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The Magic Cafe Forum Index » » Not very magical, still... » » Uncomfortable Questions: Was the Death Star Attack an Inside Job? (0 Likes) Printer Friendly Version

Scott Cram
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Uncomfortable Questions: Was the Death S......ide Job?

We’ve all heard the “official conspiracy theory” of the Death Star attack. We all know about Luke Skywalker and his ragtag bunch of rebels, how they mounted a foolhardy attack on the most powerful, well-defended battle station ever built. And we’ve all seen the video over, and over, and over, of the one-in-a-million shot that resulted in a massive chain reaction that not just damaged, but completely obliterated that massive technological wonder.

Like many Americans, I was fed this story when I was growing up. But as I watched the video, I began to realize that all was not as it seemed. And the more I questioned the official story, the deeper into the rabbit hole I went.

Presented here are some of the results of my soul-searching regarding this painful event. Like many citizens, I have many questions that I would like answered: was the mighty Imperial government really too incompetent to prevent a handful of untrained nerf-herders from destroying one of their most prized assets? Or are they hiding something from us? Who was really behind the attack? Why did they want the Death Star destroyed? No matter what the answers, we have a problem.

Below is a summary of my book, Uncomfortable Questions: An Analysis of the Death Star Attack, which presents compelling evidence that we all may be the victims of a fraud of immense proportions.

Uncomfortable Questions about the Death Star Attack

1) Why were a handful of rebel fighters able to penetrate the defenses of a battle station that had the capability of destroying an entire planet and the defenses to ward off several fleets of battle ships?

2) Why did Grand Moff Tarkin refuse to deploy the station’s large fleet of TIE Fighters until it was too late? Was he acting on orders from somebody to not shoot down the rebel attack force? If so, who, and why?

3) Why was the rebel pilot who supposedly destroyed the Death Star reported to be on the Death Star days, maybe hours, prior to its destruction? Why was he allowed to escape, and why were several individuals dressed in Stormtrooper uniforms seen helping him?

4) Why has there not been an investigation into allegations that Darth Vader, the second-ranking member of the Imperial Government, is in fact the father of the pilot who allegedly destroyed the Death Star?

5) Why did Lord Vader decide to break all protocols and personally pilot a lightly armored TIE Fighter? Conveniently, this placed Lord Vader outside of the Death Star when it was destroyed, where he was also conveniently able to escape from a large-sized rebel fleet that had just routed the Imperial forces. Why would Lord Vader, one of the highest ranking members of the Imperial Government, suddenly decide to fly away from the Death Star in the middle of a battle? Did he know something that the rest of the Imperial Navy didn’t?

6) How could any pilot shoot a missile into a 2 meter-wide exhaust port, let alone a pilot with no formal training, whose only claim to fame was his ability to “bullseye womprats” on Tatooine? This shot, according to one pilot, would be “impossible, even for a computer.” Yet, according to additional evidence, the pilot who allegedly fired the missile turned off his targeting computer when he was supposedly firing the shot that destroyed the Death Star. Why have these discrepancies never been investigated, let alone explained?

7) Why has their been no investigation into evidence that the droids who provided the rebels with the Death Star plans were once owned by none other than Lord Vader himself, and were found, conveniently, by the pilot who destroyed the Death Star, and who is also believed to be Lord Vader’s son? Evidence also shows that the droids were brought to one Ben Kenobi, who, records indicate, was Darth Vader’s teacher many years earlier! Are all these personal connections between the conspirators and a key figure in the Imperial government supposed to be coincidences?

8) How could a single missile destroy a battle station the size of a moon? No records, anywhere, show that any battle station or capital ship has ever been destroyed by a single missile. Furthermore, analysis of the tape of the last moments of the Death Star show numerous small explosions along its surface, prior to it exploding completely! Why does all evidence indicate that strategically placed explosives, not a single missile, is what destroyed the Death Star?
ClintonMagus
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Do you have a Storm Trooper suit in your closet? Or, in the immortal words of William Shatner on Saturday Night Live, "Have you ever kissed a girl?"

http://snltranscripts.jt.org/86/86hgetalife.phtml
Things are more like they are today than they've ever been before...
The Drake
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Scott,

Your observations are wise indeed. The answer to ALL of your questions...... is....

....... to distract us the viewer from thinking of this!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PSC0A0XrBYA

Best,

Tim
Doug Higley
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1. Fleas on a dog.

2.Luke was onboard the rebel fleet ships...the future of the Empire as envisioned by the Emporer was worth more than a ball..

3. See #2

4. All arranged by the Emporer

5. Vader went out under orders to verify the presence of his punk.

6. Writers perogative. Allow the Force enough powers to allow for any outcome.

7. Read 'Shogun' and reflect on the brilliant strategies of Torunaga which wove through years of convoluted planning and intrigue to achive a single goal.

