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Emazdad
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Plymouth UK
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I''ve got to tell you what happened today at a party, As normal as part of my intro I ask the kids if they no any magic words, I got the normal,ABRACADABRA, ALAkAZAM, BIZ BIZ BILLY WHIZZ, SMELLY SAUSAGES ETC It's a great way of finding out what other magicians they've seen as I know all the different ones that the local magicians use. Anyway one lad said SMELLY SOCKS nothing strange there, the 4 year old birthday child then said "I've got one SMELLY COCKS" I nearly wet myself, so did all the mum's, What made it really funny was it was said in all innocence, she was just copying the rhyme of Socks. As normal I said quickly what a good magic word and carried on, I didn't want her upset by thinking we were laughing at her, but for the next minute or so I was trying desperatly not to giggle as I talked. I could hear the laughter from the other grown ups around the house as the story spread.

It reminded me of an incident a few years ago at a 5 year olds party in a slightly rough area of Plymouth, In those days Scamp the puppet used to ask the kids if they knew any jokes, as he likes jokes. One 5 year old put his hand up.

"I've got a joke" he said
"OK tell Scamp your joke".
"Whats the definition of a drawing pin? " (Thumb tack to our American friends)Expecting the normal child like answer I said "We don't know what is the definition of a drawing pin?"
"A smartie with a hard on." My jaw dropped, the mum's jaws dropped, I quickly said "OK has anyone else got a joke" and after that decided it was safer to drop the joke bit from the show.

What funny experiences has anyone else had, I look forward to a good giggle with this topic. Smile
Yours Funfully
Clive "Emazdad" Hemsley
www.emazdad.com

"Magic is a secret, without the secret there is no magic"

Remember there are only 3 types of people in the world, those that can count and those that can't.
Cheshire Cat
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Wilmslow, UK
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Quite often get the one "how do you make a snooker table laugh? - put your hand in it's pocket and tickle it's balls", usually from some innocent looking tiny soul who probably doesn't know what he or she is saying! I remember myself inadvertently saying at a large Manchester Police function as the little girl left the stage: "give her a nice crap boys and girls". I think the main thing is to turn anything unexpected to entertainment advantage. This comes with experience.
Smile

Yes, I need cheering up a bit today as one of my little boys has now started work, it makes me feel so old. It seems only yesterday he was 3 and sat on my knee eating traditional Northern English pig's blood and eels pudding; and how he was sick all over me as we sat watching "American Werewolf In London". Ah, happy days.
Emazdad
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Plymouth UK
1954 Posts

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<<<<<<"give her a nice crap boys and girls".>>>>>>

I think it's called a spoonerism, for those new to entertaining the secret when you make a mistake and do something like that,is not to make anything of it, don't blush and apologize, carry on as if you havn't said the wrong word, and behave as if you used the right one, maybe even try and use a sentence with the proper word in it, IE:

"give her a nice crap boys and girls".
"and lets see who can clap the loudest"

All the audience will think they must have misheard you the first time. If you start mumbling apologies, you highlight the problem and it can get blown out of all proportion.
Yours Funfully
Clive "Emazdad" Hemsley
www.emazdad.com

"Magic is a secret, without the secret there is no magic"

Remember there are only 3 types of people in the world, those that can count and those that can't.
ChrisZampese
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Hamilton, NZ
341 Posts

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Quote:


for those new to entertaining the secret when you make a mistake and do something like that,is not to make anything of it, don't blush and apologize


Excellent advice! I worked as a waiter while I was at University, and this was one of the best pieces of advice I got. don't apologise, either fix the problem, or carry on. Instead of mumbling "sorry your meal is late and cold and not actually what you ordered", you are better off to say "I understand your meal is not satisfactory, can I offer you another meal or would you like a complimentary round of drinks for your table". The same can be applied to magic. If you mess up, entertain them with something else.

Apologies lack entertainment value, so you should probably leave them out of your show.
The most beautiful experience we can have is the mysterious. It is the fundamental emotion which stands at the cradle of true art and true science. Whoever does not know it and can no longer wonder, no longer marvel, is as good as dead, and his eyes are
p.b.jones
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Milford Haven. Pembrokeshire wales U.K.
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Hi,
I was performing at a party on sunday and as I leaned down to pick up the cover of my silver sceptre which shot in the air I heared a girl of about 7 say to her friend
" you told me this show was really funny...it's not.... It's bloody hilarious!"
Phillip
Emazdad
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Plymouth UK
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What more do you need?!!! brilliant I love it when I hear things like that.

UPDATE: April 24, 2004

I was setting up my show in a social club this evening, and 11 year old girl called Danielle was chatting to me I creased up when she said. "I had a magician at my birthday party when I was 7, He was called Emazdad as well" She then went on to tell me what my Dog Puppet did at her party.
Yours Funfully
Clive "Emazdad" Hemsley
www.emazdad.com

"Magic is a secret, without the secret there is no magic"

Remember there are only 3 types of people in the world, those that can count and those that can't.
Fan of the Cafe
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I once used an illusion whereby the rabbit was produced from a TV, not a real TV but a production box made to look like one. The jest was that you put the TV over the child's head and they appeared on the front screen, later after the child's head was out of the box, a rabbit would appear where the head was. I don't use the box anymore because one day the rabbit pee-peed in the box! When the box went over the girl's head, the liquid started coming out! What a mess! But the line of the night came from a girl in the front row when she exlaimed, "It's the weather channel!"

