|
|
Go to page [Previous] 1~2~3..9~10~11~12~13..20~21~22 [Next] | ||||||||||
stoneunhinged Inner circle 3067 Posts |
Three monkeys were riding a tractor
But doing work was not even a factor When the farmer, irate Aggressed them with hate They pulled out their clubs and attacked her On top of the mountain stood Harry |
|||||||||
landmark Inner circle within a triangle 5194 Posts |
On the top of the mountain stood Harry
Houdini, that is, and then Larry Jennings, of course A powerful force My favorite is Richardson, Barrie. There was a young lady from London
Click here to get Gerald Deutsch's Perverse Magic: The First Sixteen Years
All proceeds to Open Heart Magic charity. |
|||||||||
Thomas Wayne Inner circle Alaska 1977 Posts |
There was a young lady from London
Who's bustier suddenly came undone With a very loud ‘POP’ And unsettling ‘FLOP” And we learned she weren’t really a young’n My bicycle cards are all red
MOST magicians: "Here's a quarter, it's gone, you're an idiot, it's back, you're a jerk, show's over." Jerry Seinfeld
|
|||||||||
Top Hat Inner circle We peed on you! 1077 Posts |
"My bicycle cards are all red",
A close-up magician once said. "I performed using blue At my FISM debut, But now prefer this kind instead". My new aftershave is fantastic,
TH
|
|||||||||
stoneunhinged Inner circle 3067 Posts |
My new aftershave is fantastic
Bay rum in a bottle of plastic For less than a buck And a lot of great luck The costs of romance aren't so drastic My cups are made out of copper... |
|||||||||
Top Hat Inner circle We peed on you! 1077 Posts |
My cups are made out of copper,
My tackle of flexible rubber, I look like a nerd, With a low IQ, And a brain that's made out of sponge. I purchased a bottle of whiskey,
TH
|
|||||||||
Douglas.M Elite user 465 Posts |
I purchased a bottle of whiskey,
which made my assistant quite frisky, I said "I'll saw you in half", but she gave a laugh, and said your equipment is terribly risky. A spectator started to burp, |
|||||||||
Top Hat Inner circle We peed on you! 1077 Posts |
A spectator started to burp,
(and the audience to twitter and chirp) When, just for a joke, I picked up his Coke And took an almighty great slurp. At the end of my road there's a sign,
TH
|
|||||||||
Thomas Wayne Inner circle Alaska 1977 Posts |
At the end of my road there's a sign,
That I always ignore (which is fine) 'Til one day a cop Said that I had to stop Or I'd be doing serious time. The petition is managed by jerks
MOST magicians: "Here's a quarter, it's gone, you're an idiot, it's back, you're a jerk, show's over." Jerry Seinfeld
|
|||||||||
Top Hat Inner circle We peed on you! 1077 Posts |
The petition is managed by jerks,
The following one of their quirks: They ask you to "sign", With a keyboard online! I have no idea whether it works. I have trained my pet chimp to play darts,
TH
|
|||||||||
Thomas Wayne Inner circle Alaska 1977 Posts |
I have trained my pet chimp to play darts,
While he drinks beer and whistles and farts And stomps with his feet, A medley complete With kudos from fans of the arts. In Alaska it gets mighty cold
MOST magicians: "Here's a quarter, it's gone, you're an idiot, it's back, you're a jerk, show's over." Jerry Seinfeld
|
|||||||||
Top Hat Inner circle We peed on you! 1077 Posts |
In Alaska it gets mighty cold,
(Minus forty in winter, I'm told). But the really bad thing Is that each year, in spring, Your balls become coated in mold. Today I had breakfast in bed,
TH
|
|||||||||
Top Hat Inner circle We peed on you! 1077 Posts |
Today I had breakfast in bed:
Fried parsnips and stilton-topped bread, Prune ice-cream (one scoop) And brussel-sprout soup. It's one fart from me and you're dead. I don't wish to make a big fuss,
TH
|
|||||||||
Top Hat Inner circle We peed on you! 1077 Posts |
I don't wish to make a big fuss,
But your arse is as large as a bus. Where on earth do you sit With that piece of kit? I don't have the answers. Discuss. This site needs a new colour scheme,
TH
|
|||||||||
Nir Dahan Inner circle Munich, Germany 1390 Posts |
This site needs a new color scheme
He said to the Café's software team until his wish they'd fulfill he tried - LSD pill now for him it looks like a dream I live in the city of Munich |
|||||||||
Top Hat Inner circle We peed on you! 1077 Posts |
I live in the city of Munich.
Round the Marienplatz, wearing my tunic, I ferociously cry: "The world's end is nigh!" In my mother tongue, Phoenician Punic. He is clearly as nutty as squirrel poo,
TH
|
|||||||||
Thomas Wayne Inner circle Alaska 1977 Posts |
He is clearly as nutty as squirrel poo,
And probably a bit dangerous, too With his flashpaper pants And Samoan fire dance We might as well bid him adieu! (with respect for his great derring-do!) ('cause he flew like a true kangaroo) (and they'll find him in Kalamazoo) ('cause that's just how high his ass blew) I wondered if Nir would come back
MOST magicians: "Here's a quarter, it's gone, you're an idiot, it's back, you're a jerk, show's over." Jerry Seinfeld
|
|||||||||
Top Hat Inner circle We peed on you! 1077 Posts |
I wondered if Nir would come back
In a dirty old grey plastic mac. I'll make a request As to how he is dressed. For all we know he posts wearing jack. I'm suspicious of Vladimir Putin,
TH
|
|||||||||
smithpaul60 Veteran user South Carolina 301 Posts |
I'm suspicious of Vladimir Putin;
whose ideas are a bit highfalutin. For his czar-like power is a delicate flower, and liable to end like Rasputin('s). Who want's to take my Business exam? |
|||||||||
Nir Dahan Inner circle Munich, Germany 1390 Posts |
Who wants to take my Business exam?
cause I just don't give a *** I will definitely pay there is no other way yeah! that's a pretty good scam Akhat Shtayim Shalosh! |
|||||||||
The Magic Cafe Forum Index » » Puzzle me this... » » Limericks (0 Likes) | ||||||||||
Go to page [Previous] 1~2~3..9~10~11~12~13..20~21~22 [Next] |
[ Top of Page ] |
All content & postings Copyright © 2001-2024 Steve Brooks. All Rights Reserved. This page was created in 0.04 seconds requiring 5 database queries. |
The views and comments expressed on The Magic Café are not necessarily those of The Magic Café, Steve Brooks, or Steve Brooks Magic. > Privacy Statement < |