Man, that smells funny...
Why did the magician hire the clown?...

To face the music ... with 50 horrible creepy kids that have destroyed all his props the last time he performed for them.

What did Nani Darnell said when she met Fr. Photius at a convention?

(You want to know what she really said to me at WMS or something funny?)

She said she would run off to Tahiti with me just as soon as my wife said I could. (she really said that)

How can you tell that Jeff McBride has been eating at your breakfast table?

Choose one:
A. There are corn flakes all over the table and floor and some... still floating in the air.
B. There is a cereal bowl left behind with masks on it.
C. The floor has ben cleaned/ swept with his long robes.


(Nani Darnell for us young nerds in the 60's was our first "love interest".)

What has a red nose and smells like grease paint and bourbon?

Ruldolph the Red Nosed Drunk Clown.

(Nani has been my dream girl since 1953)


How many peanuts does it take to turn a magic clown's nose red?

"Ruldolph the Red Nosed Drunk Clown." That is EXCELLENT !


now about the peanuts:

The same number it takes to make a bottle of Peanut Liquor.


How many secret pockets are there in a "Devel's Jacket"?

Hey, Nani, ..... (she) was MY dream girl too.

Now, we've both had an imaginary affair with the same girl.

That's just not right.

Oh yea,

my set up of the last joke was:
(And if I could spell, that would be better.)


How many secret pockets are there in a "Devil's Jacket"?

I'm not gonna open his jacket to find out until Fr. Photius administers an excorcism!

Why did Nani Darnell post her profile on an on-line dating service?

Well it sure wasn't so she could get fan mail or attention from men, they still line up around the block for her.


How can you tell if Johnny Thompson has been wearing your suit in his act?

There are safety pins hanging all over the inside of the jacket.


How many Imps in an Imp Bottle?

None... It's IMPty.

(Answer to... "How can you tell if Johnny Thompson has been wearing your suit?)
A price tag is hanging from your coat sleeve. (Remember his Polish Magician Act?)

Why did Alex Elmsley refuse to count cards in Vegas?

Because he couldn't accurately count them anywhere else.
(Gee all of you passed on the dove poop on the jacket line for Johnny)


How can you tell that Eugene Burger has been in your sugar bowl?

'Cause Jeff McBride is in your milk jug yelling "Sweet"!

How do you know David Copperfield has been in your bed?

The sheets smell like David Copperfield ....... and a duck.



What is the sound that David Copperfield makes when climbing into an illusion?

Grrrrr .... and saying annoyingly "why is the *** trapdoor locked?"

What did Jeff McBride say when his masks are stuck onto his face and he cannot get them off at all?

Hi Yo Silver!

How can you tell Dirk Losander has been in your kitchen?

The kitchen table seems..... a little lighter than normal.



How does Losander get thru the inspecion line at the airport?

He encases himself in a bubble and floats through.

How can you tell that Max Mavin really isn't Dr. Zolar's evil twin?

Dr. Zolar is 2 feet taller than Max Mavin and Dr. Zolar has all his own hair.

(Dr. Zolar only shaves his head for performance.)



How often does Dr. Zolar shave his head?