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The Magic Cafe Forum Index » » Not very magical, still... » » Don't Make Me Laugh! (0 Likes) Printer Friendly Version

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Chrystal
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Canada/France
1552 Posts

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No seriously...don't make me laugh as I cracked a rib. Ouch it hurts! More so, when I laugh or sneeze. So you guys (meaning both males and females) don't tell me any gut splitting jokes here okay? deal?

Chrystal

>>>awaits future post of jokes to begin.
MagicSanta
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Northern Nevada
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Q. How many Canadians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A. One`
Chrystal
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Canada/France
1552 Posts

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@@ scratches head and looks puzzled. Only one?
Doug Higley
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V.I.P.
Here and There
7173 Posts

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If the Canadian is very very small, he/she can get it done single handed.
Higley's Giant Flea Pocket Zibit
Josh the Superfluous
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The man of
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Mmmmmmm Ribs!
What do you want in a site? "Honesty, integrity and decency." -Mike Doogan
"I hate it, I hate my ironic lovechild. I didn't even have anything to do with it" Josh #2
Rickfcm
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lower Michigan
380 Posts

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What does a bear call someone in a wheel chair?




Meals on wheels.
TomKMagic
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I tripped over
613 Posts

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Quote:
On 2007-09-15 08:51, Josh the Superfluous wrote:
Mmmmmmm Ribs!


are they barbequed?
You must be smarter than the tools you are using...

Tom Kracker
My website
Chrystal
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Canada/France
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Just don't tell me a joke and poke me in the ribs okay? Owwww!

Keep them coming and thanks for the ones posted so far. I chuckled.

C
MagiClyde
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Columbus, Ohio
871 Posts

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Chrystal, just be thankful you don't have any allergies that make you sneeze. A cracked rib and allergies can be a deadly combination in the wrong hands! Smile

If a paranoid magician can't trust himself, who can he trust?
Magic! The quicker picker-upper!
Scott Cram
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How many magicians does it take to change a lightbulb?

Just one. The magician holds the bulb, and the universe revolves around them.



Math problems? Call 1-800-[(10x)(13i)^2]-[sin(xy)/2.362x].
ibm_usa
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In Your Mind, Ky, USA
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A little boy was sitting in the classroom when he had to go and pee, the teacher said he could go if he resited the alphabet. the boy went:
"ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOQRSTUVWXYZ"
the teacher asked,
"Where's the P?"
The little boy said
"Its running down my pants!"
"You may think that i only talk of things from the past, you know, history, well magic is history"

-Guy Jarrett

"Curiosity isn't a sin Harry, but it should be exorcised with great caution."

-Albus Dumbledore (Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire)
http://www.jordanallen-mentalist.webs.com/
Rupert Bair
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?
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I was reading in the papers over here about a scientist who managed to train a spider...after seven years of research and trials he showed it off last week at a science thing.

He told the spider to move forwards. It moved forwards.

He tells it to go backwards, it goes forwards.

He tells the spider to turn around and it does so.

He then explained the most interesting discovery yet, he rips of all the spiders legs and says, "spider move forwards." Nothing. "Spider, Move backwards." Nothing. "Spider...turn around"...still nothing.

He concludes his demonstration by explaining..."see, my most extraordinary discovery is that when I remove its legs, it goes deaf.
smithpaul60
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How can you tell if a bagpipe player has perfect pitch?


simple, he can throw a set into the middle of a pond and miss all the ducks.

_______________________

Albert Einstien once said, "I understand the inventor of the bagpipe was inspired by the sound of a man carring an indignant pig down the middle of the road. Unfortunatly, the bags never matched the sound made by the animal." TRUE

________________________

How late did the band play last night?


About half a beat behind the drummer.

_______________________

How can you tel if you have a lead singer at the door?


He never knows when to come in.
Genuis@work

We're trying to adopt. Visit us HERE
ed rhodes
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Rhode Island
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Quote:
On 2007-09-15 22:10, Scott Cram wrote:
How many magicians does it take to change a lightbulb?

Just one. The magician holds the bulb, and the universe revolves around them.


Actually, five. One to change the bulb, two to argue about how much better the bulbs used to be changed in their day, one to expose the bulb changing method on youtube and one to steal the idea and market it through penguin magic!

Quote:
On 2007-09-15 23:20, smithpaul60 wrote:
How can you tell if a bagpipe player has perfect pitch?


simple, he can throw a set into the middle of a pond and miss all the ducks.

_______________________

Albert Einstien once said, "I understand the inventor of the bagpipe was inspired by the sound of a man carring an indignant pig down the middle of the road. Unfortunatly, the bags never matched the sound made by the animal." TRUE


I read somewhere that the bagpipes are actually an Irish invention. The Irish introduced them to the Scottish, and the Scottish never caught on to the joke!
"There's no time to lose," I heard her say.
"Catch your dreams before they slip away."
"Dying all the time, lose your dreams and you could lose your mind.
Ain't life unkind?"
MagicSanta
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Northern Nevada
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Did they explain why Irish pipes are different than Highland pipes used in Scotland?
Al Angello
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Eternal Order
Collegeville, Pa. USA
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Did you hear about the new French restaurant on the Moon? Great food, but no atmosphere. BUDDA BOOM
Al Angello The Comic Juggler/Magician
http://www.juggleral.com
http://home.comcast.net/~juggleral/
"Footprints on your ceiling are almost gone"
michaelmystic2003
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Don't worry, I won't make you laugh.... Smile

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CwqncBMshm0
Follow Michael Kras on Twitter! http://www.twitter.com/KrasMagic

Check out The Kras Change at Vanishing Inc Magic! http://www.vanishingincmagic.com/magic-downloads/ebooks/kras-change/
Jaz
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NJ, U.S.
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Hope you heal soon.
No joke. Smile
Chrystal
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Canada/France
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Thanks to all for the jokes!! You had me all smiling!

Jaz, thank you.

Chrystal
TomKMagic
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I tripped over
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There once was a man from Nantucket...
You must be smarter than the tools you are using...

Tom Kracker
My website
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