It turns into a pumpkin after midnight.


What kind of cheese is made backwards?

Dancing With The Stars (or "edam")

How many lighbulbs does it take to change a magician?

Just the one, in the right place, will change an IT worker into a lame puppeteer.

What did the escape artist say to the cucumber?

"***...I need to find a girlfriend. Same time next week?"


You can measure time and you can measure other things, but why does president bush wear two shoes?

Because someone else dresses him.

What sound does a crabapple tree make?

A Crust-Achin one.

What did the bicycle say to the deck of cards?

I'm two tyred I'll deal with you later. (groan)

Give me a sentence using the word 'poppycock'

One time I ate a poppycock bagel and I tested positive for marijuana....

What's the difference between a poppycock and a shuttlecock?

One is the Daddy & ....

What did Orville Rednebokker say when he discovered his popcorn?

Pop! You gotta come in here and see this!

Why are magicians assistants so tall?

So they can supply extended support?

Why are there no wheelbarrows in the jungle?

Because snakes don't have arms, the sloths are too lazy and the elephants have their own trunks.

Who stole the cookie from the cookie jar?

Because none of the animals know how to pronounce it.....

Why do cats meow?

Because if they went moo they'd be cows...and no one wants to have a cow sit on their lap.

Wky did KobiHasOneEye ignore my answer?

Jealousy; there were two i's in your question.

What's wobbly and smells of cabbages?

My Uncle...

Where do reindeer eat?

At Burger KING.

Who put the bop in the bop She bop?

Burger king. (they doo woppers)

What do you get if you cross 2 sheep and Albert Goshman?

Dung under a Salt Shaker

Why was the magician cross eyed?

He was trying to confuse an NLPer.

What's a frog's favourite card game?