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The Magic Cafe Forum Index » » Now that’s funny! » » Funny lines by audience members (0 Likes) Printer Friendly Version

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paulapaul
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Nevada
173 Posts

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At the Magic Castle, there used to be a matinee on Sunday for members' kids. Since I rarely worked for kids, I simply hoped that the children would find my act somehow entertaining. After all, how could kids get exited over a fedora, a trenchcoat and a newspaper? As the Peter Gunn music began. and I lowered the paper from in front of my face, I heard the voice of a 11 year old boy shout, "WOW! What a hot number!" What kind of comeback is there for an 11 year old? Nevermind.

Much cuter was the little British boy who was on stage with Lance Burton. After Lance had asked the 6 year old if he was married, or had a girlfriend (no and no), Lance asked, "Well then do you want to meet one of the girls in my show?" The child answered in his perfect little British accent, "Oh,no! We couldn't possibly afford one of those!"
CardTrix
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Springfield, IL
52 Posts

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I actually remember this from many many years ago...

There was a magic show in the center of our local mall for all the kids around X-Mas time. I must've been 5 maybe 6. I was actually selected by the magician, asked to come up on stage to wave the magic wand, but, I was warned that I would need a magic word. Did I have one...yep quite a few but they all didn't work. Of coure the magician helped me out and suggested I tried to say the magic word "Abra Cadabra" backwards. Well I did, and I'm sure you know what came out of my mouth. "Abra Cadabra Backwards" instead of what I'm sure he wanted "Cadabra Abra"...even he got a good laugh out of that.

I guess the old saying is right: Kids say the darndest things!
cfrye
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Portland, Oregon, USA
940 Posts

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Quote:
On 2002-08-20 09:52, paulapaul wrote:
As the Peter Gunn music began. and I lowered the paper from in front of my face, I heard the voice of a 11 year old boy shout, "WOW! What a hot number!" What kind of comeback is there for an 11 year old? Nevermind.


"Good taste. Bad timing."
Sonny Vegas
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Chicago, Illinois - USA
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I'm just revivng this post. I had too good of a laugh not to set this one up again for other newer members.

I asked A lady from the audience to pick a card, she looked at me and said, pointing to her husband, I already picked a card and ended up with a joker.

Another time ...True Story... It wasnt a magic show, but I had a Improv Group and we did Free shows for the elderly. One day we were at a Old Folks home and the wonderful old folks were laughing up a storm, when one of the caretakers noticed a gentleman in the back was not laughing,...as a matter of fact he wasnt breathing either, She wheeled him from the room and noone really noticed except us comedians.
We knew he had passed, but the show must go on.....

It's a bad joke we had amongst ourselves for a while that we were so funny, we were killin' em.
The odds were with us.
Believe in yourself and the magic will come.

www.SonnyVegas.com
www.TheVegasBrothers.com
Brent McLeod
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Quote:
On 2002-02-03 18:15, magiker wrote:
I once did a magical clown show in front of 150 Swedish kids. Now my clown doesn't speak, and at that time when I started performing, my clown pretended to fall asleep standing up; then sink slowly to the floor. The compare said to the kids: How can we wake him up, to which one bright spark shouts out "KICK HIM IN THE B***S".

I had a hard time trying not to laugh



Great story!!

don't we just Love Kids!!!
The Donster
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Sonny sorry to hear about your loss of spectators that way but maybe he died laughing to.
ruaturtle
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Gastonia, NC
113 Posts

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I had a seven year old once ask me, after making flowers appear, to please teach her dad how to do that... "he has to go out and buy them to make my mom stop griping..."
I have found that I do not suffer from insanity... instead I rather enjoy it! : )

Poodle... the other white meat.
God-glorified
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Its been a few years since this post started.........ARe there any new experiences?
Ephes. 2:8-9



For by GRACE are ye saved through faith; and that NOT OF YOURSELVES: it is the gift of God: NOT OF WORKS, lest any man should boast.
Skip Way
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I'm always having kids come up to me and asking me to "make them disappear". I usually play along and make them disappear by closing my eyes. This request reared it's ugly head as I performed at a family reunion a while back...so I made the requisite motions, uttered the requisite words and closed my eyes in a very theatrical manner. The usual protests broke out until I heard a couple of parents gasp and say "Ohmygawd, they're gone!" Other adults caught on and played along. I opened my eyes and looked past the children in shock..."Oh no! I really DID it this time!" This went on for about 15 minutes until I figured out how to bring them back. The amazing thing, from the kids' point of view, was that we could hear them and feel them...but couldn't "see" them! Onlooking adults were literally rolling on the ground in laughter as the kids actually started to believe that they were invisible. When I finally managed to "bring them back" one little 5-year-old girl walks up with her hands on her hips and commands, "Don't you EVER do that to me again!" I wanna hear them explain this one to their therapists in a few years!

:D Skip

I use a very soft, thick rope in my comedy club act. I had a very attractive woman on stage for one of my favorite bits and handed her the rope. She rolls the rope between her fingers, looks out into the audience and shouts, "Honey! This is lots softer than that rope you used last night!" What a laugh! I adapted that line to "I only use rope found in the finest bedrooms of <ritzy part of town>." It's been a part of my act ever since.

:D Skip
How you leave others feeling after an Experience with you becomes your Trademark.

Magic Youth Raleigh - RaleighMagicClub.org
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