Neil Foster forgot to wear clothes once. Tim Wright copied him.

Are Siberians the only ones to escape from chains?

Houdini tried and succeeded and being a good marketer that he is no one knew about the Siberians any more.

Why did the magician perform the Zig Zag lady illusion for the magicians (who already have the zig zags) in a magic convention?

And leave it in the van? Then no one would know they have one. They zigged when they should have zagged.

Does a strong wind blow down the Haines House of Cards? Is the House of Fakini fake? Is any magic made by the elves at Hank Lee's Magic Factory? Why is it L & L Publishing when their main products are DVDs? Is Dick a Stoner? Are any donuts made at the Magic Bakery?

Yes. Yes. Yes. Why indeed? Yes. Don't be silly.

How do you catch a purple bear?

Shoot it with a purple gun.

How did the magician catch fire when he is just performing the fantasio candles?

The candle was too close to his flash paper pocket hankey.

Why do magicians aways kiss their doves before putting them in the vanishing bird cage?

They are not kissing the dove ... they are saying (to the dove), "God bless you and I hope the cage doesn't kill you as many others have died in this horrible cage"

Why do magicians don't walk like penguins when they are dressed in tails?

Penguin Magic, of course!, and there are no tails on their internet site. Since the company founders of Penguin Magic were all Wolverines, they are similar animal kingdom members. Don't a lot of magicians waddle anyway?

Does anyone ever eat a Figton Newton offered to them by Mac King? Speaking of Newtons- if Wayne Newton got divorced, married Olivia Newton-John, then got divorced again, married Elton John, would he then be Wayne Newton Newton-John John?

Whoops, is there a relationship between the Fig Newtons Mac King uses and the same stage at Harrah's that featured Wayne Newton? Are these Fig Newtons made at The Magic Bakery? Is there any dough in magic? Is the only difference between the upper crust and the lower crust is that there is more dough amongst the crumbled flakes? Why don't more magic tricks involve Keebler elves? (that's the yeast we could do...)

I wonder if magic bus had the magic munchies after all of that?


How do you make woofle dust out of orange woofles?

By setting the Blendtec to "smoothie". But will it misdirect? Now *that* is the question.

How do you get a clown out of a tree?

Tell him he has a job and he is needed to be there in 30 minutes time.

Who is more jobless ... the magician, the clown, the mentalist, the escape artist and the comedian? And WHY?

I thought they were all the same person?...
What did the magician do when his IT snapped?...

He looked foolish.

What did he do when he dropped his billiard ball s**ll?

Nothing ... he did not even know that he dropped something.

Why did the magician laugh when he found out that halfway in his performance his did not zippered up his trousers?

He thought he was Mac King doing the selected card from the front trousers zipper gag.

What did the magician say when he dropped his billard ball shell (and it ended up resting open side up on the stage floor, like a miniature bowl of soup)?

He crushed the shell flat by stepping and stomping on it and then say that those balls are not made solid anymore.

What did the magician do when he is performing the torch to cane and his hair caught fire?

He thought "hair today, goon tomorrow!"

Why did the illusionist set all of his illusions on fire?

To create the perfect excuse to buy new ones.

Why did the magician develop a new act using only 35 thumb tips?

Because his act only had room for 11 tricks.


Why did the magician shave his rabbit?

Because his hare was getting too shaggy.

What's the difference between a street magician and an unemployed Enron exec?