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The Magic Cafe Forum Index » » Now that’s funny! » » Anybody have a good "Chicken" Joke? (0 Likes) Printer Friendly Version

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threecardmonte
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I am doing a routine with a mechanical chicken and I'm looking for a couple good lines/jokes about chickens. Anybody have any?
thoughtsexplorer
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You could name it "Col. Sanders"
thoughtsexplorer
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"one of his siblings... been to Mexico... forgot to put on sunscreen" (darker rubber chicken - which should normally not be used anywhere in magic...)
thoughtsexplorer
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"always visits chicken roasteries to watch the naked boys/girls"

Sorry, but you did not explain to which sex your chicken belongs or which preferences it has...
honus
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What kind of routine and for what audience?

Something I've always wanted to do (yeah, I'm nuts Smile ) is a collection of answers to "Why did the chicken cross the road?" Possibly along these lines:

Why did the Republican chicken cross the road? All the chickens on his side got kicked out of the coop in November.

Why did the Democrat chicken cross the road? He doesn't know, but at least he's not a Republican chicken!

Why did the magician chicken cross the road? They were selling a new self-levitation on the other side.

Why did the fried chicken cross the road? Like, to pick up some Chee-Tos, man.

Why did the baseball-playing chicken cross the road? To catch a fowl ball.

Okay, I apologize for that last one. Smile
joseph
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Quote:
On 2006-12-06 11:26, thoughtsexplorer wrote:
You could name it "Col. Sanders"


I heard he kicked the bucket.....
"Everything should be made as simple as possible, but no simpler." (Einstein)...
Corona Smith
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What's the difference between a chicken?
Bill Ligon
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Why did the chicken cross the road?

She didn't want to lay it on the line.
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Bill Ligon
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Quote:
On 2006-12-06 15:15, Corona Smith wrote:
What's the difference between a chicken?


Ok, what's the difference? (I have an answer, so I'll show you mine if you show me yours. Smile Smile )
Author of THE HOLY ART: Bizarre Magick From Naljorpa's Cave. NOW IN HARDCOVER! VIEW: <BR>www.lulu.com/content/1399405 ORDER: http://stores.lulu.com/naljorpa
<BR>A TASSEL ON THE LUNATIC FRINGE
Corona Smith
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Airstrip One
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One of its legs is the same!
Julie
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For a child's birthday party> Why did the chicken cross the road?

To come to Billy's Birthday Party--and here he is! (Introduce your chicken here.)

Julie
amazingboz
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The chicken crossed the road for a new perspective of the road kill

AmazingBoz
harris
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Harris Deutsch
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I have a wonderful sound activated chicken that dances and has music for the chicken dance. It starts out slow and gets faster each of the 3 or 4 times it plays.

I use is as a running (and unexpected gag) with a juggling routine.

It is also part of my loose weight program...and was much easier in my "younger chicken daze."

During the routine I tell the audience his first name is Colonel..

His last, I ask...Most shout Sanders....

It's not...!

Harris
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Patrick Differ
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Why did the punk rocker cross the road?
He was safety-pinned to the chicken.

Ever hear the one about the three-legged chicken?
Will you walk into my parlour? said the Spider to the Fly,
Tis the prettiest little parlour that ever you did spy;
The way into my parlour is up a winding stair,
And I've a many curious things to show when you are there.

Oh no, no, said the little Fly, to ask me is in vain,
For who goes up your winding stair
-can ne'er come down again.
The Sorcerer
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Why did the dinassaur cross the road? Because chickens weren't invented then!!! lol
coupcoupdaddy
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Dinosaurs closer to chickens in Giger Count. Mechanical birds are not without mythological merit. Perhaps you purchased an emperor's nightingale for a song on line and received Balm of Gilead and your present possesssion. Perhaps it was your only toy as a child. What do mechanical birds seek?
foreign correspondent, z and lt



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Patrick Differ
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Mechanical birdettes.
Will you walk into my parlour? said the Spider to the Fly,
Tis the prettiest little parlour that ever you did spy;
The way into my parlour is up a winding stair,
And I've a many curious things to show when you are there.

Oh no, no, said the little Fly, to ask me is in vain,
For who goes up your winding stair
-can ne'er come down again.
SeaDawg
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Depending upon the age of the crowd...

Do you know the difference between erotic and kinky?
Erotic uses a feather, while kinky uses the whole chicken...
Crazy people take the psycho-path thru the forest...
Magic Enhancer
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Robert Haas
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Could produce the chicken from an empty can of campbells chicken noodle soup. I don't know.

Haas
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thoughtsexplorer
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Better: produce the chicken that has a wig made of noodles!
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