Hillary Clinton has actually performed several magic tricks.

The best part of January is?

Edd

U or Y

What puts Edd out of sorts?

His yearly sort out.

What puts Harris out of shorts?

His yearly performance at the "Sun bathers club."

If a magician were elected president, his first action would be?

Edd

To start a post about it on the Café.

What's the best thing to feed a baby rhino?

A bad magician.

What did the magician say to the spectator after he accidentally slammed his hand onto a spike during the Smash & Stab?

AFLACK


What was Harris' opening effect at the New Reformed Temple. (after Friday Night Shul and the traditional Chinese Buffet)?

Temple Screen? Temple of Baneras? Coin Star of David? Multiplying menorah? (I could go on...)

A clown car gets into an accident. The police arrive and the officer exclaims ___________!

Edd

Send out the Clowns...

Where does the Clown clean his Clothes?

In Tide.. cause it is much to cold Out Tide.

Why does a juggler always steal the show at a magic convention?

Because their the only ones that can get away with a balls up.

(geez, that was weak)

What did the DVD say to the VHS player?

What does VHS stand for... Very Hard to Sell?

What are the top 3 things you should do at a magic convention?

1. Make a planned to be booked at a gig that weekend next year.

2. Go prank the Trekkie convention.

3. Learn a new trick, because God knows we each need to know more tricks!

The writers strike will end when ____________ promises to never _____________ again.

AMPTP/PPDMBA

What's the difference between a helium filled cow and Alfred Hitchcock?

The Profile and one does not make cameo appearances in their films.

Why did the puppet say the cow was for the Birds?

Because he figured the cow was eating like a bird when he realized he as using Low COW dressing.

(ok ok that was a bit of a stretch... yet still funny. hehe)

Why did the cow stare at the scarecrow?

He was contemplating the human condition.

Sam Kinison, Lenny Bruce, and Richard Pryor walk into an afterlife bar...

Edd

Ok, well I guess my 12 hours are up. What happen, those names scare everyone?

So here is my answer to my own gag.

...and the bartender says, "Welcome to Salt Lake City."

New gag:
Apples next product release will be?

Edd

Ok Edd I guess I am really dumb here but I did not get the Salt Lake City line? hehehe Must just be me lol

Apples next product release will be the iCrate. It doesn't do anything but is a nice plastic bin to throw all your other outdated Apple products in. It will cost them $2 to make but will sell for only $299.99.

If an apple a day keeps the doctor away.... what does a pineapple do?

Kyle, none of their material would play in Salt Lake City so they must truly be in Hell.

Answer to Kyle's gag:
Keep Pine trees away.

If doctor's are afraid of apples what are worms afraid of?

Edd