Priceless.
carlomagic
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Performing in Liverpool:

One volunteer, aged 9 had quite a suntan.

Carlo: Well you look all nice and tanned, have you been on holiday?

Boy: Yes, I just got back

Carlo: Really, where did you go?

Boy: Spain

Carlo: One of my favourite places. Did you pick up any Spanish?

Boy: No, they were all ugly.

:stuckinbag:

Regards,

Carlo
magicgeorge
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Belfast
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During a show, yesterday, I managed to pull the tail off poor Rocky. I arrived nice and early for the next show and had the pleasure of being able to set-up in an empty living room. With a bit of time to spare I decided to see if I could temporarily attach the tail and found a small hole where the tail used to be and pushed my finger in to see if I could find somewhere to tie it on. As I was doing this the birthday boy's 11 year old brother popped his head around the door then disappeared again. I then heard him announce to the assembled 5 year olds outside the door:
"The magicians not ready yet cos he's sticking his finger up a dead badger's bum".......
stu-di-doo
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Cumbria, UK
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You're lucky George

The eleven year olds I know would have said something far more risque!!

Stu Di Doo
Emazdad
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Plymouth UK
1954 Posts

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He he he he that tickled my funny bone George.
Yours Funfully
Clive "Emazdad" Hemsley
www.emazdad.com

"Magic is a secret, without the secret there is no magic"

Remember there are only 3 types of people in the world, those that can count and those that can't.
Michael Baker
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Eternal Order
Near a river in the Midwest
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Oh my God, this is funny!!! The dead badger has me in stiches!!!!

MORE, MORE, PLEASE MORE!!!!!!
~michael baker
The Magic Company
harris
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Harris Deutsch
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Badger,

I did laugh out loud when I read that one.

Reminds me of a video of David Williamson doing Rocky,

(the spring puppet)

and asking a volunteer to come out of the audience.

I can't go into details but it was a fun/risque moment.

Back in my younger days, I worked a bit risque in comedy type venues. These days it is more family venues.

Be safe and enjoy the unexpected.

Harris
Harris Deutsch aka dr laugh
drlaugh4u@gmail.com
music, magic and marvelous toys
http://magician.org/member/drlaugh4u
Caliban
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Last weekend I had a little girl say - "That's not a real magic wand - it's made of wood." So I asked her what a real magic wand was made of and she said - "plastic"
Emazdad
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Plymouth UK
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I often have a child tell me that marmite my lion puppet isn't real, to which I answer, yes he is, he's a real puppet not a pretend one. the kid then argues he's not a real puppet he's a pretend one as your working him with your arm. The more I tell them it's a real puppet the more they argue it's a pretend puppet. It's very funny when it happens.
Yours Funfully
Clive "Emazdad" Hemsley
www.emazdad.com

"Magic is a secret, without the secret there is no magic"

Remember there are only 3 types of people in the world, those that can count and those that can't.
harris
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Harris Deutsch
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I have been using the line

Real Puppet for many years.

It is a great bit.

Thanks for sharing.

Harris Deutsch
Laughologist
Harris Deutsch aka dr laugh
drlaugh4u@gmail.com
music, magic and marvelous toys
http://magician.org/member/drlaugh4u
RiffClown
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Yorktown, Virginia (Previously Germany)
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I think I've shared this before but it's been a while.

Sometime back I was performing at a corporate type event and twisting ballons for the line. This young boy stepped up and gruffly said, "I want a sword and a belt!" His mom was standing close by and reminded him, "Jeffrey, remember to use the magic word, please!"

Young Jeffrey turned to me a repeated in the same tone of voice as before. "I want a sword and a belt.. CLOWN!" The mom was so embarrassed, I just had to let it go and keep my composure.. I stopped the line for a few moments while I got a bit of water.
Rob "Riff, the Magical Clown" Eubank aka RiffClown
<BR>http://www.riffclown.com
<BR>Magic is not the method, but the presentation.
Chubby Harris
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I recently had a little girl point to my table whilst I was setting up, and said.
"I know why you are called Chubby Harris.....Because your fat", this was all said very matter of fact..little darlings ain't they...
"Believe in the Magic of your dreams"
jakeg
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I asked a birthday girl if I was also invited to her party
"No!"
"Why not?"
"Because you're too old and you're too fat"
(She was right on both counts)
TrickyRicky
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TrickyRicky
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While performing the teddy bear routine--just at the part where they started to sleep -- and they snored and snored.
A little girl jumped up and and shouted out "my dad snored so much that my mommy sleeps by herself"
Tricky Ricky
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