The Magic Café
Username:
Password:
[ Lost Password ]
  [ Forgot Username ]
The Magic Cafe Forum Index » » Puzzle me this... » » Limericks (0 Likes) Printer Friendly Version

 Go to page [Previous]  1~2~3..8~9~10~11~12..20~21~22 [Next]
Top Hat
View Profile
Inner circle
We peed on you!
1077 Posts

Profile of Top Hat
The poetry form called haiku,
Is one that I really quite laiku.
One has to contrive
A neat five-seven-five.
Now write one, or get on your baiku.

An empty top hat.
Magician reaches inside.
Behold the rabbit.



When Santa Claus came down the chimney,
TH Smile Smile Smile Smile Smile
Thomas Wayne
View Profile
Inner circle
Alaska
2240 Posts

Profile of Thomas Wayne
When Santa Claus came down the chimney,
He became an unpleasant nominee
for removing a poker
(misplaced by some joker)
from a most unmentionable cavity

[haiku version:]
Stiff walking Santa
Top surgeon reaches inside.
How did that get there?




If the thought of that seems too unpleasant
MOST magicians: "Here's a quarter, it's gone, you're an idiot, it's back, you're a jerk, show's over." Jerry Seinfeld
landmark
View Profile
Inner circle
within a triangle
4724 Posts

Profile of landmark
If the thought of that seems unpleasant,
Consider my last Christmas present:
They opened me up
And out came a pup,
A ringtailed lemur, and a pheasant.


So now we're up to page seven
Thomas Wayne
View Profile
Inner circle
Alaska
2240 Posts

Profile of Thomas Wayne
So now we're up to page seven
We might even get to eleven
Though some are not bad
The rest are quite sad
And the bulk of them smell to high heaven



The geek show on tour countrywide
MOST magicians: "Here's a quarter, it's gone, you're an idiot, it's back, you're a jerk, show's over." Jerry Seinfeld
Top Hat
View Profile
Inner circle
We peed on you!
1077 Posts

Profile of Top Hat
The geek show on tour countrywide,
(Star guest for this year, Jeff McBride),
Sees a bunch of retards,
With their Bicycle cards.
Shall we go? It's not hard to decide.


Face to face with a large grizzly bear,
TH Smile Smile Smile Smile Smile
Top Hat
View Profile
Inner circle
We peed on you!
1077 Posts

Profile of Top Hat
Face to face with a large grizzly bear,
It gave me a hell of a scare.
I'm not a brave guy -
Little wonder that I
No longer have clean underwear.


(I'm so hooked, I'm even finishing my own limericks).


One day we'll live on the moon,
TH Smile Smile Smile Smile Smile
Top Hat
View Profile
Inner circle
We peed on you!
1077 Posts

Profile of Top Hat
One day we'll live on the moon,
I expect it will be fairly soon.
We'll set up our base
And then drift through deep space
Like an oversized hot-air balloon.


(Damn).


I am finding it tough to admit,
TH Smile Smile Smile Smile Smile
Thomas Wayne
View Profile
Inner circle
Alaska
2240 Posts

Profile of Thomas Wayne
I am finding it tough to admit,
That these limericks are damm hard to quit
I'd wait for my friends
so the fun never ends
but seems like I keep being "it".


I sipped on a large margarita
MOST magicians: "Here's a quarter, it's gone, you're an idiot, it's back, you're a jerk, show's over." Jerry Seinfeld
Top Hat
View Profile
Inner circle
We peed on you!
1077 Posts

Profile of Top Hat
I sipped on a large margarita,
While reading the Bhagavad Gita.
I sat - my legs crossed -
On a carpet that cost
More than two hundred bucks per square meter.


My favourite fruit is the pear,
TH Smile Smile Smile Smile Smile
Tone
View Profile
Elite user
The Secret Theater
419 Posts

Profile of Tone
My favourite fruit is the pear,
Nothing else can ever compare!
When I suck out the juice
I can finally let loose
As I sit on my couch in the bare.



