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The Magic Cafe Forum Index » » Now that’s funny! » » Gag tag (0 Likes) Printer Friendly Version

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MagikDavid
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Loyal user
Cincinnati, OH
298 Posts

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To help magicians hit that "HIGH NOTE" in their performance.

Why are mentalists sometimes confused?
One good thing about being wrong...
Is the pleasure it brings to others.
JamesTong
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Eternal Order
Malaysia
11208 Posts

Profile of JamesTong
They do not know whether they are actually mentalist, or a magician or a jobless person.

What did the magician do when he is jobless?
joseph
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Eternal Order
Please ignore my
17083 Posts

Profile of joseph
He sets on this website, looking for ideas...
What did the magician put on his business cards?...
"Everything should be made as simple as possible, but no simpler." (Einstein)...
Father Photius
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Grammar Host
El Paso, TX (Formerly Amarillo)
17197 Posts

Profile of Father Photius
Peanut butter, because he couldn't afford bread.

A man is sitting at a table eating pizza, a man is in the kitchen cooking pizza, a man is waiting to deliver pizza, how do you tell which one is the magician?
"Now here's the man with the 25 cent hands, that two bit magician..."
MagikDavid
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Loyal user
Cincinnati, OH
298 Posts

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None of them... the magician can't afford to eat pizza, and therefore can't afford to cook pizza... he can't be waiting to deliver pizza because that would mean that he has a job.

Why did the magician gargle peanut butter?
One good thing about being wrong...
Is the pleasure it brings to others.
Father Photius
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Grammar Host
El Paso, TX (Formerly Amarillo)
17197 Posts

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Because he did an act with an elephant and the elephant loved his peanut breath.

What do magicians use peanut butter for besides eating?
"Now here's the man with the 25 cent hands, that two bit magician..."
JamesTong
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Eternal Order
Malaysia
11208 Posts

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To smear the faces of those creepy kids when they get out of hand.

What did the magician wear when he forgot to bring his costume to his performance?
Eric Woods
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Regular user
Kansas City
115 Posts

Profile of Eric Woods
His street clothes, so he could "Blendo" in with the crowd.

Why did the magician forget to bring his costume?
Father Photius
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Grammar Host
El Paso, TX (Formerly Amarillo)
17197 Posts

Profile of Father Photius
Because he wanted the audience to be sure and notice that there was nothing up his sleeves.

(And James, I've wanted to do that with peanut butter for years!)

Why did the magician insist that his assistants have red lips and red toenails?
"Now here's the man with the 25 cent hands, that two bit magician..."
MagikDavid
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Loyal user
Cincinnati, OH
298 Posts

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To disguise the fact that they were so ugly...

How can you tell when a magician has been in your back yard?
One good thing about being wrong...
Is the pleasure it brings to others.
Father Photius
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Grammar Host
El Paso, TX (Formerly Amarillo)
17197 Posts

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The trash can is turned over and the dog is....nah, can't do that, how about: There are silk scarves hanging on your clothesline and your rabbit has disappeared.

How can you tell that Mark Wilson has been hiding in your closet?
"Now here's the man with the 25 cent hands, that two bit magician..."
MagikDavid
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Loyal user
Cincinnati, OH
298 Posts

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Nani Darnell appears at your front door and asks, "Is my husband done using your phone yet? We're gonna be late for the David Copperfield show."

Why don't magicians attend NASCAR races?
One good thing about being wrong...
Is the pleasure it brings to others.
JamesTong
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Eternal Order
Malaysia
11208 Posts

Profile of JamesTong
They are too busy and eagerly waiting for a job.

Why did the magician spent his last ten dollars at the magic shop?
ERIC
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Inner circle
New Jersey
1188 Posts

Profile of ERIC
Cause he wanted to buy the 4,072,328th variation of the three card monte.

How did he pay for the taxi after he left the magic shop?
JamesTong
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Eternal Order
Malaysia
11208 Posts

Profile of JamesTong
He told the taxi driver that he would teach him the three card monte for a free ride.

Of all the tricks that are available for only ten dollars, why did the magician buy the three card monte?
Father Photius
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Grammar Host
El Paso, TX (Formerly Amarillo)
17197 Posts

Profile of Father Photius
Because he already had 57,283,966 thumb tips.


How can you tell that Nani Darnell has been hiding in your closet?
"Now here's the man with the 25 cent hands, that two bit magician..."
JamesTong
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Eternal Order
Malaysia
11208 Posts

Profile of JamesTong
Your entire wardrobe has been thrown into the dustbin ... she disapproves your taste in dressing.

Why did Nani Darnell hide in Fr. Photius's substitution trunk and not in the closet?
Doctor Zolar
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Regular user
El Paso TX
131 Posts

Profile of Doctor Zolar
She knows that she will not be accidentlly locked in the trunk as she knows how to get out of it.


Why did Nani Darnell pretend that she was not married to Mark Wilson for so many years?
Father Photius
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Grammar Host
El Paso, TX (Formerly Amarillo)
17197 Posts

Profile of Father Photius
Because she's mine! ALL MINE!

How can you tell if Max Mavin has been driving your car?
"Now here's the man with the 25 cent hands, that two bit magician..."
Doctor Zolar
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Regular user
El Paso TX
131 Posts

Profile of Doctor Zolar
There is hair oil and hair dye all over the steering wheel.


What does Nani Darnell say when she smells Rebo the Clown's breath?
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