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Rupert Bair Inner circle ? 2179 Posts |
3 weeks have gone past since we've seen him.
I hope to god they haven't eaten him. We'll drink whiskey and beer. We'll cop the lot. And pray my camel comes home tonight. M:C Poet Laureate, and friend of M:C |
Josh the Superfluous Inner circle The man of 1881 Posts |
Yesterday naked on the stair,
I met a naked man who wasn't there, He wasn't there naked again today, I wish to God he'd go away...naked.
What do you want in a site? "Honesty, integrity and decency." -Mike Doogan
"I hate it, I hate my ironic lovechild. I didn't even have anything to do with it" Josh #2 |
Rupert Bair Inner circle ? 2179 Posts |
Today I saw a lady.
She was very very hairy. When I asked her name she said Harry. Turns out she was a man. |
Josh the Superfluous Inner circle The man of 1881 Posts |
A blind man screamed
A deaf man sneezed A pleasant lady sat there looking very pleased If you don't believe what I say is true Ask the one armed plumber, he saw it too
What do you want in a site? "Honesty, integrity and decency." -Mike Doogan
"I hate it, I hate my ironic lovechild. I didn't even have anything to do with it" Josh #2 |
Bill Nuvo Inner circle 3094 Posts or 2742 Posts |
Once there was this man named Larry
Who had an egg-shaped head that was really kinda hairy He went out on day, in the month of May to find a cup of soup He turned around and then he found he had to take a poop It was then that he realized that she was standing there Looking at his egg-shaped head with all that long blond hair He finally got some courage and what he said was this "I mean you no disrespect but I have to leave you miss" "That's Okay" said she "I see you need to use the john I just hope for heaven's sake that you don't take too long" "I won't" said he " and this I guarantee I want to see a show tonight. Will you go with me?" She answered "Yes" and hugged him tight He didn't want to stop her. He didn't want to fight Than all of a sudden there was the real big noise Like the sound you get with beans and little boys Larry was embarrassed, the girl was unsure Oh my God hold your nose, the man smells like manure The moral of the story is: When nature calls, do not hesitate For if you do, you pay the price. You deserve your awful fate |
MagiClyde Special user Columbus, Ohio 871 Posts |
Here's an old chestnut, but still funny!
Beans, beans, the magical fruit the more you eat, the more you toot. The more you toot, the better you feel, beans, beans for every meal. That's one way to solve the "gas" shortage! Don't hold anything back!
Magic! The quicker picker-upper!
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Eddie Garland Inner circle Hells Kitchen, New York City 4207 Posts |
I kissed the friendly brown eyed cow
that gives me milk and cheese I'm lying in my nursery now with hoof and mouth disease. |
Chrystal Inner circle Canada/France 1552 Posts |
Ladies and Gentlemen,
Jets and Germs Cockeyed mosquitoes and bull legged worms The admission is free, just pay at the door Pull up a chair And sit on the floor One dark sunny night Two dead boys got up to fight Back to back They faced each other Pulled out a sword And shot each other A deaf policeman heard this noise And came to shoot These two dead boys If you don't believe my lie is true Ask the blindman He saw it too. (Hope I haven't offended anyone with with politically incorrect poem I used to recite at age 10) Suprisingly I still remember it! Chrystal |
stoneunhinged Inner circle 3067 Posts |
Is this all Haiku? I've always wanted to write Haiku. I like Haiku.
Jeff |
Cliffg37 Inner circle Long Beach, CA 2491 Posts |
There once was a man from Nantucket....
oops, I'd better not tell that one here..
Magic is like Science,
Both are fun if you do it right! |
Corona Smith Inner circle Airstrip One 1689 Posts |
Quote:
On 2007-09-15 03:15, stoneunhinged wrote: 18 syllables, but we're not fussy. |
Rupert Bair Inner circle ? 2179 Posts |
The big fat monkey sits in a lonely tree
eating all his jam quietly. |
ed rhodes Inner circle Rhode Island 2885 Posts |
Quote:
On 2007-09-15 00:43, Eddie Garland wrote: I've never seen a purple cow, I hope I never see one. But if I see a purple cow, I'd rather see than be one.] (I never could do haiku. This one doesn't fit the rhyme scheme, but I guess Ian Fleming couldn't do haiku either.) You only live twice, Once when you're born and once when you look death in the face
"...and if you're too afraid of goin' astray, you won't go anywhere." - Granny Weatherwax
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Chrystal Inner circle Canada/France 1552 Posts |
Mine wasn't a haiku. Here's a site to teach haiku for beginners.
http://www.arttech.ab.ca/pbrown/haiku/lesson1.html Happy reading! C |
stoneunhinged Inner circle 3067 Posts |
Chrystal, thanks for the help. But it won't help. I'm easily confused. Especially by haiku. And haiku is *everywhere*. EVERYWHERE, I say!
But my entry for this thread, in 18 unfussy syllables: A horse is a horse Of course of course Unless of course It's a talking horse Is there a smiley for horses? :horse: :Jeff: |
Josh the Superfluous Inner circle The man of 1881 Posts |
Oh poor kitty, please do tell
why are you stinky and why do you swell? Are you just tired? Do you need to be fed? Could this be related to that gash on your head? I'd go to the vet, but I know what he'd say: "Go ask your friends at The Magic Café"
What do you want in a site? "Honesty, integrity and decency." -Mike Doogan
"I hate it, I hate my ironic lovechild. I didn't even have anything to do with it" Josh #2 |
stoneunhinged Inner circle 3067 Posts |
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Josh the Superfluous Inner circle The man of 1881 Posts |
A Yakima Chi-Chi's was desperate one day
to hire some new talent, but they couldn't pay The balloon twisting clown said "No money, No deal Perhaps you should contact that guy named Josh Riel" So management called him and woke up the lush "What?" his phone answered, with a belch and a flush He said he would do it, and they asked him "When?" He said around noon (If he's sober by then) And then he walked in, at a quarter to four "I'm working for beer so make that tap pour!" His t-shirt was stained His fly was unzipped His pants would be tight (if the seat wasn't ripped) His hands were both empty he didn't have props They were used as exhibits by the Yakima cops The staff became nervous, not sure what to do They spaced out the tables so he could walk through After 12 beers, to his pocket he went and brought out some cards stained, soggy and bent "Take one of these" he said "I wont peek" "Now put your name on it, while I take a leak" He went to the bathroom, and didn't come out His living condition, by the staff, was in doubt They pushed and pushed and pushed on the door Wedged up against it was Josh on the floor They put on some gloves and dragged the bum out the restroom was trashed, they started to shout He said "Take it easy. Everything' s cool. I left you a refund on the floor, in a pool."
What do you want in a site? "Honesty, integrity and decency." -Mike Doogan
"I hate it, I hate my ironic lovechild. I didn't even have anything to do with it" Josh #2 |
Rupert Bair Inner circle ? 2179 Posts |
HA! Kudos to Josh the uglyous ventriloquistous manous dolous.
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