My girlfriend once lived in Tacoma,
╪ͥͥͥͥͥͥͥͥͥͥͥͥ͏͋͏͋͏͋͏͋͏͋͏͋͏͋͏͋͏╪ͥͥͥͥͥͥͥͥͥͥͥͥ͏͋͏͋͏͋͏͋͏͋͏͋͏͋͏͋͏╪ͥͥͥͥͥͥͥͥͥͥͥͥ͏͋͏͋͏͋͏͋͏͋͏͋͏͋͏͋͏╪ͥͥͥͥͥͥͥͥͥͥͥͥ͏͋͏͋͏͋͏͋͏͋͏͋͏͋͏͋͏╪ͥͥͥͥͥͥͥͥͥͥͥͥ͏͋͏͋͏͋͏͋͏͋͏͋͏͋͏͋͏╪ͥͥͥͥͥͥͥͥͥͥͥͥ͏͋͏͋͏͋͏͋͏͋͏͋͏͋͏͋͏╪ͥͥͥͥͥͥͥͥͥͥͥͥ͏͋͏͋͏͋͏͋͏͋͏͋͏͋͏͋͏╪ͥͥͥͥͥͥͥͥͥͥͥͥ͏͋͏͋͏͋͏͋͏͋͏͋͏͋͏͋͏╪ͥͥͥͥͥͥͥͥͥͥͥͥ͏͋͏͋͏͋͏͋͏͋͏͋͏͋͏͋͏╪ͥͥͥͥͥͥͥͥͥͥͥͥ͏͋͏͋͏͋͏͋͏͋͏͋͏͋͏͋͏╪ͥͥͥͥͥͥͥͥͥͥͥͥ͏͋͏͋͏͋͏͋͏͋͏͋͏͋͏͋͏╪ͥͥͥͥͥͥͥͥͥͥͥͥ͏͋͏͋͏͋͏͋͏͋͏͋͏͋͏͋͏╪ͥͥͥͥͥͥͥͥͥͥͥͥ͏͋͏͋͏͋͏͋͏͋͏͋͏͋͏͋͏╪ͥͥͥͥͥͥͥͥͥ╪ͥͥͥͥͥͥͥͥͥͥͥͥ͏͋͏͋͏͋͏͋͏͋͏͋͏͋͏͋͏╪ͥͥͥͥͥͥͥͥͥͥͥͥ͏͋͏͋͏͋͏͋͏͋͏͋͏͋͏͋͏╪ͥͥͥͥͥͥͥͥͥͥͥͥ͏͋͏͋͏͋͏͋͏͋͏͋͏͋͏͋͏╪ͥͥͥͥͥͥͥͥͥͥͥͥ͏͋͏͋͏͋͏͋͏͋͏͋͏͋͏͋͏╪ͥͥͥͥͥͥͥͥͥͥͥͥ͏͋͏͋͏͋͏͋͏͋͏͋͏͋͏͋͏╪ͥͥͥͥͥͥͥͥͥͥͥͥ͏͋͏͋͏͋͏͋͏͋͏͋͏͋͏͋͏╪ͥͥͥͥͥͥͥͥͥͥͥͥ͏͋͏͋͏͋͏͋͏͋͏͋͏͋͏͋͏╪ͥͥͥͥͥͥͥͥͥͥͥͥ͏͋͏͋͏͋͏͋͏͋͏͋͏͋͏͋͏╪ͥͥͥͥͥͥͥͥͥͥͥͥ͏͋͏͋͏͋͏͋͏͋͏͋͏͋͏͋͏╪ͥͥͥͥͥͥͥͥͥͥͥͥ͏͋͏͋͏͋͏͋͏͋͏͋͏͋͏͋͏╪ͥͥͥͥͥͥͥͥͥͥͥͥ͏͋͏͋͏͋͏͋͏͋͏͋͏͋͏͋͏╪ͥͥͥͥͥͥͥͥͥͥͥͥ͏͋͏͋͏͋͏͋͏͋͏͋͏͋͏͋͏╪ͥͥͥͥͥͥͥͥͥͥͥͥ͏͋͏͋͏͋͏͋͏͋͏͋͏͋͏͋͏╪ͥͥͥͥͥͥͥͥͥͥͥͥ͏͋͏͋͏͋͏͋͏͋͏͋͏͋͏͋͏╪ͥͥͥͥͥͥͥͥͥͥͥͥ͏͋͏͋͏͋͏͋͏͋͏͋͏͋͏͋͏╪ͥͥͥͥͥͥͥͥͥͥͥͥ͏͋͏͋͏͋͏͋͏͋͏͋͏͋͏͋͏╪ͥͥͥͥͥͥͥͥͥͥͥͥ͏͋͏͋͏͋͏͋͏͋͏͋͏͋͏͋͏╪ͥͥͥͥͥͥͥͥͥͥͥͥ͏͋͏͋͏͋͏͋͏͋͏͋͏͋͏͋͏╪ͥͥͥͥͥͥͥͥͥͥͥͥ͏͋͏͋͏͋͏͋͏͋͏͋͏͋͏͋͏╪ͥͥͥͥͥͥͥͥͥͥͥͥ͏͋͏͋͏͋͏͋͏͋͏͋͏͋͏͋͏╪ͥͥͥͥͥͥͥͥͥͥͥͥ͏͋͏͋͏͋͏͋͏͋͏͋͏͋͏͋͏╪ͥͥͥͥͥͥͥͥͥͥͥͥ͏͋͏͋͏͋͏͋͏͋͏͋͏͋͏͋͏╪ͥͥͥͥͥͥͥͥͥͥͥͥ͏͋͏͋͏͋͏͋͏͋͏͋͏͋͏͋͏╪ͥͥͥͥͥͥͥͥͥ
Top Hat
View Profile
Inner circle
We peed on you!
1077 Posts

