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Doug Higley
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The old story goes that two guys are heading into the woods to chop down the Christmas tree. One of then ventures,

"What if we run into a bear?"

"Then we run." says the other.

The first exclaims, "But you can't outrun a Bear!"

"I don't have to. I only have to outrun you."



Love that story. Smile
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airship
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I kicked the slats out of my crib when I first heard that one, too, Doug. Smile
'The central secret of conjuring is a manipulation of interest.' - Henry Hay
Doug Higley
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Oh yeah. It's an oldy for sure. But where have all these thought provoking little stories gone? All we get now are boring sex jokes and outrageous improbable set ups. blat. Will Rogers come back!
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Michael Baker
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When NASA first started sending up astronauts, they quickly discovered that ballpoint pens would not work in zero gravity. To combat the problem, NASA scientists spent a decade and $12 billion to develop a pen that writes in zero gravity, upside down, underwater, on almost any surface including glass and at temperatures ranging from below freezing to 300°C.

The Russians used a pencil.
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LobowolfXXX
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Quote:
On 2007-05-21 19:34, Michael Baker wrote:
When NASA first started sending up astronauts, they quickly discovered that ballpoint pens would not work in zero gravity. To combat the problem, NASA scientists spent a decade and $12 billion to develop a pen that writes in zero gravity, upside down, underwater, on almost any surface including glass and at temperatures ranging from below freezing to 300°C.

The Russians used a pencil.




Great story, but false. When NASA first started sending up astronauts, they had nowhere near $12 billion to spend on EVERYTHING, let alone ANYTHING. The entire NASA budget was $500 million in 1960. By 1965, it had increased...to $5.2 billion.

The Americans, like the Russians, used pencils, but broken leads were frequent, and a safety risk in zero gravity; an entrepreneur, not NASA, developed the zero-gravity pen. His name was Paul Fischer, and he spent a little over a million dollars on his pen -- again, nothing like $12 billion. In December, 1967, NASA bought 400 of them...for three bucks each. Prior to 1968, lead pencils were used on all Mercury and Gemini flights (as well as all Russian flights). The Fischer pens were more dependable...and quite a bargain at three bucks a pop.
"Torture doesn't work" lol
Guess they forgot to tell Bill Buckley.

"...as we reason and love, we are able to hope. And hope enables us to resist those things that would enslave us."
LobowolfXXX
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By the way, ballpoint pens DO work in zero gravity, unless astronaut Pedro Duque is lying to us. Here's an excerpt from his diary:


http://www.esa.int/esaCP/SEM9YN7O0MD_index_0.html
"Torture doesn't work" lol
Guess they forgot to tell Bill Buckley.

"...as we reason and love, we are able to hope. And hope enables us to resist those things that would enslave us."
Freak Prodigy
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Now they are a bit more expensive.
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Josh Riel
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Quote:
On 2007-05-21 16:35, Doug Higley wrote:
Oh yeah. It's an oldy for sure. But where have all these thought provoking little stories gone? All we get now are boring sex jokes and outrageous improbable set ups. blat. Will Rogers come back!


What's wrong with sex jokes and outrageous improbable set ups?
They are basically all I got.










Also Lobowolf, this thread isn't about reality. it is about wisdom.
Wisdom as seen by an old person (Original poster). Since old people are typically senile, wisdom means whatever they want it to.
So give the old folk a break!
Magic is doing improbable things with odd items that, under normal circumstances, would be unnessecary and quite often undesirable.
Doug Higley
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I used to be a FAN of Josh. Now I think he is merely what hits it.
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rossmacrae
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By the way, about NASA:

I heard that the computer that sent our guys to the moon had about as much power as a Commodore 64.

I send my kid to school with a graphing calculator more powerful than that.
Josh Riel
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You think I'm air? That's an odd thing to say
Magic is doing improbable things with odd items that, under normal circumstances, would be unnessecary and quite often undesirable.
ed rhodes
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Quote:
On 2007-05-21 20:04, LobowolfXXX wrote:
Quote:
On 2007-05-21 19:34, Michael Baker wrote:
When NASA first started sending up astronauts, they quickly discovered that ballpoint pens would not work in zero gravity. To combat the problem, NASA scientists spent a decade and $12 billion to develop a pen that writes in zero gravity, upside down, underwater, on almost any surface including glass and at temperatures ranging from below freezing to 300°C.