8. See #6.

9. Watch Popeye instead.
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Jonathan Townsend
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Are you asking if the Emperor was planning to rid himself of Vader?
...to all the coins I've dropped here
MagicSanta
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I think the emperor was after Vader and Vader used the rebels to destroy his new enemy the emperor knowing he could re arm against those rebel scum.
gaddy
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No, Vader was out to sabotage himself. The son takes after the father. Luke was right and there always was the spark of good in him.

the parallels to 9/11 are dreadfully obvious.
*due to The Magic Cafe's editorial policies, words on this site attributed to me cannot necessarily be held to be my own.*
MagicSanta
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I tried watching the first of the new three episodes and there was a pod race and then I woke up and it was over. What happened?
Doug Higley
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The Pods were left over from INvasion Of The Body Snathers and Lucas was replaced with Jim Wynorski.
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MAKMagic
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"This is Gibert Godfrey with 2007's WHAT THE **** question of the year"
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Andy the cardician
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Good questions indeed. And do we know that Luke is infact the son of DV?
Cards never lie
gaddy
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Yeah, they used the force, or something. you know, to search their feelings and know it to be true, or whatever...
*due to The Magic Cafe's editorial policies, words on this site attributed to me cannot necessarily be held to be my own.*
Andy the cardician
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But the force might be wrong - and after all DV was a Jedi as well before
Cards never lie
Bendy
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Quote:
On 2007-03-01 18:50, Scott Cram wrote:
1) Why were a handful of rebel fighters able to penetrate the defenses of a battle station that had the capability of destroying an entire planet and the defenses to ward off several fleets of battle ships?


First of all, to answer another, earlier accusation, those who destroyed the Death Star were not nerf herders. The last few in the trench that helped assure Luke's success were anything but. Wedge was a Corellian whose family history had no herding of nerfs. Han was also Corellian and the stripe along his pant leg suggested that he had been considered a hero of sorts on Corellia. He was scruffy-looking, perhaps, but not a nerf herder. Chewbacca, the Wookie, had been freed from Imperial slavery by Han and both Han and Chewie were recently reformed smugglers, (though perhaps grudgingly so on Han's part). Luke, while a moisture farmer, dreamer and perhaps even a womprat buzzer, could not be defined as a nerf herder.

That being said, I think that the Force had a great deal to do with the construction of the Death Star - not just in its demise. It was said that Anakin Skywalker was to bring balance to the Force. Everyone seems to think that didn't come until his death. I beg to differ. I think the Force was weighed heavily on the good side with hundreds, if not thousands, of Jedi across the galaxy and only supposedly two Sith at a time. That's very off-balanced. But Qui-Gon, Yoda and Mace failed to see that and assumed that the prophecies regarding balance meant a tip towards the light side of the Force. Logically, this could not be so. When Anakin turned and helped Palpatine hunt down and exterminate the remaining Jedi, he did, in fact, bring that balance.

With Obi-Wan and Yoda, presumably the last of the Jedi, destined to eventually die of old age sooner rather than later; the "balance" between good and evil in the Force would be tipped the other direction - toward the evil. Vader, a dark lord of the Sith and the Emperor ruling the galaxy and destroying planets and lives would tip the balance too far to the dark side. The Death Star had to be destroyed - the Force demanded it. Anakin, (now Darth Vader), being the one to bring balance to the Force, probably designed the Death Star with the apparent flaw. Whether he did so consciously or unconsciously, we may never know. But I think he felt led to do so and saw that it occurred. The destruction of the Death Star set the Empire back in its dark move forward; thus keeping the balance in check long enough for Luke to develop his skill enough to take on or win back his father, prior to and shortly after Yoda's death. It's all about balance, my friend.

Quote:
2) Why did Grand Moff Tarkin refuse to deploy the station’s large fleet of TIE Fighters until it was too late? Was he acting on orders from somebody to not shoot down the rebel attack force? If so, who, and why?


First of all, the Death Star was designed to fight fleets and planets and win quickly or without a fight at all. Small fighters were problematic for its design because I don't think they ever expected anyone to get that close; but more problematic, I think, was Tarkin's pride and attitude towards those small fighters. They put a lot of stock in the Death Star and maybe in Vader and Palpatine. Think of it like the Titanic. No way could a small group of Rebels in raggedy ships organize enough or bring enough fire-power to put even a scratch on their space station. And Tarkin was a Grand Moff - higher than Admirals in the Imperial Navy, higher than regional governors - and in command of the greatest weapon ever built. I think his face showed his concern; but he couldn't show that in front of his subordinates. It would cost him respect and perhaps his title following the battle. He was prideful enough that his pride prevented him from seeing and addressing the Rebel attack force as the true threat that they were.

Quote:
3) Why was the rebel pilot who supposedly destroyed the Death Star reported to be on the Death Star days, maybe hours, prior to its destruction? Why was he allowed to escape, and why were several individuals dressed in Stormtrooper uniforms seen helping him?


Um...Huh? Were these questions not answered thoroughly in the film/book/radio drama?

Quote:
4) Why has there not been an investigation into allegations that Darth Vader, the second-ranking member of the Imperial Government, is in fact the father of the pilot who allegedly destroyed the Death Star?


