[quote]All this to say... a 25 year old man, alone at a cocktail party with 50 year old + people, trying to blend in with cocktail party small talk is difficult. C'est tout [unquote]

I'm nearly 40. I regularly do shows for people in their 60's and can hold my end in a conversation with them. More unlikely but also true, I regularly do shows and converse with 18-21 year olds. The secret is to be interested in what they are and what they do.

Nigel

It really is about showing respect to gain respect back.

Kyle

Well thank God you two jumped in so Eric dosn't think I am making him feel bad.

Eric they are right. It can be done, pretty easily.

I am glad to see you have picked up the book. Study it. If you want more suggestions let me know.

My pleasure Danny boy. I got your back my friend. Merry Christmas to you and to all the Café folks. I wish you much success in 2007 =)

Kyle

Great topic guys.

In my opinion, just blending in as another guest is not only a bad idea, it's a little bit insulting. If you are performing at a private party, don't you think the guests would be a bit more intrigued to watch you? "Wow, Bob went through all the trouble to hire a professional entertainer, just for us?!?!" I have been asked to do this several times and I always turn them around. I don't want people thinking that I'm just another guest who had one too many and now I think I'm the life of the party. You should also think twice before you perform as Santa, Easter Bunny, or any corporate mascot. There can be tons of logistical problems. Perhaps the greatest is that NO ONE will know who you are. If they can't get a hold of the organizer of the event, your competition may get another gig just because you were wearing a silly outfit instead of being yourself. (Of course, if you always wear a silly outfit, this may not be a problem.)

Magicians often complain that the toughest part of the job is approaching a group of people. It's actually not that bad at all. A good host who hired you will tell people that there is live professional entertainment. Once they find out how good you are, they should be interested; perhaps even seeking you out. But, as Tommy Wonder once said, "Of course, this is only necessary if you have a good act." Used in this context, I think it could mean that if you present yourself as a professional, you had better be good.

When I'm at one of my resturant gigs and a private party has taken up one of the rooms, I introduce myself to the one in charge. I offer my services, but if they want me to leave them alone, I do. I just request that if they would like me to perform, they tell everyone that I am a professional entertainer who works at the restaurant. Again; not some lush who wants to show you something my uncle Frank showed me when I was 12. Many people have never really seen decent close-up magic in person. I want to act as professional as possible while still having a good time with them.

When my performing time is up, I usually hang around and chit chat a bit. I don't drink though, I may have water or soda. I'm a cheap date these days and it doesn't take much to get me light-headed. They always offer me some food, but I don't want to get sauce or whatever all over my tux, it's not the cleaning bill that bothers me, I don't want to look like a tool.

As far as the arguement that if your personality will get you gigs as opposed to your magic, I can say in my opinon it's a mix. Maybe 60% personality, and 40% magic. I know magicians that are MUCH better than I am, but there personalities are just horrible. In this sense, magic is just like any other business. Would you do business with ANYONE who was a jerk? No matter how good a Dr. is, if he's rude, I wouldn't go to him. People may be watching the magic, but they remember ME, and that's what I want. I give them something that no other entertainer can, Pepka.

Some people get the idea that they are paying you, and that they have some say in things.

Stupid customers.

In my opinion, yes Danny exactly. But I don't think you meant that. It's just that I don't want to play someone else, I'd rather play myself. (Which of course is better than playin WITH....ummmm, nevermind.)

Pepka I would seriously recomend reading the books recomended. It really opens your eyes.

There are some really excellent books out there and some mentioned in this thread. I have read a lot but there are some I want to pick up and read as well. I am currently reading some books by j Conrad levinson and really enjoying them as I plan on using some of that information for my 2007 marketing campaign I will be starting soon.

Kyle

Here's a thought
I did walk around at a party recently, and a US congressman came up to me, and introduced himself. I told him I was only the magician, he then told me that we were the only two men at the party wearing a tie, so he just assumed I was the host, or at least someone important.

Danny
You mean I can get paid hundreds of dollars for just being charming?
Al Angello

What al says gos for me as well. It may just be me but I always strive to look professional in every way and I always try to dress one level up from the folsk I am perfomring for or the situation I am at. I just always strive to be a professional no matter where I am at and I want the folks to know I am the magician.

I have seen and worked with Al many times and he always looks professional and professionally dressed every single time. To me that is a show of professionalism and I respect him for doing so. before he even begins or does anything, you just know he is a class act from the way he dresses and presnets himself. To me it is a continuation of an overall brand impression.

Kyle

I've actually read the Carnegie book. This topic however is totally non-negotiable with me. I am myself. A professional sleight of hand entertainer. Not just some guy at the party who wants to show the guests something cool. If they have a problem with that, they won't be my client. In fact, this actually happened tonight. I just came home from a party thrown by the manager of one of the restaurants I perform in. She asked me if I would bring a deck of cards. I said of course. As I mingled with people, they asked where I worked I simply explained I was a magician. Before I left, the hostess called everyone into the living room and said I was going to do a few tricks. She explained to all of them that this is what I do for a living and they should all watch very intently becaus I was good. Not only that, but this is a night off for me, and I was doing a few tricks as a favor to her. I did 3 card tricks, culminating with card on the ceiling for them. They were all VERY gracious and in between tricks, you could hear a pin drop.

We may disagree on this point, but this is my opinion. I don't claim to be an expert, (or even play one on TV.)

Kyle
Thank you. My wife picks out all of my clothes.
MERRY CHRISTMAS
Al Angello

Al,

hehe maybe she shops where my wife shops. =)

Kyle

You already know it brother.

Pepka, forget reading any of the books. They are not going to help. Good luck.

Pepka
I will be in your neighborhood New Years eve. I'm working the First Night celebration in Hummelstown, Pa. from 9:00 pm to 12:00 midnight. It will be easy to spot me just look for the fire juggler, who's weraing a top hat, and tails.

Yes my wife bought my costume.

NO I WILL NOT BE BLENDING IN WITH THE OTHER GUESTS ON NEW YEARS EVE.
Al Angello

Cool Al! I'll be at one of my restaurants working from 6-midnight. I had worked strolling for the city of Harrisburg last year and nearly froze my fingertips off. I told them when they have something inside they can use me for to give me a call. I could have also worked at my restaurant in Hershey, but didn't feel like driving that far that night.

Break a leg and Happy New Year Al!

Well I am done the book............ What an excellent read...I catch myself trying to do something everyday (in fact several things) taken from this book... I can see how this would help in everyday in your dealings with people..Thanks for the reccomendation

The greatest performer in the world will not get repeat booking if they are an arse to deal with.

interpersonal skills are essential to the long term success of any business not just magicians.

Plenty of performers with not much talent have got allot of work because they are really nice people to deal with.

The real trick is to be both a great entertainer and a great person to deal with.

If the client is willing to pay the money I quote- I'll do pretty much what they want (with the exception of dressing like Dracular or a clown>>pretty much anything that requires face paint)

However- I will explain that because of my loudness----it may not work for the entire evening

Communication is the lubricant of your enquiry- You muct communicate to the client if something will work or not and how much it will work