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The Magic Cafe Forum Index » » Now that’s funny! » » Gag tag (0 Likes) Printer Friendly Version

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magicoftomh
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Inner circle
Cleveland, Ohio
3664 Posts

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The last cup of coffee with cream I got from the gas station.

What do magicians do to stay awake?
Here's hoping everything you do hits the BULLSEYE!

Tom Hornikel
http://tjhornikel.cjb.net
Father Photius
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Grammar Host
El Paso, TX (Formerly Amarillo)
17197 Posts

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They take those little magic pep pills their rabbits leave behind.

(Guys, the topic is humor in magic for the forum, and the topic for gag tag is supposed to be magic related. A number of the recent posts have not been magic related and are off topic. Please keep on topic.)

Why did the magician buy glasses for his rabbit?
"Now here's the man with the 25 cent hands, that two bit magician..."
Doctor Zolar
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Regular user
El Paso TX
131 Posts

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So the rabbit wouldn't have to eat as many carrots.

Why did the old senile magician carry an oxygen bottle to his magic shows?
Father Photius
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El Paso, TX (Formerly Amarillo)
17197 Posts

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Because his act was out of gas.

Why did the magician use only fake hypnotism in his tricks?
"Now here's the man with the 25 cent hands, that two bit magician..."
joseph
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Eternal Order
Please ignore my
17031 Posts

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Because he was using his pocketwatch chain to perform Tagged...
What did the psychic see in the future for the magician?...
"Everything should be made as simple as possible, but no simpler." (Einstein)...
Father Photius
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El Paso, TX (Formerly Amarillo)
17197 Posts

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A real hot trick, but it wasn't going to be in his show.

Why did the magician always insist on sitting on a ladder when doing card tricks?
"Now here's the man with the 25 cent hands, that two bit magician..."
Drew Manning
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Dallas, Texas
913 Posts

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He was hoping to discover the secret of the Zaney Blaney Ladder Levitation.

Why did the magician get rid of his card castles?
I live my life for a layer of ice
Just like those poured by my bartender vice
Any taste of vermouth would be really sublime,
When you have a good martini time!

-The Reverend Horton Heat
JamesTong
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Eternal Order
Malaysia
11208 Posts

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He discovered sand castles are more realistic.

Why is it that no matter how careful you are in your magic performances and preparations, something always go wrong somewhere?
Father Photius
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El Paso, TX (Formerly Amarillo)
17197 Posts

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LOL, James posted a Why is it that in gag tag.

Why did the magician refuse to perform in Malaysia?
"Now here's the man with the 25 cent hands, that two bit magician..."
JamesTong
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Eternal Order
Malaysia
11208 Posts

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Because almost everyone in Malaysia is performing Dynamike's 100 rings routine and the audience there want to see a 101 rings routine now, and no one can meet up with that audience's requirement.

Why did the magician like performing the cups and balls routine so much?
Father Photius
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El Paso, TX (Formerly Amarillo)
17197 Posts

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Because he had hired David from L&L as a shill and was cleaning up.

What did the magician have to do to get the big Las Vegas showroom to give him a chance?
"Now here's the man with the 25 cent hands, that two bit magician..."
JRob
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Veteran user
Central South Carolina
395 Posts

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I don't know but his wife and kids haven't seen for weeks.

Why did the magician buy so much stock in L&L?
"Jim Roberts, AKA: Professor Jay Rob "<br>
The Professor's Facebook Page
JamesTong
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Eternal Order
Malaysia
11208 Posts

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The offer is irresistible ... buy one and get 3 items free

Why did the magician return the latex dove to the magic shop for a refund?
Drew Manning
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Dallas, Texas
913 Posts

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Because he couldn't find any latex bird seed.

Why wouldn't the shop take it back?
I live my life for a layer of ice
Just like those poured by my bartender vice
Any taste of vermouth would be really sublime,
When you have a good martini time!

-The Reverend Horton Heat
jay leslie
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V.I.P.
Southern California
9492 Posts

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Don't you watch Monty Python?

Why did he put it up his sleeve?
Father Photius
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Grammar Host
El Paso, TX (Formerly Amarillo)
17197 Posts

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Because he heard that Dove was gentle on your hands and skin.

Why did the magician really want to be a lumberjack?
"Now here's the man with the 25 cent hands, that two bit magician..."
Doctor Zolar
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Regular user
El Paso TX
131 Posts

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He got tired of wearing black and he wanted to wear PLAID without be criticized.


What does Father Photius use Windex for?
jay leslie
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V.I.P.
Southern California
9492 Posts

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So he can see out of his Crystal Casket.

Why does he live in a Crystal Casket?
JamesTong
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Eternal Order
Malaysia
11208 Posts

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It is not so messy with props inside.

When do magicians call themselves magicians?
Bill Ligon
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Inner circle
A sure sign of a misspent youth:
6437 Posts

Profile of Bill Ligon
They can't pronounce "prestidigitators."

Why don't they call themselves "legerdemaniacs?"
Author of THE HOLY ART: Bizarre Magick From Naljorpa's Cave. NOW IN HARDCOVER! VIEW: <BR>www.lulu.com/content/1399405 ORDER: http://stores.lulu.com/naljorpa
<BR>A TASSEL ON THE LUNATIC FRINGE
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