The Russians used a pencil.




Great story, but false. When NASA first started sending up astronauts, they had nowhere near $12 billion to spend on EVERYTHING, let alone ANYTHING. The entire NASA budget was $500 million in 1960. By 1965, it had increased...to $5.2 billion.

The Americans, like the Russians, used pencils, but broken leads were frequent, and a safety risk in zero gravity; an entrepreneur, not NASA, developed the zero-gravity pen. His name was Paul Fischer, and he spent a little over a million dollars on his pen -- again, nothing like $12 billion. In December, 1967, NASA bought 400 of them...for three bucks each. Prior to 1968, lead pencils were used on all Mercury and Gemini flights (as well as all Russian flights). The Fischer pens were more dependable...and quite a bargain at three bucks a pop.


That's the problem with reality... it keeps getting in the way of a good story!
"There's no time to lose," I heard her say.
"Catch your dreams before they slip away."
"Dying all the time, lose your dreams and you could lose your mind.
Ain't life unkind?"
DStachowiak
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Quote:
On 2007-05-21 20:37, Josh Riel wrote:
Quote:
On 2007-05-21 16:35, Doug Higley wrote:
Oh yeah. It's an oldy for sure. But where have all these thought provoking little stories gone? All we get now are boring sex jokes and outrageous improbable set ups. blat. Will Rogers come back!


What's wrong with sex jokes and outrageous improbable set ups?
They are basically all I got.


I'm available to participate in either a boring sex joke OR an outrageous improbable setup.
Woke up.
Fell out of bed.
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ClintonMagus
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He said "Thought provoking little stories", not "true stories"... Smile
Things are more like they are today than they've ever been before...
Cliffg37
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Ok, so these two ladies walk into a bar....
Magic is like Science,
Both are fun if you do it right!
LobowolfXXX
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I have antiquated notions of wisdom beginning with thoughts that correspond to reality. I'm oldschool like that, but I don't mean to discourage numerologists, certified feng shui experts, or Jonathan Edward himself from jumping in here.
"Torture doesn't work" lol
Guess they forgot to tell Bill Buckley.

"...as we reason and love, we are able to hope. And hope enables us to resist those things that would enslave us."
LobowolfXXX
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Here's a tangentially-related anecdote...a friend of mine was a professor of philosophy at a local university. He served on a board or two over the years, and really tended to not enjoy board meetings. One such meeting had dragged on for quite some time, and they were only about halfway through the agenda. The next item was what to rename a class formerly called "Religion, Mysticism, and Witchcraft," which had suffered declining enrollment over the past few years. My friend is about 6'6", 350 pounds, but very soft-spoken. He speaks rarely and quietly. After listening to people go back and forth for about 15 minutes, checking his watch periodically, he decided to contribute to the discussion. When the surprised chair of the meeting asked for his input, Richard said, "Why don't we call it 'Alternatives to Knowledge'?"
"Torture doesn't work" lol
Guess they forgot to tell Bill Buckley.

"...as we reason and love, we are able to hope. And hope enables us to resist those things that would enslave us."
DStachowiak
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Quote:
On 2007-05-22 15:33, LobowolfXXX wrote:
Here's a tangentially-related anecdote...a friend of mine was a professor of philosophy at a local university. He served on a board or two over the years, and really tended to not enjoy board meetings. One such meeting had dragged on for quite some time, and they were only about halfway through the agenda. The next item was what to rename a class formerly called "Religion, Mysticism, and Witchcraft," which had suffered declining enrollment over the past few years. My friend is about 6'6", 350 pounds, but very soft-spoken. He speaks rarely and quietly. After listening to people go back and forth for about 15 minutes, checking his watch periodically, he decided to contribute to the discussion. When the surprised chair of the meeting asked for his input, Richard said, "Why don't we call it 'Alternatives to Knowledge'?"

Love it!
Woke up.
Fell out of bed.
Dragged a comb across m' head.
Doug Higley
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Haha...good one...but you really just wanted us to know you knew a Philosophy Professor and spell 'tangentially-related anecdote'. I had to cut and paste. Smile
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billyboy1957
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I'm a fan of the stories of Mullah Nasrudin. One of my favourites is when someone asked him to give a basic description of how his house was constructed. He went away and handed his friend a housebrick, saying, 'It's just a collection of these'.

Ian
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