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Brent McLeod![]() Inner circle 1714 Posts ![]() |
Old but hoary!! Gag!!!
I hear Whopee Goldberg is marrying English Actor -Peter Cushing From now on she'll be known as -Whoppee Cushion!!! |
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joseph![]() Eternal Order Please ignore my 17115 Posts ![]() |
If Sondra Locke married Elliott Ness, then divorced him to marry Herman Munster, she'd become Sondra Locke Ness Munster...
"Everything should be made as simple as possible, but no simpler." (Einstein)...
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FrankBenning![]() Regular user 121 Posts ![]() |
A line heard during the Revolutionary War...
"You know about Ben Franklin?? You've heard what he does for fun, right??...next time we have a thunder storm watch him!" |
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FrankBenning![]() Regular user 121 Posts ![]() |
"What's a guy with his arm up a horses butt??...an Amish mechanic"
"I just got a book about all kinds of glues, tape, and adhesives...I just can't put it down!" HOPE we can keep posting...I love these and look forward to what others poat!! |
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joseph![]() Eternal Order Please ignore my 17115 Posts ![]() |
When she told me I was average, she was just being mean...
"Everything should be made as simple as possible, but no simpler." (Einstein)...
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FrankBenning![]() Regular user 121 Posts ![]() |
"You can tell when a moth farts...it flies in a straight line"
"Your at somebody's house and you use their bathroom...you flush it and the water starts getting higher and higher...that's one of the terrifying moments in life" "I have an older relitive that's taking iron pills and viagra...so now he points North" |
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Larry Bean![]() Inner circle I'm digging enough holes for 2016 Posts ![]() |
I was so ugly as a child that my parents tied a pork chop around my neck to get the dog to play with me.
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ERIC Inner circle New Jersey 1188 Posts ![]() |
I was born one of triplets. My father told my mother to pick the one she wanted to keep cause he was gonna drown the other two...That's when I learned to swim!
Thanks Red Fox. |
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FrankBenning![]() Regular user 121 Posts ![]() |
I heard this on a local radio station today...but it's one the "uses" jokes from Jay Leno and others so this one might have been on there the night before(???)...
"Jack Kavorkian (spelling?? the guy that went to prison for "assisted suicides" but is out now) is 79 years old...it's reported that he's going to run for congress...wow..talk about a possible congressman with skeletons in his closet...wow!!" That's "funny" no matter where it came from! also.... "There was a baby born with a full beard and mustache...the mother was tickled pink!!" "An old guy died..was cremated and put in a small bucket...that was fitting as right before he died he was looking a little pale" HOPE we can keep these going...we're adding to all our one-liners/groaners!! |
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Neznarf![]() Inner circle NY then AZ now 1840 Posts ![]() |
What kind of cheese is made in America? American
Wht kind of cheese is made in Switzerland? Swiss What kind of cheese is made in Scotland? Loch Ness MUNSTER.
"Life is not about waiting for the storms to pass...it's about learning how to dance in the rain."
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Larry Bean![]() Inner circle I'm digging enough holes for 2016 Posts ![]() |
Why do we park on driveways and drive on parkways?
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daffydoug![]() Eternal Order Look mom! I've got 14062 Posts ![]() |
Hear about the pencil with the broken lead? It's pointless.
The difficult must become easy, the easy beautiful and the beautiful magical.
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Vegasvent![]() Loyal user Phoenix 288 Posts ![]() |
There is really some good stuff here!
Magical Phil-Kidzshow, LLC
"My Wife says that either all of my Stuff goes, or she does......" "Boy, I'm sure gonna miss her cookin'." |
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shooz![]() Regular user Zelienople, PA 196 Posts ![]() |
I think its wierd that the word 'fingerpuppet' is ok as a noun.
With you in thought(s)
Scott Shoemaker...Shooz |
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Vegasvent![]() Loyal user Phoenix 288 Posts ![]() |
There are two important rules for success:
1.) Don't tell all you know.
Magical Phil-Kidzshow, LLC
"My Wife says that either all of my Stuff goes, or she does......" "Boy, I'm sure gonna miss her cookin'." |
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FrankBenning![]() Regular user 121 Posts ![]() |
"I gave some Viagra to my lawyer...it just made him taller"
"Some Indians honored a Chinese guy by putting his face on a totum pole...of course he's the "LO" man on the totum pole" |
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FrankBenning![]() Regular user 121 Posts ![]() |
"there should be a law that if you bring a baby into a movie theatre, when the movie is over...everybody gets to slap you!"
"I'm a neurotic juggler...I can worry about 6 things at once" |
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Chappo![]() Special user Bris Vegas 754 Posts ![]() |
The dumber people think you are, the more surprised they're going to be when you kill them.
The rules of a sleight of hand artist, Are three, and all others are vain,
The 1st & the 2nd are practice... And the 3rd one is practice again - 'Magic of the Hands', Edward Victor (1940) |
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Larry Bean![]() Inner circle I'm digging enough holes for 2016 Posts ![]() |
Will all those who believe in telekinesis please raise my hand.
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joseph![]() Eternal Order Please ignore my 17115 Posts ![]() |
Why is Phonetics spelled like that?...
"Everything should be made as simple as possible, but no simpler." (Einstein)...
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