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The Magic Cafe Forum Index » » Now that’s funny! » » Gag tag (0 Likes) Printer Friendly Version

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francisngkl
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He has memorized all his bookings... all belong to his wife.

Why do stage magicians always have beautiful girls working with them?
Carpe Diem, Seize The Day!
Father Photius
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El Paso, TX (Formerly Amarillo)
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If you have to pay them, why work with ugly women?

Why did the magician flush all his sponge balls down the toilet?
"Now here's the man with the 25 cent hands, that two bit magician..."
francisngkl
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He had them for dinner the night before.

Why is the hand faster than the eyes?
Carpe Diem, Seize The Day!
Father Photius
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Because if it isn't all of us are out of work.


Why did the magician's assistant fill the sub trunk with bananas?
"Now here's the man with the 25 cent hands, that two bit magician..."
francisngkl
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She has to bring food for her children who are playing amongst the trees.

Why is the chop cup called the chop cup?
Carpe Diem, Seize The Day!
Father Photius
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Because it isn't called the vessel with the pessel.


Why did the magician buy a '52 DeSoto?
"Now here's the man with the 25 cent hands, that two bit magician..."
Bob Sanders
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His '49 DeSoto tuckered out.


Why do magicians have to live with birds and rabbits?
Bob Sanders

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francisngkl
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They don't want to make their wives reappear

Why do magicians perform on the street?
Carpe Diem, Seize The Day!
Bob Sanders
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It is the venue they can afford.

What is there modern about street magic?
Bob Sanders

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francisngkl
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Competition is so keen that magicians have to pay audience to watch their performance.

when is a good time for a magician to retire?
Carpe Diem, Seize The Day!
Bob Sanders
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EARLY!

What do magicians think about as they brush their teeth?
Bob Sanders

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francisngkl
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They got to stop using @&%# Language in their performance.

What is the difference between stage magic and street magic?
Carpe Diem, Seize The Day!
joseph
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$100 a show..

When is the best time to do the bill change?...
"Everything should be made as simple as possible, but no simpler." (Einstein)...
Bob Sanders
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When no one is looking!

What is the difference between a busker and a magician without a venue?
Bob Sanders

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francisngkl
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One knows how to cut cost right from the start of his career and the other takes 20 years to realise.

When can a magician be rich?
Carpe Diem, Seize The Day!
Bob Sanders
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The insurance company replaces the money produced in Miser's Dream.

Why does the magician empty his pockets before his act?
Bob Sanders

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francisngkl
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He knows the only way for him to get any tips is to rely on sympathy.

Why does a magician sneeze during his performance?
Carpe Diem, Seize The Day!
Bob Sanders
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Magic Valley Ranch, Clanton, Alabama
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Whiffle Dust!

How does a magician tell if a wand is right or left handed?
Bob Sanders

Magic By Sander / The Amazed Wiz

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francisngkl
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He couldn't, he is ambidextrous.

When can a Magician be the President of America?
Carpe Diem, Seize The Day!
Bob Sanders
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Magic Valley Ranch, Clanton, Alabama
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When American voters are ready to admit how easy they really are to fool.

Why do magicians need to use very bright colors in their acts?
Bob Sanders

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