Profile of Top Hat
My girlfriend once lived in Tacoma,
Shacked up with a fat guy called Homer,
Her nickname for him,
Was "Featherweight Jim",
Which, of course, was a howling misnomer.


On the back of my car there's a sign,
TH Smile Smile Smile Smile Smile
Top Hat
View Profile
Inner circle
We peed on you!
1077 Posts

Profile of Top Hat
On the back of my car there's a sign,
Promoting my home-made red wine.
I was driving last night,
When appeared a blue light.
"Hello offisher, I veel jusht fine".


Anagrams are such great fun,
TH Smile Smile Smile Smile Smile
landmark
View Profile
Inner circle
within a triangle
4724 Posts

Profile of landmark
Anagrams are such great fun
Moving letters around one by one
In the contest in March
Shifting letters had charm,
Best in prayer: presbyterian, won

Oh my is that a dagger I see?
Top Hat
View Profile
Inner circle
We peed on you!
1077 Posts

Profile of Top Hat
Oh my, is that a dagger I see?
Thought the vagrant, in need of a pee.
He loosened his zip,
And then with a firm grip,
Left his mark on the bark of the tree.


I've been listening to "Songs From A Room",
TH Smile Smile Smile Smile Smile
magicgeorge
View Profile
Inner circle
Belfast
4299 Posts

Profile of magicgeorge
I've been listening to "songs from a room",
And wallowing in a big tub of gloom,
It's not just Macbeth,
That's obsessed by death:
cos none beats Cohen for doom.

Blah blahblah blah blahblah blah blah,
Top Hat
View Profile
Inner circle
We peed on you!
1077 Posts

Profile of Top Hat
Blah blahblah blah blahblah blah blah,
Said Macbeth as he saw the daggah,
"You can see a big knife?",
Translated his wife,
And in reply he just went: "yah".


An ejector seat has been installed,
TH Smile Smile Smile Smile Smile
smithpaul60
View Profile
Veteran user
South Carolina
301 Posts

Profile of smithpaul60
An ejector seat has been installed,
that now has been quickly recalled,
"Come get it replaced,
or become human waste,"
said the ad which had been quickly scrawled.


I am doomed to remember a boy...
Genuis@work

We're trying to adopt. Visit us HERE
stoneunhinged
View Profile
Inner circle
3079 Posts

Profile of stoneunhinged
I am doomed to remember a boy
Who claimed an ingenious ploy
He said went he sat
On a dignified rat
The parliament clamored with joy



Seventeen bicycles tainted...
Thomas Wayne
View Profile
Inner circle
Alaska
2240 Posts

Profile of Thomas Wayne
Seventeen bicycles tainted...
With taggers' designs all spray painted
On top of their seats
And where they put their feets;
When the owners saw them they all fainted



So you don't like the way my hair's parted
MOST magicians: "Here's a quarter, it's gone, you're an idiot, it's back, you're a jerk, show's over." Jerry Seinfeld
magicgeorge
View Profile
Inner circle
Belfast
4299 Posts

Profile of magicgeorge
"So you don't like the way my hair's parted?"
"You misheard, what I said was 'departed',
When we met, up top,
You had quite a mop
And know you have quite sparce head."

Three monkeys were riding a tractor,
The Magic Cafe Forum Index » » Puzzle me this... » » Limericks (0 Likes)
 Go to page [Previous]  1~2~3..8~9~10~11~12..20~21~22 [Next]
[ Top of Page ]
All content & postings Copyright © 2001-2019 Steve Brooks. All Rights Reserved.
This page was created in 2.01 seconds requiring 5 database queries.
The views and comments expressed on The Magic Café
are not necessarily those of The Magic Café, Steve Brooks, or Steve Brooks Magic.
> Privacy Statement <

ROTFL Billions and billions served! ROTFL