The levitating milk bone trick.

Magicians who live in glass houses should never________________.

Clothes.


Where did the Café go?

Into a cybertopit.

A gorilla walks into a a greengrocers with a crocodile under each arm......

Grocer says, "The bananas are in aisle 5."
The Gorilla says, "No silly can't you see I'm looking for a CROCK pot."

What are the top 3 things magicians did while the Café was down?

They pressed refresh, refresh, refresh...

When is it not polite to tell a knock knock joke?

When you're in the company of the homeless.

A man walks into a doctors with a haddock strapped to each knee......

Doctor says.. "Heck, if you have a had-ache you should place them on your head". Oh I know that was bad. lol

What can you do when you have too much time on your hands?

Find a magician practicing watch steals.

What kind of load did Rudolph the magician produce?

I am not sure but it was rather smelly and it started to glow red. The elves decided to just leave it alone.

What was the name of Rudolph's twin brother?

Romulus, and together they brought the first Santa to Rome.

In the new year, I will defiantly not ________?

Edd

Post as many lame jokes to this thread. lol

I plan to use these great gag lines for.....?

I plan to use these great gag lines for my new job at the cracker factory.

Two Monks sitting in a hovercraft. One says to the other......

"Hey this whole walking on water thing is a piece of cake"

2 Penguins sitting on a fence _____________________ ...

2 penguins sitting on the fence. One turns and says to the other,
"I bet you £50 I can lay an egg so that it rolls down the side of the fence and lands in the snow completely unharmed"

The other one says "This is why you're always so skint, Bob"


Two polar bears in a dinghy........

Two Polar Bears in a dingy. One says the the other, "Why do we wear fur coats?"
The other says, "Because the seals laughed at us when we wore parkas."

Two magicians stranded on an island...........

..died of exposure.

Two parrots in a tree...

One says, "Did you hear about the merger of Polygram Records, Warner Brothers and Keebler?"

The other says, " The New company will be called Poly-Warner-Cracker."

2 magicians sitting on a tree......

2 magicians sitting on a tree both hiding coins in their hands. It was a palm tree.

The three little pigs are walking along the beach. The littlest pig finds a brass lantern in the sand. He picks it up, rubs it clean and a splendiforous genii appears.......

The pig says I'd like something foxy with nice long hair that can give a good blow...and that's how the whole fairy tale started. (be careful what you wish for)

So any way Derek is gluing his little brother Philip's face to a chair when all of a sudden Derek says...

Derek says, "Using philosophy, prove to me that this chair does not exists and I will let you go."
Philip thinks about it and answers, "What chair?"
Derek says, "Ok smartypants, who should you call if this chair breaks?"
Philip answers, "A Chairman."
Now Philip knows why Derek glued his face to the chair. =)

Use the following in a funny joke. 1) a banana 2) a magician 3) a raincoat and 4) a magic convention.