I saw one of those lists of you know your a ________ when for magicians. I thought it was hilarious, but believe it or not, I can't find it on Google! Does anyone have it?

...you are the only one driving to work while practicing palming a quarter.

...you try to teach your cat to jump through burning hoops like Sigfried and Roy's tigers.

...your best pick up line begins with "Pick a card".

...you pull five bucks out of your waitresses ear to leave a tip.

...you just bought more toys at the dollar store than your kids, because of a trick you plan on making.

...you always walk around with three different decks of cards in your pockets because each one is set up for a different trick.

...you pull the four aces out of the deck ... only to lose them back into the deck ... just so you can find them again!

...you accidentally do a double while playing "Go Fish!".

...every coin that you receive gets "accidentally" palmed.

...you have 101 retorts for the question "How did you do that?"

...you're willing to pay $15 to learn how to make $1 disappear.

...your twin boys are named Sigfried and Roy.

...you go to the S&M store for handcuffs~ but not for the reason they think.

...you are back-ordered for rabbits and mice at the pet store.

...you have more than three decks of cards on you at any given time.

...you introduce your wife as "My assistant."

...someone ask for your card you give them the Ace of Diamonds.

...you see a bag and wonder how long it would take to escape from it.

...you try to teach your cat to jump through burning hoops like Sigfried and Roy's tigers.

...you watch the space shuttle lift off and start thinking of ways to make it disappear.

...you have never been to the loony bin, yet you own a straight jacket.

...no one will play cards with you.

...you have at least eleven fingers.

...you paid $25.00 for a quarter.

...you are playing cards with the guys and when someone asks you to shuffle the deck, you get a blank look on your face and ask "You mean a real shuffle?!"

...asked to shuffle the cards, you have to stop and think how to do a real shuffle.

...people refuse to sit near you because you insist on practicing your passes, palms, doubles and counts even though you don't have a deck in your hands.

...you back-palm your movie ticket and produce it out of thin air.

...you can't stand to play card games because of that tempting deck of cards.

...after viewing magic on TV, everyone in the room looks at you asks, "How'd they do that"? And, all you do is smile and say, "It's really easy if you think about it, but magicians can't tell. "And you're really thinking "How da hell did they do that"?

...you make more "passes" with decks of cards than you do with the ladies.

...you can lose you thumb tip and you visit the magic shop instead of the emergency ward.

...you pay $60.00 for a book and get, possibly, one or two useful things out of it and you're happy.

...you are the only guy dragged into the women's clothing store and not bored to tears because you plant yourself in front of a mirror and check the angles on your coin moves.

...you carry more "office supplies" on you than at your desk. (For the Mentalist).

...you actually have a "use" for rubber cement

...you've actually read all of these lines

:) Skip

...the guys dressed as Star Wars characters are relieved that they aren't the biggest nerds at a family event.

...you cry when your wife washes an empty wallet, left in your pants.

...you drop one coin and two go rolling in opposite directions.

...you rip your pants and dent your car, just by walking next to it.

Josh,

Guys dressed as star wars characters ARE bigger nerds than magicians.

I disagree. The Star Wars fans know they are dressing up and enjoying a pretend fantasy provided by George Lucas. Magicians (many if not most) are so far into denial about what they imagine audiences perceive and how "good they are" or carrying tricks (secretly dressing up) that they probably deserve a new category. The closest I recall is the story of the stockbroker found beaten up in an alley and later found to be wearing a cheerleader's uniform under his suit. Substitute "several decks of cards, wallets and some odd fake coins" and you are on the right track.

I have to admire the folks who get all made up in latex applications during the summer. Still not a plushy fan though but heck, it gets them through the night.

Buzz kill!!

Here are a couple of those lists, zawert:
http://www.themagiccafe.com/forums/viewt......forum=27
http://www.themagiccafe.com/forums/viewt......forum=32

It's funny, a few posts down on the second thread (see above), JAZ lists three more threads on the Café with the same topic. I guess you should have searched here instead of google.

As far as my Star Wars character comment, I have to admit to posting it to get a rise. I performed a walk-around at a cancer walk recently. When some Jedis and Stormtroopers arrived I felt an odd sense of relief.

Notice how we don't have any plushy magicians?

Right? (yes we all know it's supposed be an ie ending )

ROFL

. . . when you're reading this thread when you could be downloading porn.

Sorry, I'm at work and can't even get to YouTube here.

When did they start putting porn on the internet?

Dude, there are pictures of all kinds of food and wide open PCs all over the net.

Josh still hides under his blankets with a flashlight reading his Flosso catalog.

Are you implying that anyone who'd share my bed would have to be a fakir?

You know you're an over the top magician when...

You dead mother comes out of a Temple Of Benares and reads you out.

You know you're an over the top magician when...

...your Zig-Zag requires 3 assistants.

...when you shake someones hand, you palm it and back-clip their thumb.

...you pay $3000.00 for your father's funeral and still have 1..2..3..4..5..$6000.00 left.

When you go to the toilet, cards come out from when you practiced card to mouth.

So THAT'S why it burns when I pee!

When there's an eclipse you try claim responsibility.

H D X F Halloween!

L

Every time somebody asks to borrow some money, you 'accidently' vanish it.
When they ask for it back, you say inoccently say "it vanished".