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TroyRoark Loyal user Springfield IL 282 Posts |
I'm guessing there is an archive of these already. If not, lets start one, shall we? I'm talking real one-liners here. If the punchline ain't in the first line, it ain't a one-liner!
"Did you hear about the cannibal who passed his friend in the woods?" "Did you hear what the mime said?" Please add. Everyone needs more of these. |
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drkptrs1975 Elite user North Eastern PA 452 Posts |
Don't eat glue.
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cougar261084 Elite user 460 Posts |
Buy the aldo colombini books
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DoctorAmazo Special user Florida 643 Posts |
Quote:
On 2007-04-19 04:34, cougar261084 wrote: I don't get it. And I doubt it would be funny to a layman... |
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Eric Jones V.I.P. Director of Product Development 2101 Posts |
So a guy walks into a bar with a rabbi, a priest, a buddhist and a duck. The bartender looks at the group and says, "What's this, a joke?"
“We're two tigers away from an act in Vegas.” Greg House M.D.
<BR> <BR>http://www.ericjonesmagic.com |
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nucinud Inner circle New York, New York 1298 Posts |
Quote:
On 2007-04-20 19:50, Godhandz wrote: Good one.
"We are what we pretend to be" Kurt Vonnegut, jr.
Now U C It Now U Don't Harry Mandel www.mandelmagic.com |
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nucinud Inner circle New York, New York 1298 Posts |
Quote:
On 2007-04-19 09:39, DoctorAmazo wrote: On the contrary, Aldo's books are very funny.
"We are what we pretend to be" Kurt Vonnegut, jr.
Now U C It Now U Don't Harry Mandel www.mandelmagic.com |
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Dannydoyle Eternal Order 21219 Posts |
Quote:
On 2007-04-20 19:50, Godhandz wrote: By definition not a one liner now is it?
Danny Doyle
<BR>Semper Occultus <BR>In a time of universal deceit, telling the truth is a revolutionary act....George Orwell |
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magicgeorge Inner circle Belfast 4299 Posts |
A guy walks into a bar with a rabbi, a priest, a buddhist and a duck and the bartender says, "Is this some kind of a joke?".
Is it a one-liner now? |
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Daniel Faith Inner circle Neenah, Wisconsin 1526 Posts |
I have a huge list of true one liners I've been saving for many years.
Way to many to list them here.
Daniel Faith
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TroyRoark Loyal user Springfield IL 282 Posts |
Okay, how about like... oh I don't know... one of them?!
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NJJ Inner circle 6437 Posts |
One liners are like crack.
Sure, you have one or two for fun but then you start collecting them. You start to steal from other performers to feed your habit. Then you can't imagine a time when you tried other types of comedy. |
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Rupert Bair Inner circle ? 2179 Posts |
Quote:
On 2007-04-19 09:39, DoctorAmazo wrote: Ha! |
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Cranial Fermentator Loyal user 238 Posts |
Not original, think I read this in a joke book when I was nine, and it stuck in my mind:
"I used to manage a one-man band...until the group broke up." |
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RC4MAG Special user 563 Posts |
Quote:
On 2007-04-23 15:32, Daniel Faith wrote: And you are telling us this...why? |
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merlin5150 New user 52 Posts |
To a spectator who didn't follow directions, "I think I drove behind you once!"
Jeff |
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pghdude80 New user Pittsburgh 72 Posts |
Here are a few of my favorites...most of these have been circulating for years (some of them are antiques):
43% of all statistics are worthless! I'll try being nicer if you try being smarter! I have this nagging feeling that everyone in the world is out to make me paranoid! Borrow money from a pessimist, they never expect to be repaid. And my personal favorite: Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines! |
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TroyRoark Loyal user Springfield IL 282 Posts |
And this thread had so much potential!
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Salby Inner circle New Jersey 1254 Posts |
I started out with nothing.... I still have most of it.
You know how to make God laugh?........... Tell him your plans!!!
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nboisen Loyal user 289 Posts |
What sane person could live in this world and not be crazy?
For disappearing acts, it's hard to beat what happens to the eight hours supposedly left after eight of sleep and eight of work. We don't stop playing because we grow old; we grow old because we stop playing. Hmmm... this is getting way too serious... |
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