I'm out of estrogen and I've got a gun!

What did the snowman say to the tree...

Tree: If you take a set up from column A and a punchline from column b and randomly match them up, you'd be surprised how often it works.
Snowman: Oh, so that's how you do modern humor?

When is a mathematician like a shoe?

Edd

Anyone here know the difference between toilet paper and a shower curtain?

Edd: They both seem to have tongues but they are boring to talk to. =)
Curt: There is a difference!?

2 prisoners are plotting to escape. One says to the other.....

Not right now, I'm playing Gag Tag.


Ya Baby! Funny stuff ricker

How do you know if Santa's raided your frig?

White hairs in the butter.

A couple of Cats end up in divorce court she says about him "_________!"

Edd

A couple of Cats end up in divorce court she says about him "meow meow meow meow...meow meow meow meow meow....meow meow meow meow meow meow meow...meow meow meow meow meow....meow meow meow meow meow meow meow...meow meow meow meow meow....meow meow meow meow meow meow meow...meow meow meow meow meow....meow meow meow meow meow meow meow...meow meow meow meow meow....meow meow meow meow meow meow meow...meow meow meow meow meow....meow meow meow meow meow meow meow...meow meow meow meow meow....meow meow meow MEOW!"

The pope walks into a bar narrowly missing it and knocks his rather large hat off...

The pope walks into a bar narrowly missing it and knocks his rather large hat off(The pope mutters "I wish my hat was unfallable") whereupon it is set upon by a large lion (who happened to be in the bar for a completely different joke). The lion eats the hat.
The Pope starts jumping up and down crying "I want my hat".
The barman say "here have this bowler"
The pope says "Where's the point in that?"

A penguin walks into a chocolate bar......

Bartender looks at the penguin and says, "What is this, some kind of joke?"

Santa gets home from his long Christmas Eve flight and the first thing he says when he gets in he door is......

Where is that Garmin 800 #.

Magician ask's his spouse, can I buy an new illusion?

answer...

Wife says, "sure as long as you give me your credit card and 2 days at Pay Less Shoe Store." =)

Why do women need so many pairs of shoes?.....

So men will look someplace other than their chest.


How do you know your Thumb Tip needs replacing?

When you start calling it Timmy the Thumb Tip and start paying more attention to it then your wife.

Where is the first place you should look if you misplace your TT?

:: unzips fly ::

Whatdo you do if your TT is not in your crotch region? In other words, where should you look if your TT is not near your PP?

Bend Over

Explain what the meaning of life is to a magician....

From a Magician...Buying the latest effect...

To a Magician...Snatch the sponge ball from my hand...then grasshopper you have found Balance....Step away from the mirror. ..Step away from the....


What did the newly wed say to their magician spouse?

Honey this box is our new queen size bed. The swords are just for the curtains. Seriosuly. I promise. It is SOOOO comfortable. Why don't you try it out. =)

When should you stop listening to a magician?

Pardon?

What's black and white and headbutts freezers?

Michael Jackson looking for a blowpop. Ok that was bad. lol

What should a good magician do to prevent boredom?

Post on the Gag Tag topic on the Magic Café.

How do magicians with no arms perform sleight of hand?