.


11. If your children speak to you in Latin or any other language which they should not know or if they speak to you using a voice which is other than their own, shoot them immediately. It will save you a lot of grief in the long run. NOTE: It will probably take several hundred rounds to kill them, so be prepared!


10. If you're running from the monster, expect to trip or fall down at least twice, more if you are of the female persuasion. Also note that, despite the fact that you are running and the monster is merely shambling along, it's still moving fast enough to catch up with you.


9. When you have the benefit of numbers, *never* pair off and go it alone.


8. Do not take *anything* from the dead.


7. As a general rule, don't solve puzzles that open portals to Hell.


6. Don't fool with recombinant DNA technology unless you're sure you know what you are doing.


5. Never stand in, on, above, below, beside, or anywhere near a grave, tomb, crypt, mausoleum, or other house of the dead.


4. Never read a book of demon summoning aloud, even as a joke.


3. If your car runs out of gas at night, do not go to the nearby deserted-looking house to phone for help.


2. If you're searching for something which caused a noise and find out that it's just the cat, *leave the room immediately if you value your life.*


and last but not least...


1. If you find a town which looks deserted, it's probably for a reason. Take the hint and stay away!
Wolflock
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South Africa
2255 Posts

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Do not pour water on cute looking critters.

If it glows, moves on it's own accord, or anything to that effect. Decide on taking that trip out of town that you have been planning for months.

Any insect, animal, creature which is stalking you through a built up area has been genetically altered and is more intelligent than einstein. You don't stand a chance against it. Unless you have dashingly good looks and have the heightened ability to ask, "What's wrong?" While looking back.

The most important of all. Ignore all rules which get told to you in warning or else you wont have a movie. Smile
Wolflock
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Member of JMC (Johannesburg Magic Circle)
South Africa
Destiny
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Puppets are not the cute cheeky things our Ventriloquist friends pretend they are...
Rob Johnston
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Utah
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ALWAYS call for backup.
"Genius is another word for magic, and the whole point of magic is that it is inexplicable." - Margot Fonteyn
cougar261084
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If you're the quiet type amongst your group --> you die first
Mike T
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If you do survive, you can expect more of the same one year on.
It's times like this I wish I'd listened to what my Grandad used to say...
Wolflock
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South Africa
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No matter what you think. The bad guy cannot die.
Wolflock
Pro Magician & Escapologist
Member of JMC (Johannesburg Magic Circle)
South Africa
Bob Clayton
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Quote:
On 2006-10-19 10:09, plasticdestiny wrote:
Puppets are not the cute cheeky things our Ventriloquist friends pretend they are...


LOL!
MagiClyde
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Columbus, Ohio
871 Posts

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Remain a virgin, no matter how tempted you are by the opposite (or even same) sex. Once you do, you're as good as dead.

If you're a male, pray quickly to become female, as they are the only ones able to defeat these monsters...especially ones found in dreams and having long blades for fingernails.
Magic! The quicker picker-upper!
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