Huh? Even Vader did not know at the time of the battle that the pilot who destroyed the Death Star was a Skywalker; let alone his very son. And just who would investigate such things? I think the Emperor belived that Vader had fully turned to the dark side beyond suspicion nearly 20 years earlier. I also think that the Emperor was arrogant enough to believe that he was practically all-knowing and could therefore discern any treachery on Vader's part. I don't think he thought the son of Anakin Skywalker could possibly be a threat. Apparently there was an investigation at some point. Mara Jade, the Emperor's Hand, witnessed Vader investigating Luke Skywalker in Palpatine's private library and Palpatine was well aware of the investigation. I wouldn't be surprised if he insisted on it. Before the Rebels hid on Hoth, Vader and the Emperor both knew that Luke Skywalker was among them, that Luke was strong in the force and without a doubt the son of Anakin Skywalker. ...So apparently an ivestigation did, in fact, take place.

Quote:
5) Why did Lord Vader decide to break all protocols and personally pilot a lightly armored TIE Fighter? Conveniently, this placed Lord Vader outside of the Death Star when it was destroyed, where he was also conveniently able to escape from a large-sized rebel fleet that had just routed the Imperial forces. Why would Lord Vader, one of the highest ranking members of the Imperial Government, suddenly decide to fly away from the Death Star in the middle of a battle? Did he know something that the rest of the Imperial Navy didn’t?


I think Vader could feel the ripples in the Force when Luke was near the Death Star; though he did not immediately realize who it was. I think he was curious. Additionally, he was the best pilot on the entire Death Star and the only Force-sensitive one there, as well. Who better to get in his own ship and join the battle? Vader's joining the battle probably strengthened Tarkin's prideful resolve. Vader being outside of the Death Star also served the Force in regards to the balance I mentioned earlier.

Quote:
6) How could any pilot shoot a missile into a 2 meter-wide exhaust port, let alone a pilot with no formal training, whose only claim to fame was his ability to “bullseye womprats” on Tatooine? This shot, according to one pilot, would be “impossible, even for a computer.” Yet, according to additional evidence, the pilot who allegedly fired the missile turned off his targeting computer when he was supposedly firing the shot that destroyed the Death Star. Why have these discrepancies never been investigated, let alone explained?


Vader was well aware that the Force was involved in the destruction of the Death Star and no doubt explained this factor to Palpatine. Womprats aren't much bigger than 2 meters; younger ones being even smaller than 2 meters. The T-16 was built by Incom; who built the T65 X-Wing fighter flown by Luke on the Death Star attack. The gravity produced by the Death Star would make the handling of the T65 X-Wing very simlar to that of the T16 in-atmosphere "Skyhopper." The firing mechanism for the photon torpedo would be virtually identical on both vehicles. Luke would have had a very good chance of landing that shot without the assistance of the Force. But the Force provided additional assistance and took the shot from a good chance to an assured success. I see no discrepancies and certainly nothing worth dwelling on to the point of investigation.

Quote:
7) Why has their been no investigation into evidence that the droids who provided the rebels with the Death Star plans were once owned by none other than Lord Vader himself, and were found, conveniently, by the pilot who destroyed the Death Star, and who is also believed to be Lord Vader’s son? Evidence also shows that the droids were brought to one Ben Kenobi, who, records indicate, was Darth Vader’s teacher many years earlier! Are all these personal connections between the conspirators and a key figure in the Imperial government supposed to be coincidences?


Investigated by whom? No one but Vader would have known the droids belonged to him. And even then, he may not have recognized them as the very same droids he had owned from two decades earlier. There were lots of very similar models of astromech and protocol droids in service. Additionally, even if the droids were recognized by Vader, the odds were that they had had many memory wipes, (as were standard practice both in and outside of the Empire), since he last saw either droid. I think this is a moot point.

Quote:
8) How could a single missile destroy a battle station the size of a moon? No records, anywhere, show that any battle station or capital ship has ever been destroyed by a single missile. Furthermore, analysis of the tape of the last moments of the Death Star show numerous small explosions along its surface, prior to it exploding completely! Why does all evidence indicate that strategically placed explosives, not a single missile, is what destroyed the Death Star?


Two words: Chain reaction. The design of the space station, coupled with the type and delivery of the photon torpedo set off a series of explosions. Subsequent gas leaks and electrical failure and sparking occurring throughout the space station during its destruction merely sped the process along.

It ws mentioned that a video tape has been viewed. I would question the integrity and source of this tape; as there were no star destroyers or other Imperial vehicles within filming distance. Any such video would have had to have been filmed by Rebels, (and thus questionable for Imperial investigative purposes), and from such a distance that details of any series of explosions could not be assessed with any certainty. I would submit to you that the destruction video is therefore suspect and inconclusive.
elmago
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Arrogance, Pride, Stubborness, Curiosity, Intrigue. No conspiracy.
"Excellence is not a single act; it's a habit" Shaq quoting Aristotle after winning NBA MVP.
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