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SIX
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I figured it would be helpful to make a thread of all one-liners. I will post some tonight and I will try to get some off the other threads of one-liners. This will be an easy reference for when people want one-liners. So lets just make it simple, post every one you know or have read some where here.

SIX
cartoon cowboy
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Good idea, but maybe it should be categorized. There are threads here on responses to "how did you do that" and "Do that again!", etc. Maybe that's a good jumping off point. Or bad puns for various categories of magic/props.

As soon as you get it going, I'll definitely jump in. Good luck!

- Erick


Posted: Nov 14, 2006 6:58pm
------------------------------------------
Ooh! I thought of a good topic - when a trick goes wrong.
If you have a more sophisticated card crowd, if you mess up in finding a card, you can say "well every 52nd time I do it that should work".

I did a trick once with a clock-face card prediction during a walk-around routine, and messed it up. I said as if scripted, "oh well, one out of every twelve times I do that it should work!". It got the biggest laugh of the night (hopefully not ALL at my expense). In fact, someone who only saw that one 'trick', gave me his card immediately afterwards and asked if I would do some shows for him!

- Erick
Happy Trails,
- CC Smile
Erick Hershey
magic.hersheyarts.com
SIX
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Thanks, I also wnated one-liner insults(its for a specific use). One of my favorites, is .When someone heckles or says magic is fake.."Listen, I don't go to McDonalds and not the mop out of your hand"
Hansen
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But what if the guy doesn't work at McDonalds? What if he's a bad mannered brain surgeon? Insults can be so tricky...
LWright
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I love the one liner I heard in a video once.
It's to the response "How did you do that.."
The guy simply responded "...very well."

Got a good few laughs and provided an answer =)
-Lloyd Wright
"Take what you take, give what you give, just be what you want just as long as it's real.."
chrisgq
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Posted: Nov 16, 2006 3:35pm

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But what if the guy doesn't work at McDonalds? What if he's a bad mannered brain surgeon? Insults can be so tricky...

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Never any problem for The Amazing Jonathon.......lol.
SteveTheMagician
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I'm going to get a catscan to see if I'm clostrophobic
Rebecca Travis
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Hello

Aldo Colonbini has a few books entirely devoted to one-liners! Many of them are very very cheesy and I could never use them, but some are quite funny.

Bye

Rebecca
Ola
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Just do google search for one-liners and you'll get more than you can handle... Listing them all here would be impossible...

http://www.jokesandhumor.com/One_Liners/

Cheers

Ola
http://www.olamagic.com/for_sale.html
You laugh because I'm different. I laugh because you are all the same...
Rebecca Travis
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Thanks Ola, good and free resources! Now I know how Aldo Colombini wrote his books , most of his onliners are there...

*** it, anybody wants to buy some used copies of his book? Smile

Rebecca
Dannydoyle
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Quote:
On 2006-11-19 22:50, chrisgq wrote:
Posted: Nov 16, 2006 3:35pm

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But what if the guy doesn't work at McDonalds? What if he's a bad mannered brain surgeon? Insults can be so tricky...

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Never any problem for The Amazing Jonathon.......lol.


Hang on guys are we posting one liners we have heard other comics and magicians use? No tell me that is NOT what this thread is about please.

If yo uwant to post your OWN one liners then yea go for it but otherwise does nobody but ME see the problem with this idea?
Danny Doyle
<BR>Semper Occultus
<BR>In a time of universal deceit, telling the truth is a revolutionary act....George Orwell
MagicFingers
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One I have used countless times is this: when asked, "Do that again!" I reply, "You gonna buy another ticket?".
Julian Bond
Musician / Magician
The Mac
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I love the coy one liners. The good ol'" stand here ,right over the trap door"
Dannydoyle
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I guess we are posting everyone elses. Regardless if they are currently using them or not.
Danny Doyle
<BR>Semper Occultus
<BR>In a time of universal deceit, telling the truth is a revolutionary act....George Orwell
Eric Buss
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Danny, I can't figure it out... why are magicians known as hacks in the comedy world?

Oh wait, it's because of threads like this.
Dannydoyle
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Yea Eric if you are going to answer your own questions, LOL.

No doubt!

Please preach on sir. Nobody listens to me.
Danny Doyle
<BR>Semper Occultus
<BR>In a time of universal deceit, telling the truth is a revolutionary act....George Orwell
amazingboz
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When I drop something in front of an adult audience I once said " Well at no time will the zipper leave the pants." It save the day for me and actually got several laughs
SIX
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Whoa-whoa, you guys are posting a lot of trash on this thread, which I started. If you have something to say, how about you guys message me and tell me why you guys feel its innapropriate, instead of trashing it.

Im not asking for these one-liners for personal use in my everyday life. Im asking for a specific reason which I will post sense I don't plan on going through with it.

There is a show on MTV called "Your Momma". The main idea of the show is that a bunch of people go on the show and battle it out, going line for line of jokes. Dissing each other and also using "Your momma" jokes. I simply aske because there are a bunch of people on the show using jokes that everyone tells and I thought why isn't there a magician on there, just busting out one-liners.(The idea actually camd from my friend Omar).

If you guys felt that was wrong well then too bad. I don't see the harm in asking so I could try out a show and win. Jokes are made and people tell there friends the joke they heard. A one time use, if some of you guys really feel that bad, I think you should start to try and get that show off the air. Its a bunch of people just telling jokes they heard(some may be original) , but for the most part there not.

Sorry about that rant, but next time just message me directly when you have something negetive to say.

SIX
Dannydoyle
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SIX you didn't do anything wrong. You asked for one liners. PEOPLE started posting one liners from everyone elses act. HMMMM not your fault why PM you?

With as much theft of material as exists today it is in extreamly poor taste to openly discuss others acts online for everyone to copy. It is just wrong.

As for a magician just "bustin out one liners" see Paul Curry, Bill Malone, heck go back in history to Don Alan and Senator Crandle. Not really a new concept.

I am not saying the concept is wrong, these guys were a huge success with it so it is great. BUT if you want to be a success, perhaps just writing your OWN one liners is the way to go.

Again as Eric pointed out, it is why most comics think of magicians as hacks.
Danny Doyle
<BR>Semper Occultus
<BR>In a time of universal deceit, telling the truth is a revolutionary act....George Orwell
Sealegs
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Danny most comics are hacks too.

My opinion is that at the end of the day it doesn't matter a toss to those who come up with the lines who does what..... and I have, and still do, earn a living from comedy and have had plenty on lines 'absorbed' into others acts.

I'm still as busy as I can be and watch as most fall to the way side. The few that prosper using some of what I throw into the mix don't do so because of my contribution despite the ego massaging that that thought would bring me...there has to be more to a success story than that. So I'm still happy to watch them do well... it really doesn't affect me (or I suspect anyone else)in the slightest.

Stresslessly yours, Neal.
Neal Austin

"The golden rule is that there are no golden rules." G.B. Shaw
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