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The Magic Cafe Forum Index » » Now that’s funny! » » Gag tag (0 Likes) Printer Friendly Version

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NJJ
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Three - to kill a mocking bird, cape fear and the remake of cape fear where he played a crotchety old judge.

Why are the answers to these riddles getting lazier?
Magic Enhancer
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Robert Haas
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Cause we're Americans. (Gee, that as lazy)

Why aren't Mexicans typically lazy?
Robert Haas
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Corona Smith
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Airstrip One
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Because they eat jumping beans, (yawn)....



What did the mexican jumping bean say to the spotted dick?
Magic Enhancer
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Robert Haas
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LEt's move to Mexifornia with my 2 nuts?

What did Moby Dick say to the spotted dick in Mexifornia?
Robert Haas
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magicgeorge
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Belfast
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Lets walk into a bar and see if anyone comes up with a punchline.

What time is it when your left leg explodes?
Professor Piper
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Somewhere, out there...
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Time to get the F___ outta IRAQ!

Two penquins walk into a bar....
"Nemo has been found! He was on an Admiral's Platter at Red Lobster!"
Rupert Bair
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It was a penguin bar.

What did Steven King get for his birthday of Micheal Jackson?
ricker
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A glove with the hand still attached.

What did the glove say to the car?
Corona Smith
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Airstrip One
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I'm an udder and you are a womb, lets make babies.


Three babies walk into a bar....
magicgeorge
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Belfast
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Three babies walk into a bar and all ask for a drink. Luckily for them it was that bar in "Total Recall" so the freaky woman sorted them out.

Three barbies walk into a spar...
Corona Smith
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Airstrip One
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Three barbies walk into a spar screaming 'Liberty or Death!' before blowing themselves up, they were working for the cows (true story).


What did the Anarchist say to the Policeman?
ricker
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Janie's got a gun (it was a policewoman).

What did the gun say to the bullet?
Magic Enhancer
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Robert Haas
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Just ask Brandon Lee!

Okay, that was mean....

How many pits are in a pear?
Robert Haas
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Josh Riel
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2 there is a pair of pits in a pear.

Why do I agree with Nicholas and also would add that they questions and answers are less funny than in the beginning?
Magic is doing improbable things with odd items that, under normal circumstances, would be unnessecary and quite often undesirable.
harris
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Harris Deutsch
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You want to be on Saints good list...(Christmas is coming)

Who was the brown nose reindeer?

(Lame jokes told at the right time can be as effective as great ones....or get groans and lack of work...)
Harris Deutsch aka dr laugh
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ricker
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Clyde the brown nose reindeer, he had a s**T of a time flying.

A moan or groan is a good as a laugh, that comes from Robin Williams.

What did the flying squirlel say to the talking moose?
harris
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Harris Deutsch
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I can see the Reindeer's lips moving...

Why did the Ventriloquist shop on line?
Harris Deutsch aka dr laugh
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music, magic and marvelous toys
http://magician.org/member/drlaugh4u
Professor Piper
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Somewhere, out there...
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So no one could see his HORRIBLE lip control!

Why do some folks complain about things, rather than just fixing them? Lazy perhaps?
"Nemo has been found! He was on an Admiral's Platter at Red Lobster!"
Josh Riel
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Because were someone to ask that question, they would in fact be complaining and at odds with themselves.


Why does a Necromancer need Romance, but Necrophilia not?
Magic is doing improbable things with odd items that, under normal circumstances, would be unnessecary and quite often undesirable.
NJJ
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Because you don't need to call corpse the next morning!

If twelve eggs is a dozen, what is twelve chickens?
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