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The Magic Cafe Forum Index » » Now that’s funny! » » Gag tag (0 Likes) Printer Friendly Version

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Father Photius
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The others left him in disgust because of all he is always exposing himself.

Why did the magician always ship his assistants in ATA cases?
"Now here's the man with the 25 cent hands, that two bit magician..."
JamesTong
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Its cheaper than air tickets and if the case gets lost he can just deny everything.

Why did the magician not ship himself in an ATA case but do that for his assistants?
joseph
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They were fly girls..
How many assistants does it take to help the masked magician?...
"Everything should be made as simple as possible, but no simpler." (Einstein)...
Father Photius
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It doesn't matter, he doesn't know what he is doing and neither do they.

Why did the magician's assistant fill his pockets with jello?
"Now here's the man with the 25 cent hands, that two bit magician..."
JRob
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Joke's really on the magician. It was pudding...well not really as the ATA cases have no bathroom facilities

Did the Masked Magician's assistant do the same with his mask?
"Jim Roberts, AKA: Professor Jay Rob "<br>
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JamesTong
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That's why he could not see what he is doing and does not know why he is doing what he is doing.

Why must the magician's assistants insist on wearing high heels?
Father Photius
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Since she does all the work, it is the only way she can safely afford to get high.

Where did Celeste Evans really hide all those doves?
"Now here's the man with the 25 cent hands, that two bit magician..."
MagicBus
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Otherwise their toes won't show in the bottom of the Zig Zag.

How many temples are there in Benares? Is there sands other than in India? Is rice generally stored in cereal bowls? What is a Lota and why is that a bowl? What deck did Svengali use to play cards? Where is the Egyptian Hall? Was Houdini the first to feature water boarding? What do those little devilish imps that appear on so many magic posters have anything to do with magic?
Father Photius
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One, yes,no,a small norweigian mammel the bones of which make excellent water producing bowls, invisible deck, Cairo, no, they don't.


Now where did Celeste Evans really hide those doves?
"Now here's the man with the 25 cent hands, that two bit magician..."
JamesTong
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In places she thinks you would never suspect.

Why must magicians take all the trouble to hide the doves and then take all the trouble to bring them out in funny ways so the audience believes it is magic?
Father Photius
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Because they feel like they are giving the audience the bird.

Why did the magician break a violin over his assistant's head?
"Now here's the man with the 25 cent hands, that two bit magician..."
MagicBus
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Because Dave Kaplan's mandolin was already duct taped together and his violin did not float away like Norm Nielson's. Or maybe it was Norm taking it out on Lupe', who knows.

Where did Blackstone's ducks go? How many magicians does it take to screw in a floating light bulb? How do TV Magic Cards work with flat screened monitors? Are cards so hot that they need fanning powder?- do they need diapers as well? Is there any oil or water in card tricks? Why do so few magicians now have handlebar mustaches? Is it a top hat or opera hat? Since Suzie Wandas is already taken, can I use the name Roger Cups and Ballsas?
Father Photius
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Can't tell you, its a family secret, only one but they have to belong to the Bouton family, Not extremely well, mine are, no only if you use the baby sized cards, yes in oil secreted from skin glands and sweat, they all learned to ride without using their hands, both, sure go for it.

How much speed does magic bus need to take to get such a run of questions?
"Now here's the man with the 25 cent hands, that two bit magician..."
JamesTong
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3 seconds ... copy and pasted from Jay's magic college's test questions for the handicapped magicians.

Why did the magician think he can fool the audience with his everflowing Lota bowl?
MagicBus
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Because he first poured the "water" into the Lota Bowl using his enclosed magic "milk pitcher" from his daughter's Barbie Doll set. He also thought his audience would be amazed when he balanced his belt on the 'ole wood finger hook effect and completed his routine doing nickels to dimes.

If Duke did his dye version, and McComb his deck, and Marshall his thumb tie, and Blackstone his bird cage, what does The Amazing Jonathan do?
Father Photius
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Laughs all the way to the bank.


Why does Mac King never eat fried goldfish?
"Now here's the man with the 25 cent hands, that two bit magician..."
MagikDavid
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He's on a low-cholesterol diet.

What did the magician do when his break-a-way wand didn't break away?
One good thing about being wrong...
Is the pleasure it brings to others.
JamesTong
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He discovered a new trick - the break-a-away wand that did not break away.

Why did the magician wave his hand at items whenever he wants to vanish them?
Father Photius
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He is waving good-bye to the item.

Why does James Tong keep a gallon of vinegar in his trunk?
"Now here's the man with the 25 cent hands, that two bit magician..."
joseph
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To practice his water and vinegar routine...
Why did the magician do 20 packet tricks in a row?...
"Everything should be made as simple as possible, but no simpler." (Einstein)...
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